Paleo Diet: Raw Paleo Diet and Lifestyle Forum
Members' Journals => Journals => Topic started by: Wolf on August 15, 2010, 07:44:28 am
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So I figure I should keep a journal, if only for myself to keep track of what's been happening while on this raw diet. I should have started it sooner, probably when I first started, since I have a bad memory, but it's too late now. Though, I only just started 100% raw a couple days ago, even though I started out mostly raw a couple weeks ago. I also have to leave soon now, so I can get some food before work, or else I'd go into more detail about the passed couple weeks. I'll do that instead when I get home.
For today, though, I finished off the last of my raw cheese and ate a bunch of raw cultured butter, (I'm not very good with measuring but it was a quite a few bites, probably at most an ounce of butter, if not less.. I seem to have something of a hard time eating much butter just straight, I should probably find something to mix it with. With the cheese was probably about the same amount, an ounce or less.) I want to try and finish off my raw milk, too, but it's a bit sour and also pretty well separated, and it kind of hard to drink. But there's probably about 2 cups to a cup and a half worth of milk to finish off. I'm going to leave after finishing this post to go to trader joe's before work and buy a pound of 100% grass fed organic ground beef, and 6 eggs, and try to eat all of it. I also scraped out the marrow from 5 morrow bones that I recently bought, which gave quite a bit or marrow, which I am also going to try and eat as much of as I can. I'm trying to eat as much as I can today and see for one, how that makes me feel as far as being hungry all day, and for two, because I'm also going to try and fast for three days starting tomorrow.
As far as body image/weight goals, I'm am not in the least overweight, borderline underweight if anything, you can easily see my ribs whenever I breathe in or stretch, but what I would like to do is first, loose as much of the unhealthy fat from my SAD diet that I do have as I can (I've got some good layers of fat on my hips and thighs.) but replace that fat with muscle instead(because I'm pretty weak and hardly have any muscle at all). Once I've got a good bit of muscle and feel strong, then I actually want to gain a good layering of healthy fat from a raw food diet overtop of it, not a lot by any means, just a nice little layer of good fat. I don't see anything bad about having fat, actually animals in nature which are fatter are usually healthier, but I think the fat gained from an SAD diet is unhealthy fat and bad. Fat that I would gain from this raw diet would be healthy fat and good fat to have. This is all just speculation from my views and opinions, though, and have no basis is any science that I know of whatsoever, so I have no idea how true any of that is.. it's just my own instinct which tells me it is so, and usually my instinct tends to be correct. Either way, overall health is still more important than body image and weight, so as long as I feel good I don't really care about body image/weight, these goals are just for an ideal situation.
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Alright so, yesterday I finished off the milk, ate all six eggs, and nearly the entire pound of ground beef that I bought. Was hardly hungry at all, and it felt pretty good. Thought I might even keep the dairy in for now, maybe phase it out slowly, as I get better used to animals fats to keep me filled up for the day. Going to try to bring it down to two meals a day, with a (dairy)breakfast of milk, eggs, and cheese, then a (meat)dinner of beef and marrow, maybe more eggs if I'm still hungry or preferably liver instead if I can find any. Oh and also either throw in a lunch or an after dinner snack of fruit when I do eat it. That seems like enough to keep me from being hungry all day. Also going to try to fast for one or two days a week, maybe even three(all in a row), for one to save money, and for two during the days my dad has off from work and it's harder to sneak what I eat. Going to try to portion things better so that food will last longer.
I also didn't fast for today. I ate a bit of leftover meat from my ground beef that I couldn't finish off, which had sat out in my room all night and all day before I ate it, so it was nice and brown and tasty. Then a little while after that I ate some raw cheese, maybe an ounce, and there was probably two or three ounces of the meat left that I finished off. But that's all I ate today, otherwise only drank water.. been pretty hungry though, it's kind of hard to fast or restrict how much you're eating when you're working with tasty smelling pizza all day, and people eating it in front of you. But I don't have work tomorrow or the day after, so I'm going to try and fast for those two days.
I also found some decent marrow today, though I didn't buy any. The Ralph's down the street had beef bone marrow slices, only one pack though, and also some beef bone legs (labeled dog bones) that looked pretty good though they were pretty big and I have no idea where I'd be able to hide them. I also have no idea if it's grass-fed or what, but it's still pretty cheap, and if these bones don't smell gross like the other one's I bought from food4less, then I think I've found myself a good source of fat for now. I think I might have to throw out the other marrow, because it smells really unappetizing and I don't know why. I wish I had a dog I could share with though, so I could give them my leftover bones, this marrow that stinks bad, and any meat that gets too high for me to eat it. I do really like chewing on bones though. Now I just need to see if I can find some grass-fed liver, and I'll be a happy camper.
As for the passed couple weeks, I started out mostly raw probably about 2 and a half to 3 weeks ago. Been drinking nothing but water (or milk) since I started. I mostly started with raw eggs and raw meat and fruit, though I still ate pasteurized milk and cheese, and some raw bean sprouts. I was still very hungry when I first started, and ended up eating a couple of stouffer's mac and cheese dinners, mostly because I was about to start my period soon and it doesn't do good to not eat much right before it starts or while I'm on it. Also had a double cheeseburger with the bun and some breaded chicken strips at soak city when I got hungry. Had some pretty bad cramps when i started my period too, and had to take tylenol. Soon after I got off my period, and determined to eat better now that I wasn't menstruating, I went on vacation to vegas, where I couldn't bring any food along with me, and we only really ate out at restaurants. On the road to vegas we stopped by at fast food, and I got a couple of tacos with steak meat and cheese only, and I discarded the shells and only ate the meat and the cheese. Pretty much the entire vacation (of like 3 days) I ate as rare as I could get steak, sunny side up eggs, and fruit. Once I drank milk, and another time I ate a double cheeseburger, but I discarded the bun. I was extremely ravenous, and never full, I could eat a steak dinner twice in one day without feeling full, and even when I ate the fully cooked double cheeseburger, which was a full pound of meat with some cheese on it, I was still hungry afterwards. Nothing I ate made me full or satisfied my stomach. I began to think maybe I'd gotten worms which were eating all of my food and making me hungry. Once I got back from vacation, I fasted for one day, only drinking water. This seemed to fix my ravenous hunger pretty well. Also figured there wasn't enough fat in my diet which was why I was always hungry and also tired a lot, though I was already having higher energy levels, especially when eating raw eggs. Couldn't find any source of fat at all though, so I resorted to dairy. Problem was, all my dairy was pasteurized. Recently found a place that actually sells raw milk! As well as a bunch of other grass-fed meats. Bought a bunch of raw dairy and haven't eaten pasteurized since. Raw milk when fresh is absolutely delicious, and I don't understand why anyone would ever pasteurize it. Still looking for a good source of grass-fed animal fats though. Just the other day found some beef marrow bone slices at food4less, and bought them pretty cheap. But they smell really weird and the marrow smells weird too. Don't know if marrow and bones are supposed to smell like that, but it's very unappetizing and I think I might throw the marrow out, and try the Ralph's ones instead. If those smell/taste good, then I've found myself a suitable and amazingly cheap source of animal fat! And that's a summary of what I've gone through and eaten the passed couple weeks. Next phase is to try to get rid of the dairy, and stick to just animal meat, animal fat, and eggs. Also looking for a good source of grass-fed beef liver, and then I might even be able to phase out the eggs, or just eat less.
So far, the benefits I've noticed from eating raw are:
Increased energy when waking, and throughout the day if I'm eating enough, even with less sleep than normal, especially if I eat eggs; a more regulated sleeping schedule compared to the very erratic sleeping schedule I previously had; Dreams seem to be more frequent and more pleasant, however sometimes I do get times of dreaming that will go away so I don't know if it has anything to do with what I'm eating; breath no longer smells, even when waking or after eating, and I have not brushed my teeth whatsoever since before even starting this diet; teeth seem to be getting whiter and feeling stronger, and no longer ever have any sort of buildup or plaque, always feel clean; sweat and body odor have completely changed scents, do not smell as bad, almost smells sweet, and clothes never stink anymore; uh, feminine area seems to have changed scent somewhat, no longer as strong smelling and more pleasant, doesn't taste nearly as salty; stomach has flattened slightly and looks more muscly than fatty, as do arms, though I have always been skinny so there was never much fat on the belly or arms, and despite no increase in any sort of exercise whatsoever; muscles in general feel stronger and more eager to be used, whereas before I was extremely lazy and never wanted to get up and move around; skin feels softer, not as much need for lotions and conditioners for hair either, and also started showering using only water and no soap or cleansers whatsoever; seem to be getting less acne and face seems to be slowly clearing up, most of the zits I do get go away by themselves which never happened before, or pop quickly and easily, and acne on the back/shoulders/chest has disappeared completely; and improvements in general mood and happiness.
Eating cooked foods like the steak and eggs during vacation seemed to show up with buildup/plaque on the teeth and slightly bad breath, and also included sleepiness after eating, sleeping longer hours at night, and feeling a bit more tired when waking up.
