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Raw Paleo Diet Forums => Personals => Topic started by: akaikumo on August 05, 2008, 07:48:10 am

Title: Attraction
Post by: akaikumo on August 05, 2008, 07:48:10 am
Not exactly personals, but it seemed to be the right place to put this.

Is it just me, or do others have the same problem with being attracted to non-paleo dieters?

I've always struggled with feeling shallow and never being attracted to someone for long, but the more I think about it, the more I think it's diet related. Even with people who are in good shape, it's almost like I can sense they're still unhealthy because of their diet. Anytime I see people eating non-paleo now, it makes me shudder.

I haven't been paleo for more than two weeks, and it's not complete yet, but I can see the difference. My breakout is clearing up, my teeth feel cleaner, even the color of my skin looks better. I've lost 4lbs already, and I didn't even need (or want) to lose weight. It looks like it's mostly in the abdominal area.

There just aren't that many paleo-dieters, though. And people tend to be defensive about grains and dairy, even when health-conscious. I don't even care if someone isn't eating raw.

Just kind of frustrating.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: boxcarguy07 on August 05, 2008, 07:58:34 am
Yeah I hear you on this...

It's hard enough to meet someone who shares the same values that I do in my generation, let alone throwing the diet into the equation.

I refuse to enter into a relationship with someone who I can't see myself eventually settling down and having kids with. And I will definitely not be having kids with someone who doesn't share the same views on health as I do, for the sake of my child.


I'm still pretty young though  ;D  and while I'm gradually beginning to accept that the whole wife and kids thing might never happen, either way I'll be completely happy simply to be alive.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: PaleoKyle on August 05, 2008, 08:06:45 am
Makes me glad to be a loner  8)
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: boxcarguy07 on August 05, 2008, 08:18:30 am
Loners unite!!!


uuuhhh wait, that kind of defeats the purpose  :D
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: goodsamaritan on August 05, 2008, 08:58:29 am
I'm attracted to young, healthy, fertile females who are interested in having offsprings.
Our paleo ancestors were most likely polygamous and pro-making-and-raising children.  The ones who did not like making and raising kids in the past were not our ancestors... their blood line died out.

We are the pioneers re-discovering the truths of our ancestors.
It is unreasonable to expect them to be on cooked paleo and even raw paleo.

What my kids do notice and I brag about it: when they and their mom get sniffles, colds, or coughs, I ask:  Who is always healthy?  Who does not get sick?  They know the answer, and they know why.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: akaikumo on August 05, 2008, 10:12:06 am
What my kids do notice and I brag about it: when they and their mom get sniffles, colds, or coughs, I ask:  Who is always healthy?  Who does not get sick?  They know the answer, and they know why.

Woo! Bragging rights!  8)
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: xylothrill on August 05, 2008, 11:25:16 am
I don't know how people can go from one person to the next. I'd rather have love without sex than sex without love and when I fall in love I fall hard! I want an everlasting love and always have but I always end up with someone who "loves" me but I don't love or I end up falling in love with someone who does not reciprocate or grows away from me. It took me two years to recover the first time I fell in love and it did not work. I could not develop feelings for anyone else during that time and now, I try not to get to close for fear of getting hurt again. I am a mateless soul.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: xylothrill on August 05, 2008, 11:30:54 am
Oh, and the older I get, the less looks matter and the more personality does. So, diet wouldn't be too much of a factor in most cases either.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Satya on August 06, 2008, 02:25:24 am
Oh, and the older I get, the less looks matter and the more personality does. So, diet wouldn't be too much of a factor in most cases either.

Ah, what a sweetie you are.  I wish I was as nice and thoughtful as you.  But alas, sex does matter in my book.  ::)

This whole subject reminds me of the dietary supremacy I have experienced in raw vegan circles.  You know, cooked food = poison gets extended to cooked people = poison.  I don't think that's what is being said here, it just reminded me of that general demise when idealistic perfection gets in the way of an otherwise healthy lifestyle. 
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: TylerDurden on August 06, 2008, 03:39:12 am
Like Satya said, we should be careful not to adopt a 'them and us" approach to those on cooked-food diets.

