Paleo Diet: Raw Paleo Diet and Lifestyle Forum
Raw Paleo Diet Forums => Off Topic => Topic started by: razmatazz on July 15, 2010, 06:52:58 pm
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Ok, so this has nothing to do with raw paleo, but as a young inexperienced person i was hoping to get some advice maybe?
So the thing is, im in a new relationship with a guy i really like (long distance, but lets not get into that..), hes the brother of my friend who lived on my floor during my 1st yr of university (just ended), and on the last week, the 3 of us went out, and me and this guy really hit it off..we've been in touch ever since.
So on one of our 1st skype chats where we were getting to know each other a bit more, we started talking about one night stands/things and he was telling me hes not like that and he would never go further than kissing on the 1st date, and also when he kisses a girl its never a one night thing and he believed im not like that either. I told him i'm that in the past,. yes, i have kissed guys and it was only a one night thing, but he's right, im a "good girl" and wouldnt go further on a 1st date etc. This is the honest truth, but the thing is, i made a mistake in the past where i did go further on the 1st date...it only ever happened once, mainly because i felt i was young and should just take a chance and do it cuz thats what i felt like doing at the time. I realised later that ONSs are not for me, and its not something i'd do again.. I kinda wanted to tell him, but i also didnt wanna screw anything up as it was the beginning of our r/s, and also i'd rather not say sth like that over skype where i cant gauge the other person's reaction..
Well i was ok with that, but yesterday i started thinkin about it and feeeling bad about it somehow. at night we were texting each other, and i was telling him i was feeling down because i was dwelling on a mistake i made in the past (i didnt tell him what it is ) and he was reassuring me that everyone makes mistakes and the most important thing is not to worry about them, lifes too short, etc etc. He also said he was glad i was telling him this because it shows i trust him and he trusts me too..
So basically, what im asking, is....should i be feeling this bad? Is that mistake something i should tell him, or should i leave it in the past because it dosen't matter anymore? Should absolutely everything be out in the open, even stuff thats not relevant anymore? was i being dishonest by not telling him? What should i do???
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So basically, what im asking, is....should i be feeling this bad? Is that mistake something i should tell him, or should i leave it in the past because it dosen't matter anymore? Should absolutely everything be out in the open, even stuff thats not relevant anymore? was i being dishonest by not telling him? What should i do???
You're not wrong for feeling bad but looking at it objectively you don't need to feel bad about this. What's past is past; it was a one time mistake and something that further defined your morals where they stand now. I wouldn't spend time dwelling on it but instead spend that same energy building the new relationship. Some day you may share it with him but it's not a deal-breaker IMO, especially not now.
This is of course unless he's saving himself for marriage and expects the same, then you need to let him know.
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You do whatever it takes to get your man.
Whatever your objective is.
Long distance relationships are very fragile and distance is not on your side.
Eventually people have to choose to either get together, get married, or split apart.
I do have a friend who got married and get together only once a year.
They now have 2 children.
Hey, it works for them.
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he was telling me hes not like that and he would never go further than kissing on the 1st date
The guy is full of shit. Do you really believe that if you offered him sex on the first date he would say OH NO I DON'T DO THAT? Come on. The best way to a guys heart is through his penis. The best way to a girls vagina is through her heart. It's always been that way and it always will be. My advice is to just get together and see if there is real chemistry between the two of you. If both of you are just waiting to rip each others clothes off then screw rules and just do it. If not then wait. It's as simple as that.
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The guy is full of shit. Do you really believe that if you offered him sex on the first date he would say OH NO I DON'T DO THAT? Come on.
I've done that so it's not impossible :P
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So basically, what im asking, is....should i be feeling this bad? Is that mistake something i should tell him, or should i leave it in the past because it dosen't matter anymore? Should absolutely everything be out in the open, even stuff thats not relevant anymore? was i being dishonest by not telling him? What should i do???
Don't tell him. He might get jealous about it or something. People can react in weird ways sometimes. You're young, so you think you should tell him everything, but you'll learn when you get older that it's not always the best thing to do.