Otherwise, these are the bad things which I have noticed during this diet:
Everytime I lay down to go to sleep or when I wake up in the mornings, I get a stuffy/runny nose akin to allergies every day which I never used to get before, except every once in a while; I'm still getting acne, even though it's much less now, but it still keeps popping up here and there, and the blemishes from previous acne are taking forever to go away; I'm still hungry a lot throughout the day, though it's probably because I'm not eating enough, but I was able to more frequently go with much less food and feel fine while on SAD; infrequent bowel movements, sorry for being frank but I've only pooped probably about 3 or 4 times since starting on this diet, even during and after the three day vacation of pigging out on cooked meat and cooked eggs and fruit, I still didn't have a bowel movement afterwards until a couple days later, and I still don't ever have any.. I don't know if this means I'm constipated, because I don't ever even feel like I have to go at all either.. or if it means I just have some sort of super digestion that breaks down and absorbs absolutely everything I'm eating, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere else. I still pee normally, I've seen no difference in the frequency or even colour of my pee, but as far as #2 I haven't seen much of anything.. and before going on this diet I was pretty decently regular, usually would have at least one bowel movement a day if not more, and only sometimes went a day or two without one, but I'd eventually have one. It's pretty well got me stumped and I have no idea what to do about it, or if it's really even a bad thing. But yeah, that's about it.
So really, the benefits in my opinion far outweigh the bad, and I'm determined to keep up on this diet.
My MOST looked foreward to goal right now is the clearing up of my acne. I have been plagued with this curse for so long now, which has only been getting worse the older I get, spreading from only one spot at a time on my face when I was younger, to a couple spots at a time on my face, to my whole face, to more recently on my entire face, and neck, shoulders, back, and chest, and even sometimes on my ears, and it's one of the main reasons I've been so shy and un-confident my whole life. Seeing it cleared up from my chest/shoulders/back/neck already is a blessing in itself, and has greatly boosted my confidence. I am no longer afraid to show off my shoulders or my bare back! If my face completely clears up for the first time in my life, I would feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I would have the utmost confidence in my appearance, especially along with my now always clean teeth and never bad smelling breath, I would feel like I could conquer the world. I would feel free. It would be amazing. I am already feeling some of that confidence, and it is awesome. I want more. I want to be the best. My acne is the only thing holding me back. I want it gone. I want it gone naturally. I never took medicines to cure my acne because I don't want the side effects, I don't want to become reliant on any drug, I don't want it to be that whenever I stop taking it or doing it I break out again. I want it to go away by itself. This diet so far is the best thing to ever happen to me.
Last but not least for this extremely long post, I will add that I have begun working out seriously since the other day. My legs are still so sore that it is difficult to walk, but I have someone who will hopefully help to motivate me. I am very weak though, and can't do much for now, but I'm going to try and do as much as I can of girly pushups(because I can't do real ones yet), sit ups, squats, and jumping jacks. Also going to try to add in random stretches and exercises that I remember doing from P.E. and Karate if I can and remember. I can't really do more than 20 of anything except jumping jacks, which the most of those I could do at once was 45. So yeah, that's everything up to date I supposed, and now it's passed my bedtime so I'm going to sleep now.
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a quick note: any blemishes or mucous is usually the body expelling stored toxins. you can help the process of your sinuses by using a neti pot with celtic sea salt, and for your skin, dry brushing before showers, using a shower filter to absorb all the shit in tap water from absorbing into your skin, using coconut oil on your skin as a lotion, and getting sunlight on your skin.
for bowel movements eat live cultured fermented foods, fresh lemon or lime juice and ACV, and in the short term try some magnesium oxide capsules.
and eat to satiation. constant hunger is a constant stress.
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But... You don't know if it's because your body is overwhelmed now, or if it's your body making up for when it was overwhelmed in the past...
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(Oops, I wrote this last night but forgot to submit it.)
Well the mucus doesn't bother me much, it's just a very minor annoyance. I'm just confused by the fact that it only happens when I lay down to sleep or wake up. Doesn't happen at all for the rest of the day, even if I'm laying down, only when I lay down to sleep. As for my skin, what do you mean by dry brushing? Like, wiping my exfoliating sponges/rags over my skin without water? Where can I find a good filter for cheap, and without much installation? I don't really need any lotion, my skin isnt much dry, and I do try to get at least a little sun everyday, but I want to try to get more to for one, help clear my skin, and for two, to get more tan.
I do have raw cultured butter, should that help with bowel movements? because it's done nothing whatsoever so far. I also ate a few slices of lime one day, and that didn't do anything either. I don't know what ACV or magnesium oxide are though, they don't sound very good.
And it's difficult to eat to satiation when you're limited on foods and want them to last you the entire week even when you could eat it all in one day. I am working on getting enough foods to last me the whole week without making me hungry though, which is why I'm still keeping raw dairy in my diet even after finding a decent and cheap source of marrow for fat.
and as for my body being overwhelmed, in what way is it being overwhelmed? not trying to say it isn't being overwhelmed, just trying to clarify how you think its being overwhelmed.
Now, as for today, I did not eat anything at all, and only drank my fiji water. Feeling rather weak and tired, craving food although not necessarily feeling hungry. Dad went and bought groceries, which ruined my plans of asking him for the grocery money and going shopping myself so I can buy more of the foods I want to eat, especially since my dad seems to only buy one dozen of commercial eggs, whereas I wanted to buy 3 or 4 dozen organic free-range and cage-free eggs. I now have a nice supply of fruit and (mung)bean sprouts though, which I'm going to have to eat even though I'm trying to keep vegetables out of my diet, but now I'm going to include the bean sprouts until they run out. Fruit I don't mind to add, but I was enjoying staying on a completely animal raw foods for a few days there. But now I'm going to binge out on some plant foods for a couple days once I finish fasting. Don't know if I'll be able to fast for tomorrow too or not, I'll see how I feel and try to fast if I can, if not then I'll probably end up finishing off my raw cheese, eating a couple eggs, and then mainly eating fruit and bean sprouts. Hopefully I can hold off until Wednesday though, which is when I have to go back to work.
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i use an aquasana shower filter, you can google or search amazon.com, also try radiantlife.com
google dry skin brushing and you'll see what i meant by that. the shower filter is much more important though.
and its always your choice, but it doesnt seem to me that your fasting is helping you. if you havent organized your personal food freedom yet, you can at least mitigate the damage by learning to cook healthy non-raw meals in the short term.
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Thanks I'll try looking those things up.
As for my fasting, I haven't eaten at all today either, though I was actually feeling pretty good other than a bit weak, but all I've been doing is laying around in bed. That is until I decided to go buy myself a new mouse for my laptop, driving down to best buy(which is like a 5 - 10 minute drive) and buying a mouse, then stopping by ralph's on the way back(which wasn't out of my way at all) to check if they have anything grass fed at all, or preferably some grass-fed liver or marrow, has thoroughly exhausted me. I don't remember ever really feeling this weak and tired when I fasted during my SAD diet, and I'm wondering if I should get myself more used to this raw foods diet before I try intermittent fasting again. Gonna see if I feel better laying in bed for a little while, then try to continue my fast for today though, but if I don't feel better then I'll probably eat something later today. I do want to try and get at least one more good night's sleep on this fast before I eat again though, trying to speed up the healing of my acne blemishes. Patience is a virtue though, I guess, and I'm probably not going to try fasting again after this unless my body tells me I need to by not feeling hungry and not becoming weak from not eating.
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Still haven't eaten, and feel well enough to last until it's time to sleep, but I will definitely be eating tomorrow, especially since I work. Pleased to discover that my thighs, which were probably the only part of my body that I considered fat, no longer touch as easily when I am standing, whereas they used to always touch. Dismayed to find that my breasts are also shrinking, although that was an expected side-effect to go with fat-loss, I am still sad to see them smaller than they already were(which was pretty small, b cup at best, though probably closer to an a cup, and definitely an a cup now, even with a little room) and especially because they had actually gotten a little bigger before I started raw. However I am glad that I am shedding the fat, but I don't want to become underweight.. I don't have a scale to measure how much I weight but I am probably close to 100 pounds, or just a little over(at around 5'4, maybe 5'5").. so I am eager to finish this fast and begin eating again so that I have the energy to work out and I can replace this fat reduction with muscle gain. Also finding that my urine seems to be a little bubbly, which hasn't really happened before, and I am wondering if that means I am in ketosis or whatever.. if that is so, then I am wondering if I should avoid breaking this fast with the abundance of fruits that my dad just bought, and instead go for meats and fats that would not only go well with my ketosis, but help me to build muscle when I am working out. However, I'm going to eventually eat the fruit, at least within a day or two, so I'm not sure how well avoiding it only for a day will work out, especially since eggs are also one of my staple foods, which also contain some carbs. Also wondering if I can get through this weakness I feel enough to get to the organic store and buy myself some meat so that I can break my fast with it. If I can't make it, then at best I'd have to break my fast on raw cultured butter which i think is the highest fat containing food I have at home right now, that or eggs. Probably raw eggs yolks would be the best to start on, followed by the butter. Hm.
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Alright, so I also want to keep track of eye colour change, after making this post: http://www.rawpaleoforum.com/general-discussion/eye-color-change-updates/msg42982/#msg42982 ..although this is pretty difficult due to different cameras, different lighting, and a bunch of other things, I think I'll still post up picture of my eyes throughout time.