Mind you , what I love is being lectured by certain old-aged SAD-eaters on how cooked-diets are perfectly OK, as the others are invariably in an appalling state of health.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: xylothrill on August 06, 2008, 03:46:09 am
Like Satya said, we should be careful not to adopt a 'them and us" approach to those on cooked-food diets.

Mind you , what I love is being lectured by certain old-aged SAD-eaters on how cooked-diets are perfectly OK, as the others are invariably in an appalling state of health.

When I was taken out for my Birthday, there was a comment about how bad the shrimp was on an obese diabetic's plate. That shrimp was cooked of course but still, it was over a huge bed of linguine! I kept my mouth shut and ate my seared fish. I've learned whom not to discuss diet with. It's sort of like politics and religion with some people. Just best to avoid. My family is more receptive and some friends.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Sully on August 06, 2008, 06:31:33 am
When I was taken out for my Birthday, there was a comment about how bad the shrimp was on an obese diabetic's plate. That shrimp was cooked of course but still, it was over a huge bed of linguine! I kept my mouth shut and ate my seared fish. I've learned whom not to discuss diet with. It's sort of like politics and religion with some people. Just best to avoid. My family is more receptive and some friends.
I learned to hush up too...it can start an argument.. :-X...but it sucks seeing close ones poison themselves.... :'(
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: xylothrill on August 06, 2008, 11:12:13 am
I learned to hush up too...it can start an argument.. :-X...but it sucks seeing close ones poison themselves.... :'(

You're learning young, which is a good thing! Making it known to the self-poisoning ones can make them retaliate and become more intent on harming themselves despite you. It sucks!
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: akaikumo on August 06, 2008, 03:20:56 pm
I learned to hush up too...it can start an argument.. :-X...but it sucks seeing close ones poison themselves.... :'(

I'm learning to hush up, but yeah, I'm already getting tired of watching people I'm close to eat horribly, complain about the heath problems they're having, and eat horribly some more...and then lecture me on my new diet :P

But really, it does make me feel a little helpless. Nothing you can do about it though, except be an example of good health. They'll either follow suit or not.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: goodsamaritan on August 06, 2008, 08:08:25 pm
Oh, people will notice alright.
You will look prettier, and sexier and fitter and oozing with sex appeal they will notice you and ask you what you do.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: wodgina on August 06, 2008, 09:31:50 pm
Once you've been doing raw paleo for a while people will notice  looks are improved/attracting pheromones/clear eyes/nice skin even if they don't say anything. I've received some nice compliments since eating raw meat and fat.


Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: TylerDurden on August 06, 2008, 09:35:35 pm
Once you've been doing raw paleo for a while people will notice  looks are improved/attracting pheromones/clear eyes/nice skin even if they don't say anything. I've received some nice compliments since eating raw meat and fat.

I agree. One does get noticed more re clearer skin etc.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Satya on August 07, 2008, 01:12:29 am
I'm attracted to young, healthy, fertile females who are interested in having offsprings.
Our paleo ancestors were most likely polygamous and pro-making-and-raising children.  The ones who did not like making and raising kids in the past were not our ancestors... their blood line died out.

Yes, I am sure polygamy has been practiced; both polygyny (1 man, many females) and polyandry (1 female, many males).  However, when species become less sexually dimorphic, (ie. male and females are closer in size) monogamy is the general trend, and this is the case for humans.  When the female gets larger, it goes to polyandry.  With polygyny, the male has no concern for raising offspring whatsoever, generally speaking.

What stands out in my mind is that human sperm has adapted to fight foreign sperm if a second copulation occurs.  Thus, females with multiple sex partners must figure into our distant past to an extent.  Of course, with war killing off the males, polygyny would be the best outcome for surviving females. 
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: TylerDurden on August 07, 2008, 03:22:11 am
From what I understand, polygyny has been very common in ancient times, simply out of necessity(as males die younger due to leading more dangerous lives). Some areas of Africa have extremely high rates of polygyny(50%+?) due to constant wars, HIV/AIDS, the tribal practice of a widow always being immediately married off to her brother-in-law in order to ensure maintenance of her and her children, etc.)