Alright, so, here are a bunch of pictures of my eyes taken throughout the years (from about 16/17 to 21 years old, and all posted in order of oldest to newest), although taken with different cameras and in different lightings.. and yes, some/most of my pictures are overbright, but that was usually to eliminate as much of my acne from the pic as possible, but also shows the colour of my eyes better:
(edit: also, there are only two of these older pics in which I am wearing makeup/curled my eyelashes, and two of them where im wearing no makeup but my eyelashes are curled.. otherwise, every other picture both here and in the newer ones are without makeup and without curled eyelashes)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/Image002.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/me003.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/l_8d9f77be817a4b08ba1159a604811083.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/l_fb6c305934eb40759df50d1a9795be1f.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/l_079217eff8084959898d1f141589c0c0.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0423001752.jpg)
And then here are my more recent pictures of my eyes that I took(age 22), after being on mostly raw for a couple weeks and 100% raw for a couple days. Unfortunately I got a new cell phone(which is my main camera used for taking pictures) and it has a much worse camera on it than my last phone which broke. These were also mostly taken on the same day, with i think only the last one taken the day after:
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0811101746.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0813101812.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0813101812a.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0813101813.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0813101813a.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0813101814.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0813101814a.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0815101825.jpg)
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Okay, I keep craving pasta, what I wouldn't do to eat one of those stouffers frozen tv dinners of delicious mac and cheese or delicious lasagna, mmmmm.. they so good, but I don't want to worsen my acne or kill my energy or worsen my breath or rot my teeth by eating flour/grain and processed preserved and frozen products!!.. Oh man, but some nice cheese ravioli from a good italian restaurant couvered in a delicious creamy cheese sauce sounds so good right now.. or even some of those chef boyardee canned meat ravioli swimming in delicious meaty tomato sauce, oh man.. why am I craving pasta so much?? And sugar, too, man, Halloween is coming up and I won't be able to eat any of my favourite candies.. no reese's peanut butter cups, or tootsie rolls, or cookies and creme white chocolate hershey's bars, or candy corn, or caramel, or oh man, maybe I can just replace the candies and sweets with some fruits and honey.. but the pasta, why aren't there very many varieties of raw cheeses? cheese is one of the biggest loves of eating.. uuugh, I don't even feel hungry, I'm just craving tastes.. maybe my period is coming up soon.. i hate this
edit: OHHHH MAN, CHOCOLATE CAKE.. I WANT IT SO BAD.. a nice warm melty moist thick milk chocolate cake with a fat layer of milk chocolate frosting and melty chocolate chips with chocolate shavings on top and some deliciously sweet and creamy raw milk to wash it all down, oh man if all that was set in front of me right now I would eat it all in an instant.. I think I'm PMSing.. at least the cravings part.
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I think being a woman is going to kill me with all these cravings.. why do I have to have such acne problems? why can't I be normal and just get a few little pimples here and there instead of my whole face and shoulders and upper back covered in a bunch of ugly zits and pimples and black heads and blemishes and red spots that never go away and only get worse? why do I have to be so cursed? why am I so punished? what did I ever do to deserve this? I can take being tired, I can take being lazy, I can take having to brush the plaque off my teeth and having to gargle listerine to get rid of my smelly breath, I can take having to wear deodorant, I can take having to wash with soap and use conditioners and lotions, i can take all these other afflictions which have been cured by eating raw, but I can't take this acne. I can't stand it. I want it gone and never to return. I want to be able to be normal, and to be confident, and to be able to flirt with guys without having to worry about them being grossed out by my acne, at being a "butterface," and be able to eat whatever I want and still be beautiful and acne free forever, I don't want to be afflicted with the aching pain that comes with pimples popping up, even this raw diet doesn't seem to be clearing it up entirely, I still get zits here and there, I still have blemishes all over my face, I can still feel more of them under my skin, how long is this going to take? will it ever go away? will I ever be able to be free? I'm 22 years old and well passed the typical teenage years of acne so why has it only gotten worse? why? why?? why??!??!? I hate it, I hate it, and it makes me hate myself, I can't stand this..
/rant
okay yeah maybe I'm pmsing more than cravings..
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edit: OHHHH MAN, CHOCOLATE CAKE.. I WANT IT SO BAD.. a nice warm melty moist thick milk chocolate cake with a fat layer of milk chocolate frosting and melty chocolate chips with chocolate shavings on top and some deliciously sweet and creamy raw milk to wash it all down, oh man if all that was set in front of me right now I would eat it all in an instant.. I think I'm PMSing.. at least the cravings part.[/font][/color]
ROFL that was funny.
There is a cheese called raw mozzarella that is more like pasta.
Check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvZEHbYG8G4
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Omigosh, that's amazing.. I love mozzarella! The only thing I'm slightly confused about, it the milk that he poured into the pot, was that fresh raw milk, or the raw milk he had left sitting out for two weeks? Or did he only leave the milk out for two weeks to separate out the whey, then left the whey in his closet for a month, then used that whey in fresh raw milk? And if that's so, what can be done with the old milk that he took the whey out of? I'd actually rather that it was the old milk he poured into the pot, because I'd rather drink my raw milk while it's still fresh and sweet and delicious..
Although actually, this morning when I woke up all my cravings were gone. I did manage to keep up my fast until I fell asleep last night, but this morning I felt hungry for the first time. I think it's because my body knew I had decided to eat today. However, I forgot to sneak any eggs to my room last night and this morning I couldn't get any until a couple hours later after my dad left.. by then I was pretty hungry with only some cold eggs. I don't like eating them cold, but I did break my fast by eating one cold raw egg yolk. I have three more warming up in my room now, but after eating the one yolk, I devoured an entire plate full of fruit(after waiting several minutes at least after the egg though).. mostly pineapple, blackberries, and mango. Bad, I know, but it was either that or more cold egg yolks, which I don't really like the taste of. Fruit doesn't fill me up though, and I'm still pretty hungry, so I can't wait for those three other eggs to warm up. I've got work today, but I'm going to leave early so I can visit the health store and buy some raw milk, raw cheese, and raw grass-fed beef, then also ask if there's any way I can get raw grass-fed beef liver or raw grass-fed beef marrow. Also going to call Ralph's when I finish this post, because it seems you can order grass-fed meats from them, but I want to inquire specifically about grass-fed beef liver and grass-fed marrow, since I can get grass-fed meat at the health store that has raw milk.
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sorry to be somewhat graphic, but WOO, I had a bowel movement.. and, although it felt in my gut that uncomfortable feeling like I get when I have diarrhea, it actually came out smooth and soft but solid.. like the bristol chart type 4. I'm just glad I actually had a BM though, maybe fasting for 2 days really helped! I don't know for sure, but hopefully I continue having good BMs.
In otherwise unfortunate news, I will not be able to order grass-fed liver or grass-fed marrow from Ralph's. My only other hope is the health food store, which I already asked about marrow and they didn't really have any.. So all I can hope for is that they might have grass-fed liver. As for marrow, I guess I'm just going to have to resort to grain-fed marrow. The bones at Ralph's seemed to smell only slightly better than the other ones I got from the cheaper store, though I can't tell for sure, they might even smell just as bad.. are bones supposed to smell weird?
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I love grainfed marrow. Yum. I toss bones outside in the garbage...don't keep them in your house unless you are using them for stock. They will stink (lesson learned, haha).
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Hm, for some reason this marrow smells really bad to me.. well I bought some from a better store, though it was quite a bit more expensive to buy the bone slices, but if I like it then I can try buying the whole leg bones and see if I like those, because they were super cheap. Just don't know where I'm going to hide and throw the bones so my dad doesn't notice them.. Plus I want to chew them!
Been thinking I might allow myself something like one day a month to be able to eat whatever I want, as far as cooked, processed, sugary, starchy, fried, fast food, cheesy bad for you in the worst way foods. I do miss them. And working with pizza everyday doesn't help. Thinking i might have this one allow day be just on whatever day I start my period, every month. I also like being immune to everything, so becoming so that eating cooked or bad for you foods makes me sick is not really appealing to me. I don't want to fear eating some cheesey mac and cheese just because I'll feel like crap the next day, when I can eat half-rotten meat and sour milk without getting sick at all.
Spent like $65 on a few steaks and some milk basically. That's pretty expensive. I can get 4 times as much grass fed ground beef for the same price as one grass-fed steak. Thinking I might just stick with the ground beef, 'cause I can't be spending $65 a week on food. Hoping the milk won't separate and go sour as fast if I keep it colder for longer. Mad that my dad is home when I got home, so I couldn't sneak my cooler into my room. Didn't get to try my grass-fed steaks yet. Hoping the ice won't melt and let my milk and cream get warm.
Found blood in my urine when I got home. Don't know what this means, since there's no pain with it at all. Hoping it might just be my period, but there doesn't seem to be any blood coming from.. that part. Only in the urine. Don't want to go to the doctor, either, and get poked and prodded in my personal places(I'm a virgin, too). Have no idea what could be the cause other than maybe my fasting for two days, even though I drank water the whole time, then pigging out on fruit and egg yolks.. but I don't see how that can cause blood. I don't know what to do about it. Hope I'm not dying. Oh well.
Was still weak and tired today, despite starting to eat again. Though I didn't get to eat any of my meat, so that might be why. Hope I feel better tomorrow and that the blood goes away. Kind of afraid to pee, now.. :'(
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Alright, so, haven't had anymore blood in my urine, unless it's such a small amount that I can't see it. Yesterday, I ate nothing but raw dairy stuff, namely milk, cream, butter, cheese, and eggs, and didn't get hungry enough all day to even eat any meat! That surprised me. Don't know if I can survive on just pure dairy though, so today I decided that first thing I'd eat would be some meat. Tried my grass-fed rib-eye steak, but found it to be very unappealing in taste, don't know why, I think I just dislike rib-meat. ate as much of as my portion as I could though (portioned myself about 5 ounces) and mostly just left the strips of fat uneaten, which tasted the worst. Hoping I can find a way to make the taste more appealing before tomorrow, when I eat my last portion of rib eye, which is another 5 ounces, as well as what was left of today's steak. Nibbled on some of the better marrow for the first time, but marrow is still really weird to me and I couldn't eat much more than a few nibbles. I can't even tell if I like marrow or not. It's just weird. Anyways, I was still hungry, but I went downstairs to re-fill the ice in my cooler so I can keep my cream and meats cool. Got the ice and such then went outside to dump the bad-smelling marrow over the fence. Sun felt really good, even though it's evening-sun, about 4:30pm sun, but it was still nice and hot. Sat in the sun for about 15 minutes, before I went back inside and washed out the container that had the bone marrow. Was still hungry, so I drank some milk and cream, even though I'd rather have waited longer after eating the meat, but I have to leave for work soon. Gonna hope that this small meal will keep me full for the whole day, though if I get hungry when I get home, then I can eat my day's portion of cheese with some of my cultured butter. Hoping I won't have to, so that my food will last me longer, and save me money. $65 for a few steaks and some milk, cream, and cheese is quite a lot so I'd like this food to last me as long as it can. Acne blemishes seem to be clearing up well, can't wait for them to be gone. Gotta go to work now.
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I suffered bad acne off and on as a teenager,
I believe it is caused by the livers inability to metabolize excess hormones, and hormone byproducts then try to eliminate through the skin, causing an overstimulation of the oil ducts, and leaves you vulnerable to tiny infections and inflammations.
Liver congestion is often unnoticed and rarely considered by most people with acne problems
My liver was not able to eliminate the toxins I was consuming: at the time I was eating heavily processed foods, vegtable oils as well as cooked meat and cooked milk that was treated with bovine growth hormone and fed god knows what. I believe that the hormones in dairy can often tip the hormonal balance to cause liver overload.
Any topical treatments do not address the cause (liver overload),I think excess face washing made my acne worse, eventually I quit washing my face with anthing(just rinse with water) , and the issue
resolved itself, even before I reformed my diet
You may consider limiting dairy and trying an egg yoke liver flush,(it may take a couple of months to get the liver in good enough repair were it can begin to clear out the excess hormonal waste)
My early liver trouble went unnoticed and when I got older I got extreme liver congestion and had to do a more extreme flush to clear out the liver stones, I was big on dairy at the time and really wasn't aware that dairy was causing me so much trouble, once I eliminated dairy and processed oils my liver congestion went away on its own.
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My acne has been constant, nonstop, and only seems to be spreading as I get older. And I'm passed my teenage years, I'm 22 years old now and had acne spreading onto my chest, back, and shoulders where it had never appeared before even as a teenager. I think there are very individual causes for acne, because not every treatment seems to work for everyone. I've been consuming raw dairy for a little while, and my acne seems to still be going away. Even consuming cooked dairy did not seem to cause too much of a problem with it. I think the main problem was probably grains. There might be a few other factors that have contributed, but the main one seems to be bread. However, once (if) this acne does fully clear up, I've decided I'm going to try a bit of experimentation by adding specific different types of cooked/processed/unraw/unpaleo foods into my diet to try and figure out what exactly DOES make me break out. Then I can also know what cooked/processed/modern foods are safe for me to eat without breaking out, and which will cause a breakout. Then at least whatever modern foods do cause me to break out can give me an excuse to give people for me to avoid it, and make it easier to try and stay raw/paleo in public.
How does an egg yolk liver flush work? I already eat raw egg yolks everyday, shouldn't that help clean out my liver then?
Alright, to add to today, I just ate my portion of cheese (about one ounce) with probably a couple spoonfuls of cultured butter. I was having trouble eating my cultured butter before, the taste is a bit off but plain with a bit of sour to it. Couldn't eat much of it at once. Decided to try mixing my cheese with the butter before and see if that helps, by taking a small nibble of cheese and then licking a bit of butter off the spoon, and mashing them together in my mouth with my teeth. Boy did it make a huge difference.. The butter seems to mix well with the cheese, making it creamier and easier to chew up, while I think the salts and sharp taste from the cheese mix into the butter and give it a far better flavour, that tastes really good. Wondering if there's a better way to mix them together before I eat it, so I don't have to wait until I've chewed them together for a bit before it starts tasting really good. I tend to swallow quickly after chewing only a few times, but I'd like to be able to relish the flavour of the butter mixed with the cheese more. Also ate some pineapple a few hours earlier, just a few chunks, finished it off so no more fruits for now. Still have a couple bags of bean-sprouts, so I guess I'll have to start eating those. I'm still a bit hungry, though, so maybe I'll munch on some bean-sprouts later, even though I'd much rather take a few sips of my milk and cream. Why is dairy so good? I was addicted to it already in it's pasteurized form, but now in it's raw form it's even better. Even egg yolks are delicious, and that's basically just chicken milk. I think egg whites might be the first experiment for what cooked/processed/modern foods cause me to break out. I think it's a bit of a waste that I don't eat the main part of the egg whites, and I'd probably be fuller for longer if I ate them too. If I can eat them cooked without breaking out, I might just cook all my egg whites while eating the yolks raw. Actually, getting kind of sleepy now, it's close to my bedtime, so I'll probably just sleep instead of eating anything else tonight. Oh yeah, I seem to be sleeping more now, actually, almost even slept for 12 hours last night. Hoping I can go back to my 6 - 7 hour sleeping, I liked having more time to do stuff. Dunno why I slept for longer though. Oh yeah and today I was feeling kind of out of strength. Not necessarily weak, like I did when I was fasting, but like my muscles aren't very well developed. I tired out easily, though I wasn't out of energy or sleepy. Kind of weird. Should probably start trying to work out more. Hopefully I can finish off that rib-eye..
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http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=180601#i
Egg yoke liver flush
I agree grains are often a problem for the liver on top of everything else
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Lol, I actually found that exact thread before I even found this website, and I think it ultimately led to me finding this place. Didn't know if the mixing was so good though, since most here avoid mixing foods as much as they can.. also haven't been able to find much cold-pressed oils, at least not for cheap.
edit: Also, I would never do an enema.
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Hm, actually haven't felt much hungry yet today, but I'm going to try and eat the rest of my rib-eye anyways.. got work tonight and don't wanna get hungry or sleepy during work. Hopefully won't feel as out of strength today.. also hoping the flank steak tastes better, so that it's easier to eat.. Hm, gonna go drink some milk and cream first though, before I eat my steak.
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you dont have to use oil, it just quickens the cleansing.
I eat a couple of egg yoks with some lemon water as a gentle daily cleanse{keeps things moving good).
Egg yoke with high meat is also a good purging agent.
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Well, I do have about 3/4ths of a lime left that I had bought.. it's kind of been sitting out for a few days without the peel though, so I don't know how good it is, lol. Maybe if I eat it along with my egg yolks, then it will help.
High meat is still a bit difficult for me to eat, I think. The only meat I tried it with was some corn-fed beef, though, so I don't know if grass-fed beef would taste better.. I could probably try highing some of the grass-fed flank steak that I bought if I like the taste of it normally, and see if I like it high, too. It's just going to be rather difficult to make high without stinking out my room and making my dad think I've stashed away a dead body or something. He's a cop, so I know he knows what the smell of dead rotting flesh smells like.
Also, might possibly been able to find some good liver. My health food store emailed me and said they can order some of this:
http://www.organicprairie.coop/products/beef/product/liver-steak-12-oz-frozen/
though it looks like it might be already cooked. I hope not, and if it isn't, then I'll definately be trying some. Seems like it might be part hay-fed though, don't know if that's as bad as grain-fed or corn-fed, but at least it's organic, so that's still better than any of the other livers I've found. Also asked about ordering some grass-fed marrow. Also wondering if I should buy the cheap leg bones from Ralph's and just bury them in the backyard to hide them. A little dirt never hurt anyone, right? I mean, animals do that stuff all the time.
Drank some milk/cream and ate most of my rib-eye steak. Probably won't really eat the scraps I left, but at least I ate as much of it as I could, so maybe I only wastes $3 or $4 instead of $12. Will save the butter/cheese mix for tonight again if I get hungry, as well as the one egg I have left in my room. Dunno if I will be able to sneak more from downstairs, since my dad doesn't work today and might be home the whole time. Gotta get ready for work now though.
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Well if you bury it, just bury it whole and saw it in half when you dig it up.
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Well, the leg bones are already sawed in half lengthwise to expose the marrow. Otherwise I don't think I would buy them because I don't have a saw and I would have no idea how to get to the marrow other than by chewing through the bone myself. Not that I would mind chewing the bone, but it would take entirely too long to do it for one. But there's also the joint-ends which still have some meats and connective tissues and sometimes cartilage i think still attached.. is there any nutritional value from eating cartilage? It all looked very chewable though.
So I've been trying to eat egg yolk and lime at the same time, doesn't seem to be doing much, though, as far as detox I don't feel any different. Gonna try my grass-fed flank steak though, hopefully it's good, and there's also a whole bunch of juice in the package, so much that I wonder if the meat was even ever bled.. I hope it's good and I can just drink all that juice down. >D
Gonna drink my milk first though, it seemed like it might be starting to separate or something so I think I'll try to finish it off.. don't know how much is left though. Then have some cream, too.. maybe work out a bit or sit in the sun.