*You know, I've often wondered how interesting it would have been if I'd been brought up as a  Mormon Fundamentalist! Of course, some sects such as the FLDS are horrific in their behaviour(towards both their men and women), but, apparently, c.2/3 of all Mormon Fundamentalists are quite well-behaved, not going in for the practice of child-brides, incest or whatever.*
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: xylothrill on August 07, 2008, 03:31:05 am
Never mind, I was thinking of polyandry.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Satya on August 07, 2008, 03:46:54 am
From what I understand, polygyny has been very common in ancient times, simply out of necessity(as males die younger due to leading more dangerous lives). Some areas of Africa have extremely high rates of polygyny(50%+?) due to constant wars, HIV/AIDS, the tribal practice of a widow always being immediately married off to her brother-in-law in order to ensure maintenance of her and her children, etc.)

Notice how men like polygyny and women polyandry?  Has anyone ever practiced this?

*You know, I've often wondered how interesting it would have been if I'd been brought up as a  Mormon Fundamentalist! Of course, some sects such as the FLDS are horrific in their behaviour(towards both their men and women), but, apparently, c.2/3 of all Mormon Fundamentalists are quite well-behaved, not going in for the practice of child-brides, incest or whatever.*

Ha ha!  Why do they practice polygyny anyway?  Is it because they are so few in number? 
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: TylerDurden on August 07, 2008, 04:01:18 am
Notice how men like polygyny and women polyandry?  Has anyone ever practiced this?

Polyandry was practised in Tibet(because husbands had to wander around a lot with infrequent access to their wives). Polygyny has always been part of almost all societies, until very recently with the advent of Western Civilisation.
Quote
Ha ha!  Why do they practice polygyny anyway?  Is it because they are so few in number? 


For most societies, that would be true, not for Mormon Fundamentalists. As any woman of a certain age will tell you, parties for older-aged people tend to frown on inviting single women above a certain age, as, otherwise, due to greater male mortality in the first few decades of life, there is too high a female to male ratio, which can cause problems. Introducing polygyny, despite feminist assertions re cruelty, enables the widow in question to be married to someone else(and thereby maintaining social respectability and steady financial  assistance from the new husband). Social guidelines(such as in Islam and various tribes), ensure that the new wife has to be equally provided for.

Re Mormon Fundamentalists:- Most "normal" Mormon Fundamentalists allow their children to follow whatever path they want(ie monogamy or polygamy). The result is that only a few of their children in each subsequent generation choose the path of polygamy, and most such polygamous relationships, while producing far more children on average than monogamous relationships, only involve 2-3 wives at most. The trouble is that the FLDS Mormons and one or two similiar groups(comprising c.1/3 -1/2 of polygamous US groups) encourage young women to marry at the age of 14(sometimes to their uncles!), plus they deliberately expel most of their young boys when the latter reach the teenage years, out of various religious pretexts, so that the older men have enough of the younger women to marry for polygamous purposes. The young men discarded in this way, tend to be based in the Las Vegas area and are called "Lost Boys".


Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Satya on August 07, 2008, 09:37:39 am
Polyandry was practised in Tibet(because husbands had to wander around a lot with infrequent access to their wives). Polygyny has always been part of almost all societies, until very recently with the advent of Western Civilisation.

Actually, polyandrous societies have existed all over the globe.  Polynesia, Mongolia, Nepal, Americas, Australia.  I took cultural anthropology in college years ago, and really, both forms and also multiple partners of both sexes are historical.

Besides, how do you account for sperm competition in humans if females historically had only one partner?

http://judson.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/13/a-seedy-rivalry/
"First, there’s the matter of sperm competition. The extent to which this has been a force in human evolution is controversial, because of what it says about the sexual behavior of our female ancestors. As I mentioned a moment ago, sperm competition can only happen in humans if a woman has sex with more than one male during the time when she is fertile. This means that she has to have sex with at least two men in the same week. (The exact window of opportunity is the subject of debate; but although the egg is only viable for about 24 hours, sperm can survive in the reproductive tract for at least a few days.)