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Alright so, the grass-fed flank steak had something of a similar taste to the rib-eye, however it was only slight and much easier to eat, actually enjoyable. I was able to eat my entire portion easily. The portions are only about 5 ounces of meat though, as it was a 20 ounce steak and I cut it up into 4 pieces. Only have two eggs left though, so I'm gonna have to figure out how to make my marrow more edible, I'll probably trying heating it just a little bit by running it under warm water to see how I like it then. Gonna stick with the ground beef after this though, since the 20 ounce flank was $20, whereas a pound of ground beef is about $6.. much more affordable, and then I'll be able to portion myself 8 ounces a day. Not much, but I can't afford more. Hopefully I can convince my dad to give me money and let me go grocery shopping, then I can buy a bunch more eggs and organic, too, but I'd also buy more a variety of fruits and have portions of fruit everyday. Water dries my mouth out too much, and fruit will help quench my thirst better.
Been able to bring myself down to two meals a day though, pretty much. One before work, and one after work. Been eating my meat before work lately, to avoid eating only dairy all day, but gonna try to move it down to my after-work meal instead.
so far everyday I've been eating about..
2 or 3 egg yolks
~5 ounces of meat
1 - 2 cups of milk
~2 tablespoons of cream
~1 ounce of cheese
~3 tablespoons of cultured butter
and I think that's about it. Everything's approximate because I don't measure it, like cutting my 8 ounce block of cheese into 8 pieces, so each one's about an ounce.
only have enough milk and eggs left for tomorrow though, so I'll have less to eat on tuesday. At least I don't have work though, so I won't have to be using as much energy anyways. Maybe I'll just finish the milk tomorrow and leave the eggs for tuesday.. since I don't work tomorrow either. Sounds good to me, unless I get hungry.. Maybe I can go shopping on monday or tuesday. if I do, I'll have to add in a third meal of fruit somewhere in the mix.
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Minor issue:- Could you please reduce the size of your sig. That is, no empty lines between various quotations. Also I believe 6 lines is the maximum allowed on most forums.
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Well, the forum I'm most used to visiting allows huge signatures with a bunch of fancy pictures and such, lol so to me my signature is actually quite small, sorry.
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Finished off my milk :( , drank some cream too which seems to be getting maybe a little sour. Also ate my cheese with butter, so I ate all my dairy together, earlier. Oh yeah, I got hungry again last night and ended up munching a bunch of been sprouts before I went to bed, and had a BM when I woke up, which is the only other one I had since the one after my fast, so I'm still not having very many BMs. Probably was the fiber in the bean sprouts I'm guessing, and it wasn't as smooth a BM as last time, but solid and decent. I'm kinda thirsty, but water doesn't seem to be very appealing right now, and hardly thirst quenching, so I'm probably gonna munch on some more bean sprouts.. They're actually kind of addicting, like a bag of chips, I eat a few and then I just can't stop eating them. I don't know why. They're not even very delicious or anything, they taste good but they're more addicting than delicious. Gonna eat some meat later when I get hungry.
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Okay, I think I'm going to stick with meat in my first meal instead. Felt a bit lightheaded today and kind of hungry still. Ate a bag of bean sprouts earlier, and had another BM sometime after, so it's definately causing them. This one was more dry though, but weird because it wasn't entirely solid. Seems the only time I have them though is when I consume high amounts of fiber. Dunno what that means, though.. Does that mean I should continue eating fiber, or it's a bad thing?
Just ate my portion of meat, but I cut off some small pieces to try and make high meat with. Cleaned out a glass jar that I'm going to use for it. Gonna keep the meat at room temperature, and air it out outside whenever my dad isn't home. it's a biggish jar though, with only a very small amount of meat that I'm going to put in, because I don't want to end up wasting a bunch of meat in case I'm unable to gag the high-meat down. Well the jar isn't that big but it's probably going to be about 10% full of meat, 90% air. Hopefully that makes it okay in case I miss airing it out for a day or two if my dad is home. Still pretty hungry though, my flank steak tasted even better today, enough that I might even eat tomorrow's portion too.. I'm craving the meat. And I can go buy some more meat on wednesday too. Hopefully the organic store gets back to me before then about the grass-fed liver, and if it's raw and I can get it, I'll get some liver along with my meat. Gonna have to buy all ground meat from now on though, can't afford the solid steaks. :'(
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I'm craving.. soup.. broth.. something, I'm hungry but I want a soup, something warm and liquidy with beef flavour and spices and herbs or whatever they put in soups to make it flavourful.. and salty.. like top ramen without the noodles.. I wonder if that would be bad to eat, if it would make me break out.. grr, why am I so hungry? I ate a lot today and haven't done anything. Didn't even work out like I've been doing. I never thought I would crave flavourful things so much.
How do you make bone broth? I have some soup bone, but I was just going to eat the marrow out of it. Well I can't make it now, so it's useless. My cravings don't last. Grr, I wish my acne would just go away, no matter what I eat. But I'm afraid to eat anything but raw in case it makes me break out. I want to wait until it is completely cleared up before I experiment to see what makes me break out and what doesn't as far as cooked/processed/modern foods. I need it completely healed before I have my eat whatever days. Having zits pop out on top of acne blemishes that aren't completely healed yet is disastrous. And takes forever to heal again. or go away. I need this crap gone. I know it's going away. It's just taking forever. Maybe if I lay in the sun all day tomorrow, it will help. The sun usually helps it heal much faster. I'm hungry. I wish I could eat the mac and cheeses in the freezer. They're really good.. probably going to eat like 5 of them if I ever have an eat whatever day. If.
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Craving candy and chocolate.. seeing twix commercials makes me want one.. or a cinnabon.. mmmm.. my hips and thighs are aching, I think my period should start soon, I don't know what's taking it so long though. Hoping the cramps won't be as bad while I'm on raw, I really don't want to have to take tylenol for the pain, but judging from how much my hips and lower back ache right now it seems like it will be painful.
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What about making a raw blended soup, or using unprocessed honey? Tomatoes are juicy and go well with honey and lots of foods.
Aajonus would very likely recommend raw red meat and raw mushrooms at this time of the month for you.
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I'm going to try to find honey, but I don't know if I'll be able to find any unheated. I have some honey label "raw wild natural honey" but I have no idea whether it's been heated or not, and there's no comb in it or anything, and no number or anything for me to call and ask, so I stopped eating it. The soup (which I would have liked hot anyways) and candy cravings are gone now though, and I don't like mushrooms. >>
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You don't like raw mushrooms?
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I don't like mushrooms, or vegetables, raw or cooked. Except bean sprouts for some reason, I like eating those, but I hate it because I feel like a horse when I'm eating them. I am not a horse, I eat horses. Not really, I've never tried horse before, but you know.
but mushrooms are gross.
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I don't think I'm going to be able to afford this diet much longer, I have to pay for new brakes for my car, who knows how much that's going to fricken cost, I have to pay $200 for rent, and I'm not making as much money at work, and my money only seems to be going down instead of up, I can't seem to save up anymore money, and $65 for food that barely lasted me a week is too much. This stupid acne is taking too long to heal. I guess I'm just doomed to stay ugly forever. I hate my life. I forgot to try and leave early today to buy myself more food, so I'm either not going to be able to eat today or I'm going to have to eat those stupid mac and cheeses in the freezer. And the fact that my period hasn't been starting despite crampy feelings is concerning me. Maybe my body thinks it's starving, despite how much I've been eating, and isn't letting my period start like how anorexic girls don't get their periods, which means I don't want to go without eating. Whatever, if I had the money, I'd have no problem continuing this diet, but I can't afford this. So.. I'll probably be eating non raw tonight for the first time in a while. Whatever. I don't cuss but right now I just want to say eff it all.
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Your choice.
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I would go back to a cooked diet, better than starving. You should still eat raw meat at least occasionally in addition to your cooked food.
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Not my choice. I don't want to stop eating this way. But I can't afford it. What am I supposed to do? Buy only a little bit of meat that I can afford here and there and starve myself the rest of the time? Steal my food? There's no forests around here, I can't go hunting in the woods for some deer. I've never even seen a deer before in real life, except maybe at a zoo or something. And I already tried fasting for two days and it was horrible, I can't fast like this, I can't go without food. I've already lost weight, and I'm too skinny. I need to gain weight now. As much as I would prefer to gain my weight back by working out and eating a healthy raw paleo diet, I can't afford it. Especially not enough to eat enough food to gain fat weight. I'm not making as much money at work. Things are slow, and half the time they only work me two hours and then send me home. Wow, that makes me a whole 16 dollars, and that's before they even take taxes out. Not to mention the gas it took to drive the 11.8 miles to get to work, then 11.8 miles back home at $3.05+ a gallon. Yeah, I'm totally making bank right there.
I'm not giving into my cravings. Cravings are nothing, I can handle them, I can resist them. My body does not rule my mind. I work making pizzas with people offering me free delicious pizza and free delicious soda all day long, but I don't eat it, no matter how delicious it smells or sounds or looks. I can sit there and stare at it and smell it and think about how delicious it tastes, watch other people eat it, and imagine myself eating it and savouring it without giving into eating it or even taking the slightest bite. Not even a lick. Not even a taste. I am strong-willed. Nothing can break me when I am determined. I may think and talk about it a lot, and those are nice thoughts sometimes, but it doesn't mean I'll give in. Once I finally found raw dairy, I was 100% completely raw for weeks.