"This certainly happens occasionally. There are a handful of reported cases of non-identical twins having different fathers — which can only happen if a woman ovulates two eggs at once (which happens from time to time) and also has sex with two men. The question is whether sperm competition happened often enough in our past to have shaped the sexual physiology of men.

"The odds are that it did."

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/62919.php
http://www.as.wvu.edu/~kgarbutt/EvolutionPage/FinalPapers/Sex3.htm
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: akaikumo on August 07, 2008, 01:28:35 pm
This thread is spurring some interesting conversation. Never knew any of that.

I never understood why polygamy is illegal, so long as all parties involved are consenting adults and not 14 year olds marrying their uncles.  :-X
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: TylerDurden on August 07, 2008, 05:46:46 pm
Actually, polyandrous societies have existed all over the globe.  Polynesia, Mongolia, Nepal, Americas, Australia.  I took cultural anthropology in college years ago, and really, both forms and also multiple partners of both sexes are historical.

Besides, how do you account for sperm competition in humans if females historically had only one partner?

I don't dispute that women can have affairs with other males while in a specific married relationship - after all, it's estimated that paternity fraud occurs anywhere from 10% to 30% of the time. It's just I'd only ever heard of Tibet as an example of polyandry, where a woman actually has 2 or more husbands(as opposed to having one husband and several other male lovers). The problem with polyandry is simply that while there are slightly more males than females born each generation, males are much more likely to die young due to wars/suicide/childhood diseases etc., so that the female:male ratio rises inexorably  - so there's usually a lack of supply for women who want two or more husbands - whereas, with polygyny, it becomes more feasible as an option to provide for recently widowed wives. Interesting to find out that it's more widespread than Tibet, though.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: wodgina on August 07, 2008, 06:24:47 pm
I don't dispute that women can have affairs with other males while in a specific married relationship - after all, it's estimated that paternity fraud occurs anywhere from 10% to 30% of the time. It's just I'd only ever heard of Tibet as an example of polyandry, where a woman actually has 2 or more husbands(as opposed to having one husband and several other male lovers). The problem with polyandry is simply that while there are slightly more males than females born each generation, males are much more likely to die young due to wars/suicide/childhood diseases etc., so that the female:male ratio rises inexorably  - so there's usually a lack of supply for women who want two or more husbands - whereas, with polygyny, it becomes more feasible as an option to provide for recently widowed wives. Interesting to find out that it's more widespread than Tibet, though.

The paternity fraud thing makes a lot of evolutionary sense, mate with the male with the strongest genes (alpha male)  and live with the partner who has fatherly instincts and can provide for the offspring. The best way of doing this would be to trick the male into thinking the offspring are his!! whether it's moral or not our genes don't care because it's a great way to give the offspring the best chance of survival.   
There's a different, far more common version of this where women will get pregnant to one guy (bad boy/alpha male)  and pop out a few with him then hook up long term with a 'provider' . Now this one I see all the time...
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Satya on August 08, 2008, 03:31:58 am
I don't dispute that women can have affairs with other males while in a specific married relationship - after all, it's estimated that paternity fraud occurs anywhere from 10% to 30% of the time. It's just I'd only ever heard of Tibet as an example of polyandry, where a woman actually has 2 or more husbands(as opposed to having one husband and several other male lovers). The problem with polyandry is simply that while there are slightly more males than females born each generation, males are much more likely to die young due to wars/suicide/childhood diseases etc., so that the female:male ratio rises inexorably  - so there's usually a lack of supply for women who want two or more husbands - whereas, with polygyny, it becomes more feasible as an option to provide for recently widowed wives. Interesting to find out that it's more widespread than Tibet, though.

I am sure polygyny is the more common form in our recorded history.  In the animal kingdom at large, most polygynous species do not have a large percentage of the male population mating at all.