I will try to still eat raw at least sometimes. I can afford it every once in a while, just not everyday right now. If my job improves, and I start making more money again, then I will definately go back to this diet, because then I will be able to afford it. But right now, I can't. If I eat SAD, I can eat completely free.
I forgot that I had some high meat I was making though. I haven't aired it out, but it's mostly air so I think it should be fine. It's been sitting at room temperature (probably about 70+ degrees F on average) in my room for two days now I think? Is that high enough to get any effects from it? I'll probably eat it tomorrow. My dad is home now, so I can't eat it right now.
Tonight I'll probably eat some of the cheddar smokies I have in the fridge, these little mini processed precooked hotdog sausage things with cheese in them.. horrible, but it's either that or the mac and cheese or lasagna which are the only things in this house to eat right now that will fill me up at all, and I want to still at least avoid grains as long as I can.. or starve. But I think after eating those, I'll eat the last bag of my bean sprouts and maybe that will push the overcooked processed meat out. Then tomorrow I'll eat my high meat first thing, maybe even leave it out in the sun for a little while if my dad leaves for work before me. Hopefully I can gag it down, and that should help with whatever other junk I might eat. Bleh, I hate this.
Here's to always feeling tired and lazy, sleeping 12 hours a day, stinking everywhere, rotting unclean teeth, being dead of nose and hard of hearing, and covered in acne. Boo. At least I won't get digestion problems like most other people seem to get. I think acne might be worse though.
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The taste and texture of this overcooked and overprocessed meat is no where near as appealing as it used to be when I ate it all the time. It's also no where near as appealing in taste and texture as raw meat, either. But it does feel more solid in my stomach. mmm, toxins. -\
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Woke up after only five hours of sleep? e.e; I thought the cooked meat would make me sleep in. Instead it made me sleep less? Might have to nap again before work. Also, eating the entire bag of bean sprouts didn't cause a BM this time. I think I'll probably end up constipated though, ran out of my fiji water and I don't want to drink tap water. Actually I was dying of thirst yesterday at work and wanted something sweet, bought a fruit juice to drink.. first time I drank anything besides water in a month. It was delicious though, and a decent fruit juice too, if not by raw paleo standards, then definately by SAD standard. It was made from concentrate, but there was nothing but natural ingredients as far as I could tell, no sugar added whatsoever, not even any sort of sweetener, no preservatives. Just the fruit juices. Better than soda. Expensive though, can't keep buying those.. Just got it to avoid buying soda to quench my thirst.
Pretty thirsty now though. But tap water is gross. Don't know what I'll drink..
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I eat raw and cooked meat, but only ZC. My preference is grassfed but I'll also buy organic meat (no antibiotics). I only eat beef raw; I eat cooked pork and lamb and cook my eggs. I also am eating grassfed butter. Stop making this so hard on yourself. Eat cooked and raw meat. Eat a lot of eggs. Don't eat sprouts. If you don't like the taste of vegetables, good.
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If I want meat, I still have to buy it myself, cooked or not. I don't know why you guys think I can just switch to a cooked diet. It's the same difference, I still have to buy everything myself especially if I want grass-fed/organic. My dad only buys commercial stuff, too, so even if I asked him to buy meats, he'd buy grain-fed hormone-infested meat. And I cannot STAND the taste of cooked grain-fed commercial beef steaks, it's disgusting. Hamburger I could probably handle, but it would only be made in things like hamburger helper, which has pasta. Plus he has a busy work schedule. He doesn't even go shopping very often. Good food runs out fast, then there's nothing to eat except bread and junk. If I ask him for food, he tells me to get fast food. Plus he won't even let me eat red meat everyday. When we went on vacation to vegas and all I ate for three days was rare-cooked steaks, a hamburger with cheese but no bun, sunny-side up eggs, more steaks, and some fruit, he told me no more red meat. He said I was eating too much of it and it wasn't good for me. His girlfriend even said so, too, though she defended my right to eat rare steak(whereas my dad wanted me to get the meat more cooked). I wouldn't be allowed to eat that much meat everyday. Unless maybe it was chicken, but chicken is always thoroughly cooked and I would get tired of it anyways, I don't like poultry as much. Best I could probably do is convince him to buy a lot of eggs, maybe even convince him to buy organic free-range eggs. But then he might even have complaints about me eating eggs everyday, with all the crap about them having too much cholesterol. And I don't know if I can live entirely off eggs. As long as I can eat the yolks raw though, I won't tire of them. He would also only buy pasteurized dairy.. maybe only because it's the only kind available though. I don't know what he thinks about raw dairy, as it isn't very common and never comes up in conversations.
I don't like the taste of most vegetables, but what I hate most about them is the texture. They feel completely inedible to me, like trying to eat a piece of wood or a piece of paper. I hate dry foods. Bean sprouts are probably one of the only vegetables I actually do like, because they have a decent taste and are super watery and juicy so it doesn't feel so much like I'm trying to chew on paper. I used to like them best eating them steamed in my steamed white rice with a lot of soy sauce, so my dad still buys them sometimes thinking I still eat rice. Now I only even eat them more as a last resort anyways, when we do have them, if I'm hungry and there's nothing else raw to eat. They aren't very filling though, anyways. Nothing actually makes me feel full except for meats and dairy.
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Also, yesterday I bought a bunch of raw food and just had a binge of trying to eat as much as I could in one day. It was awesome. I ate up all my meat that I was trying to make high, but it had only been sitting out for like a day and a half so it wasn't very high. Still was a bit difficult to eat though. Then I bought and drank 4 cups of milk, ate about 4 ounces of cheese with a few spoonfuls of butter, bought a couple fruit containers and ate a few chunks of watermelon, slices of green and yellow/red apples, a few grapes, a few chunks of pineapple, and a bunch of strawberries. They were all delicious. Then I also had a pound of ground beef, but I could only eat half of it. I was so full. I felt like I probably gained 10 lbs. Even though when I try to add it all up it doesn't seem like a lot of food really. But I still spent like $30 - $40 on food for one day. I wish I could eat like that everyday.. as much as that cost though, I'd have to try and make that much food last me a week instead of one day. I wish I was rich. Dairy actually probably costs me the most, but I don't have any other good sources of fat. I wish it was easier to find cheap organic grass-fed fat. Then maybe I could still afford this diet. Well, at least I had some leftover food which seems like it will last me well enough for today too, so I don't quite have to stop eating raw yet. Gotta leave for work now though.
edit: Also seem to have just started my period too finally, without any cramps either. Very interested to see how this goes, my first period while still on raw.
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You're the one who's deciding you have to spend $40 on raw food a day. I spend like £3-8/day..
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On what? There's nothing I can buy that will keep me full and nourished all day that I can buy for only that much.
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I don't understand. If raw dairy is so expensive in the US, judging from numerous accounts, then it should be ditched.
I have found numerous ways in the past to cut down on the cost of raw foods:- either
a) Intermittent Fasting(ie 1 large raw meal a day)
b) Eat plenty of raw organ-meats as they are commonly much cheaper than raw muscle-meats.
c) Avoid all cooked/processed foods. Cooked foods contain addictive opioids in them and often make one want to eat far more therefore than in the case of a RVAF diet. I always feel fuller quicker if eating raw, without extra sauces.
d) Cut down on raw carbs. The more raw carbs I've eaten, the higher my appetite is, so 2% or less of the diet as raw fruit is fine(as long as you don't have issues with VLC, of course).
e) Your dad does seem to be a problem re the raw issue. Perhaps you can get round that somehow via juicing, but really good, competent juicers are bloody expensive(twin-gear juicers that is). Or if you could find a company that sells genuine raw jerky, that might be a way round. But the real solution would be to get your own place, eventually.
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I was using dairy because I haven't been able to find a better source of fat. Plus it is delicious. But I know that shouldn't be a reason to keep it at all. But I was mostly using it for the fat, and hoped to phase it out once and if I found a better source of fat. Which I still haven't really found. Grass-fed anything seems to be pretty difficult for me to find..
a) Intermittent fasting is difficult for me, as I usually get hungry often, especially now that I've been sleeping less. But, I had managed to get down to only two meals a day, though, but I would still get hungry in the middle of the day or late at night sometimes. I was eventually going to try to get it down to just one meal, though, but it's difficult because if I don't eat before work, I'd sometimes end up feeling weak and tired, plus there is the temptation of eating free pizza at work if I get super hungry(like, light-headed hungry). And then working always works up an appetite, so I'm hungry again after work, too. I was going to try to fast for two days a week, or maybe even three if I could, to try to save money, but doing so left me feeling so extremely weak and tired that I decided I wasn't going to fast again for a while. I think I needed more time to adjust to this diet first.
b) The ONLY organ meats I could find are grain-fed commercial beef liver and commercial (foster farms brand) chicken livers, which I am afraid to try either of them because they're probably from hormone-infested tortured sick animals and gross tasting too. Might possibly have found a source of organic frozen grass-fed beef liver, but I'm waiting for a reply email from the store, because it might be pre-cooked and I have to order it.
Although, the store did also sell whole chickens, which might possibly have all the organs still inside, though I doubt it but I'm not sure I'd have to ask and also check the price.. But I'm quite a bit more afraid to eat raw chicken than raw beef, as far as food poisoning and such.. It's organic free-range chickens though, so I'm sure it's better, but do you happen to have any info on what possible illnesses I could get from raw chicken and raw chicken organs, and what the risks of getting sick from eating any of the meat or organs is? I haven't done much research on it. I don't think I would ever eat commercial raw chicken though, so I would only even try organic free-range. Also I don't think I know how to cut up a whole chicken properly, and would either have to do it from my car, or wait until my dad wasn't home to do it in the kitchen, and then keep everything stored in my cooler in my room...
c) I was eating 100% raw foods with no additives of sauces or spices whatsoever, other than the salt which was in the cheese, but I couldn't find unsalted raw cheese or else I would have got it. I never even liked sauces or spices or anything when I ate SAD, I always preferred my foods plain and bland(and undercooked too), I never even added salt or pepper to any of my foods, even eggs or potatoes, so I definately wouldn't add them after changing to raw. Avoiding cooking and adding spices was eeeaaasy for me.
d) I did try to keep my carbs down as much as possible. I did eat fruit sometimes, but then we'd run out and I'd go days without any fruit at all, so then I was only getting carbs from the eggs and other dairy.. so it wasn't much. I don't think I have issues with VLC, though I would get tired sometimes, and I was feeling a bit weak for a while but I think that was because of my 2 day fast.. either that, or I just wasn't eating enough, because I've felt much stronger the passed couple days but I ate a lot the other day so that might have helped. What sort of issues would I have with VLC?
e) My dad isn't much of an issue when I buy all the food myself, but it becomes harder when he's the one who buys all the food. It would be nice if I could move out and get my own place, but I can't even afford to buy my own food let alone buy a house or afford more rent. I had actually hoped to start saving up as much money as I could for a start on saving up for a down payment on something, but then I decided I would have to cut into that savings to instead invest in my diet and health.. but now things are so slow at work that I'm losing my money and can't even afford to invest in just my food. This should however, only be temporary, so I SHOULD be changing stores (if they ever finish construction on the store I'm SUPPOSED to be working at) to a closer and better area and better manager and hopefully more hours and making more money then, and when I do then I will definately be able to better afford this diet a lot more easily. But until then right now, I might have to temporarily revert back to SAD so that I don't starve.
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Eat cheap-cuts of quality raw grain-finished beef, and get your fat from the same place?
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You need to stick up for yourself or move out. My body comes first and yours should as well. I would eat a ton of grainfed beef raw with some grassfed Kerrygold--better than eating watermelon and sprouts.
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corn-fed at least tastes better than regular grain-fed.. I think I can get some decent corn-fed beef for somewhat cheap, and also the grass-fed ground beef isn't that bad of price, but last time I ate commercial raw grain-fed beef, it started to taste nasty after a few minutes once it started to turn a little brown. Cooking it also makes it taste disgusting. As far as fat, I haven't found anyplace that just has straight fat, but I'll have to ask around a bit more. Even commercial grain-fed fat should taste good to me as long as I can warm it up a bit, although I'm not to sure about how healthy it might be for me, pumped full of grains and hormones.
And sticking up for myself doesn't work if the people think I am insane or will cause myself to become seriously ill or possibly die by eating raw meat. And if I can't even afford to buy my own food, what makes you people think I can afford to move out?
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I would eat a ton of grainfed beef raw with some grassfed Kerrygold--better than eating watermelon and sprouts.
You're lucky you can go for the Kerrygold. That's pasteurized by me. I'd have to go for the watermelon for my calories and hydration :(
Yeah, a lean cut of wrongly fed beef shouldn't do you harm. It isn't as nutritious. Do your best.
If you go early in the mornings to your local butcher, he might give you grass fed fat trimmings maybe even free.
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Much of the commercial mince in this country at least is laced with chemicals. Preservatives, or the stuff used to clean the mincer I don't know, but it is terrible. Maybe that was the problem with your commercial grain-fed beef, if it was mince. This stuff is only on mince though...
No raw beef would taste horrible though, no matter what it's fed, if it is just beef and no chemicals(like in some mince) and it is fresh or aged properly. There would be a different taste, but if it would actually taste horrible, then there was something else wrong with it. Raw grain-fed, corn-fed, grain-finished beef and grass-finished would all taste nice, just different, and of course the grass-finished should be the best for you, and will probably taste the best too. But if the meat has been looked after properly, they will all taste nice, just in varying degrees... Best place for low-cost and well looked after meats would be a supermarket that has a butcher in store. Then you get it freshly cut there, there is a fast-turnover so the meat is fresher, the prices are good. I don't know if you get that in the USA though.
There are some other good suggestions here too though. Make your base first. Make sure you can always get all the meat you need, then whilst you're comfortably getting your meat that you can afford, try to get free or cheap fat(if you desire it).. trimmings or whatever. Once you are comfortable that you can always get your meat, and your fat, you can then work to improve. e.g. to get a higher proportion of grass-finished meat and fat from animals. Only if you're comfortably getting your meat/fat(fat from animal), then you can add some things which are not important, like your raw dairy, or fruits... But they are not important, so only even think about them once you are comfortable in getting the important stuff. Also you can add in organs at the same time as you are trying to increase proportion of grass-finished, as you may waste your money which you need for your staples (meat/fat) if you don't eat them all.
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here is my sincerest opinions:
People are totally right in their suggestions about more independence and other things, but of course, they don't understand your situation because they are not you.
If I was in your shoes (and I have been) I would.
1.) Scale back on your dietary goals. You clearly don't have all the tools and resources at your disposal to make this thing work 100% for you right now, so instead of any periodic compromises and thoughts of total failure or binging I would just lower the bar from the get go. right now its like instead of taking a plate out of the cupboard, you are taking out like 10 plates and balancing them on all your appendages. i.e. try to keep the variables down and move forward consistently and comfortably always knowing what at least the next week or so entails without questioning.
2.) Have a conversation with your dad about diet and how you believe it will help your issues. Don't cite anything about raw specifically or any other thing you think won't go over well on the first go round.
3.) Volunteer to take over all the shopping which will save him time and you will have at least slightly more to budget towards food. If he buys alot of prepared foods (cut fruits seem like a poor buy) volunteer to make healthy meals. meats, salads, vegetables etc... buy simple things like breads pastas as compliments (for him) etc..if you don't want to make other complicated things. Make it clear that you want to eat a non grain diet etc... but you'd like to both start eating better while staying within that budget by cutting down on some of the other crap you used to eat. All else fails bring home pizza.
4.) Scaling back on your ideal, and the above will already work towards this, but sooner or later if you don't do this and still choose to eat all raw, you are going to have to tell dad. the eating in your room/hiding shit will sooner or later raise a huge suspicion of an eating disorder, and it practically is.
5.) As much as I hate to agree, raw dairy is an economic nightmare for this diet, except butter which works out at least to be far cheaper per calorie than muscle meats, but certainly not fats like suet or even marrow if you can source it locally. If you are really die-hard about sticking to all raw in your situation and driving phobias, your choice seems to be delivery from US wellness or Northstar Bison. I think USW doesn't have much of a minimum. The diet should be very feasible on 8-20$ a day, unless you are well off and can afford wild blueberries at 6$ a pint or WF scallops at 20$ a lb!
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hope this isn't too harsh but I'll give my well intentioned good luck to you.
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I think that KD's advice is very good.
If you talk to your dad about diet, I suggest that you only explain cooked paleo, and don't mention raw at all. If he dismisses cooked paleo as "nonsense" or "fad diet", or tells you that "cavemen died in their 30-ies", then point him to the work of Loren Cordain (a respected scientist) (http://www.thepaleodiet.com/). Loren wrote a book specifically about curing acne with paleo diet. (http://www.dietaryacnecure.com/).
To reduce the cost of a paleo diet:
Talk to butchers, and ask for beef scraps/trimmings/organs, or old meat that's past it's sell-by date, for your "dog". If the beef isn't organic/natural/grassfed, then in my experience, heart and tongue and marrow taste OK, but liver and kidney are unpalatable. Tongue is a very good source of fat.
Don't buy expensive cuts like rib steak. Instead, buy cheap cuts with lots of fat, such as blade steak/roast and brisket. When I started raw paleo and didn't yet know any grassfed sources, I lived on brisket, ground beef, bone marrow, and organs, (from a conventional butcher), eggs, and a bit of fruit.
Buy cheap fruit such as bananas, instead of expensive fruit such as berries and watermelon. Also, see if you can find wild berry bushes, or apple trees, or other fruit near where you live. Eating a lot of fruit stimulates your appetite and makes you more hungry (as has been pointed out by Tyler). But eating no fruit at all (zero carb) dramatically increases your meat requirements, especially if you exercise. I think that 2-4 bananas a day (30-60 grams carbs) is a good middle ground.
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I haven't been able to find ANY actual butchers, let alone a butcher of grass-fed meat. There's the "butcher" (if you could call them that) in the meat section of a few grocery stores, but they only have grain-fed commercial hormone-infested meat, nothing organic or grass-fed whatsoever. And they don't get the whole cow or anything, so I can't exactly ask them for random odds and ends or scraps. I'm pretty sure they only get what they can sell.