For humans of the Paleolithic Era, however, I do find it interesting that, according to skeletal remains:

"The data come from age estimates of skeletons from various archaeological sites representing a variety of time periods in the Mediterranean region. Paleolithic skeletons indicated a life expectancy of 35.4 years for men and 30.0 years for women, which includes a high rate of infant mortality. This is consistent with data from the Inuit that I posted a while back (life expectancy excluding infant mortality = 43.5 years). With modest fluctuations, the life expectancy of humans in this Mediterranean region remained similar from paleolithic times until the last century. I suspect the paleolithic people died most often from warfare, accidents and infectious disease, while the neolithic people died mostly from chronic disease, and infectious diseases that evolved along with the domestication of animals (zoonotic diseases). But I'm just speculating based on what I know about modern populations, so you can take that at face value."
http://wholehealthsource.blogspot.com/2008/08/life-expectancy-and-growth-of.html

This would support the sharing of men by women in paleo times.  It would be vital for the female to reproduce before her early demise, and multiple males would help ensure that.

In modern India and China, the rampant selection of male children and abortion of females has set up a really bad situation where men are having trouble finding a mate.  Of course, it's the women who end up suffering in the forced sex trade.  Polyandry might be the only solution if everyone wants a mate in Asia soon.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Satya on August 08, 2008, 03:35:24 am
The paternity fraud thing makes a lot of evolutionary sense, mate with the male with the strongest genes (alpha male)  and live with the partner who has fatherly instincts and can provide for the offspring. The best way of doing this would be to trick the male into thinking the offspring are his!! whether it's moral or not our genes don't care because it's a great way to give the offspring the best chance of survival.   
There's a different, far more common version of this where women will get pregnant to one guy (bad boy/alpha male)  and pop out a few with him then hook up long term with a 'provider' . Now this one I see all the time...

That's right, and the female and offspring truly are, in an anthropological sense, the family unit. 

You know, the homicide rate for infant step children is really pretty high when compared to homicide of biological children.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: rawrock2 on September 17, 2008, 07:34:02 pm
Quote
Our paleo ancestors were most likely polygamous and pro-making-and-raising children.

100% true!  Monogamy was not maintained historically.  They were pro-making-and-raising children AND they also married kiddies as well.  I know that’s probably a sensitive subject but that IS how it was.  Not that I advocate Pedophilia but I wonder how the very mention of something that was the norm decades ago can be so dangerous.
Quote
And I will definitely not be having kids with someone who doesn't share the same views on health as I do, for the sake of my child.

I agree with you here personally but it all depends on how much the issue in question means to you.  You and your significant other won’t have the same views on everything, right?
Quote
I've learned whom not to discuss diet with. It's sort of like politics and religion with some people.
I can not agree with you more.  Diet should most definitely be included as one of the things that you don’t discuss with people.  People get very sensitive when diet is discussed.
Quote
sex does matter in my book

Amen
Quote
we should be careful not to adopt a 'them and us" approach to those on cooked-food diets
that’s right.  there can be  times when food does need to be cooked.  If you find yourself in a foreign land where disease-ridden meat is rampant or the quality is unknown then cooking your meat IS the way to go.  Eating raw meat then may be like playing roulette.
Quote
Polyandry might be the only solution if everyone wants a mate in Asia soon.

The tide is turning in parts of Asia.  In Korea, males used to be the preferred offspring but more and more couples (females AND males) desire a baby girl rather than a son.
Quote
However, when species become less sexually dimorphic, (ie. male and females are closer in size) monogamy is the general trend, and this is the case for humans.

I don’t know about that one…  But hey I’m not history expert or anything, just thinking out loud
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: reyyzl on November 24, 2008, 05:49:03 pm
Notice how men like polygyny and women polyandry?  Has anyone ever practiced this?

Ha ha!  Why do they practice polygyny anyway?  Is it because they are so few in number? 

In that case, you referring to the Mormons and child-brides, I hear they chase off many of the teenage sons, to narrow the pool.  There's a cable show called "Big Love" that I think is starting a new season tomorrow night.  It's supposed to show polygyny.
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: Dan on December 27, 2008, 06:05:35 pm
Not new, but it relates to men not raising their own kids.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/54934.php (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/54934.php)
Title: Re: Attraction
Post by: miles on September 01, 2009, 02:23:35 am
Oh, and the older I get, the less looks matter and the more personality does. So, diet wouldn't be too much of a factor in most cases either.

So.. someone's diet isn't a part of their personality? uhh..