I don't know what you mean by mince. Is that ground? The only ground beef I eat raw is the 100% grass-fed. A long time ago (before I even know this diet existed) I bought some regular beef (not ground) from the "butcher" section of our normal grocery store (stater brothers http://staterbros.com/Top-Menu/Departments/Meat.aspx?openMenu=cmslistmenu_UL_2 and the meat is regular grain-fed hormone-treated commercial meat I'm sure) and as soon as I got back to my car I started eating it. It was good at first, but then after a minute or so of eating it the meat started to turn brown and get a nasty taste and I couldn't continue eating it. It tasted rotten to me. I mean, it could just have been getting slightly high and I was unable to handle the stronger taste back then, but it had the same bad taste as the meat gets when it's cooked, and I have never been able to eat cooked steak from the grocery store(no matter what grocery store it was), even though I absolutely LOVE steak, always have and it's always been my favourite food. From restaurants. But if it was steak from the grocery store, I couldn't eat it cooked. If it was raw and fresh it tasted good, but as soon as it got a little brown it was gross. I haven't tried eating the meat from the grocery store again after that, though. I don't know if I could handle the taste of it better now that I'm more used to eating raw meat and such. I do know that the corn-fed beef from fresh&easy which is claimed not to be treated with hormones (but it isn't certified organic or anything.) tastes good to me, so I can go back to buying that meat.. especially now that I have a cooler and can store the meat for longer. And I don't think it was that expensive, and it's right across the street from my work. The fat is what I've had a hard time finding, and is mostly why I had the dairy in my diet. Marrow doesn't seem to be appetizing to me at all for some reason, I don't know why. Maybe I could try marrow again, and just mix it into my ground beef or something though.. I don't know. I think I'd rather get fat trimmings though, if I can find them. I know at least grain-fed fat always tasted good to me no matter what, though when it was cooked. I can at least warm it up a bit, like no more than 100 degrees F or something, but at least nice and warm.
KD, I don't know what you mean by scaling back on my dietary goals.. unless I either don't eat as much, or eat partly SAD, I don't see how I could scale back/lower the bar. I don't get what you mean by that?
Telling my dad is something I'd rather avoid until I have SOME sort of proof of it being better. I was going to try to wait until my acne cleared up, which would be the most noticeable and convincing proof for him, to tell him that I got rid of it by changing what I ate, and telling him then about what I eat. Except maybe avoiding the raw meat part. Or at least mostly telling him I did it by stopping eating bread/grains. That would probably be the easiest way to get him to accept such a large change in my diet. Possibly even convince him to follow it as well, I'm not sure. The problem is, I need my acne to actually clear up, which it's been rather stubborn in doing so. It's probably going to take a long while.
I had already planned to try to take over the shopping though, but it's been difficult because I've been rather busy lately, and I'm also starting school this week. Good news is that I did just worked a bunch of hours yesterday and today at work, so that should help make up for all the 2 hour days I had. Bad news is that it made me so busy I was unable to get to the store to buy myself any food, and ended up eating some pizza. Luckily it hasn't caused me any stomach problems or too much adverse effects like it seems to do with most others on this raw diet who cheat, but unfortunately I am starting to get a little bit of a headache right now, and I think I gained some fat, and I'm hoping this doesn't poorly affect the muscles I've been building up. Oh yeah and I ended up getting some pretty bad cramps while at work yesterday, and had to take some tylenol. I'm really wanting to get back to eating raw as soon as possible though, and I'm hoping that tomorrow I can stop by the store before I get to school but I'm not sure how close on time I'm going to be, I'm supposed to get my brakes fixed tomorrow before class then I need to leave early enough to find my classes too, before class starts, and then have time to stop by the store and get food and eat, and it's already 2am and I don't know what time I'm going to wake up, and yeah, I don't know. Maybe can get my brakes fixed tuesday, my only day off this week, but then I also want to try to convince my dad to let me go grocery shopping on tuesday, which won't work as well if he ends up going with me, but oh well. I don't know, we'll see.
As far as an eating disorder suspicions, I don't see how that can come up much, I mostly only sneak my raw food eating when he's not home, and as long as I don't look like I've become anorexic or anything I should be fine. If he thinks I'm not eating I could say I eat at work/school and such, and as long as I'm not bone-skinny, that should be easy to believe.
The raw butter did seem pretty cheap, but the butter I got was raw cultured butter, and wasn't very appetizing actually. I was only able to eat it all by chewing it up in my mouth with a bit of cheese, which gave it a much better flavour and made it much easier to eat. I don't know if the regular raw butter would taste any better plain than the cultured butter, and I'm afraid to buy it and have the same problem with eating it then have to end up buying cheese too just so I can get my butter down.
Delivery won't work as far as my dad finding out that I'm eating raw meat.
Eggs and fruit I can get my dad to buy, so I don't have to worry as much about spending my money on those. I just need to get him to buy more of it at once, because he'll only buy like a dozen eggs and then they only last me like 3 or 4 days, and he doesn't go shopping again for weeks. I like eating fruit for hydration, especially if I'm going to cut out milk. I've noticed these passed couple days that I haven't had much fruit and no milk I've felt very thirsty, even though I'm drinking water. Water doesn't always seem to quite quench my thirst that thoroughly, and a bit of fruit everyday I think would help. Bananas aren't very hydrating, and I can only eat them when they're fully yellow and with a bit of brown, no green whatsoever, and I don't think you can even buy bananas that aren't green, so I would have to wait forever for them to ripen before eating them. Then, my dad would only buy like one bunch which would have only like 6 bananas on it, and then even if I only ate one a day it wouldn't last me a week, because he eats fruit too. Better just to let him buy a whole bunch of different fruits, so it'll last longer.
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by scaling down, I meant eating a clean paleo/primal diet, no cheats, no medications, some raw foods, some clean foods you prepare yourself. This will be far more effective as a long term detox/transition to any starts and stops on a more 'pure' diet, and I can almost guarantee will be quicker healing to your acne. If the former is still not workable scale back even further to the popular 80/20 ie. 20% of the time maximum for non-paleo/primal foods, although my personal belief is that mixing raw meats with that is fairly problematic.
I'm still confused as to why any meat left in your fridge or delivered is automatically assumed eaten raw, particularly if its so easy to not account for what you are eating otherwise. Is there no stove or cookware in your house? I think the last thing people will assume when you get a box of meat is that you are going to open it up and eat it. Just my opinion. I think this is also why preparing/sharing some clean paleo meals with pops is probably a good idea.
cultured raw butter is the best in all aspects, they all taste like crap IMO, even from the absolute best Amish farms. I always find it ironic/not-believable when people say they find dairy addictive, as they certainly must mean milk or cheese. Butter has a harder taste than suet for me, its just physically easier to eat, can be bought unfrozen (making it very hydrating) and lasts longer in the fridge.
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I was already eating a 100% raw paleo/primal diet with no cheats whatsoever though? I still don't know what you mean by scaling down. Do you mean by adding cooked paleo foods? Because that still would make no difference, I'd still have to pay the same amount of money, except for pasteurized dairy I could get my dad to buy but I'd rather have that raw. I never take medications except for tylenol when I get menstrual cramps, but only because I get them so bad that they would leave me curled up in a ball unable to do anything except squirm in pain and cry, and I can't do anything else more natural to relieve the pain. Heating pads and such are completely useless. And even then I always wait to take the tylenol until the pain starts to become unbearable, hoping that maybe they won't get that bad.. which my mom always got angry at me about, saying I should take the tylenol as soon as I felt anything. But I hate taking them, and I hate taking any medicines, I won't even take nyquil when I have a cold, the rare times I get one, let alone take anything that was stronger or prescription. As far as mixing raw paleo and cooked/non-paleo foods, I don't mix them on the same day.
As far as meat in the fridge being eaten raw, my dad knows I WANT to eat my meat raw, because I have always wanted to eat my meat raw loooooong before I ever found out about this diet, have always drooled over raw meats whenever I saw them when I was younger, always gotten my steaks cooked as rare as my dad would let me. If any meat disappears that he personally didn't see cooked, especially without any evidence of having been cooked such as dirty dishes, he'll know I ate it raw. And he's already told me "NO RAW MEAT." basically saying it's one of the rules of the house, aka I must follow it if I don't want to be kicked out. I'm a horrible liar, too, so if I came under suspicion and he started asking me questions I wouldn't be able to lie very well.
and I'm actually surprised I disliked the taste of the raw cultured butter, because I have always liked the taste of butter, but then that was pasteurized and salted butter, or even sometimes maybe margarine, hard to tell sometimes. Salt would probably help the taste a lot, but I don't want to have to add salt to be able to eat it.
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ok, so, this is gonna seem maybe off topic. your problems are spiritual, emotional, and mental in regards to the kinds of relationships you have with yourself and with others (your father, etc.).
it may seem weird or "too difficult" but that is psychic pressure and brainwashing from years of a certain kind of abuse. and yes, it is abuse and you have agreed to be abused in this way. why? perhaps out of fear of survival or not being loved, whatever. you know your own truths and reasons.
basically, your issues are NOT dietary or physical. they are more subtle and are causing this stress to manifest in the physical realm.
there are solutions, always. and ethical, compassionate ways of ending or transforming relationships. this starts with your self-relationship. discovering and exploring your personal values and boundaries and then communicating them honestly with others in ways that empower you.
its not about telling other people what to do or not do, but more about being at cause yourself and choosing better and better choices. this is a skill like any other and takes time and practice. it can be confusing and scary, but so is learning how to ride a bike at first.
there are lost of teachings to help you, byron katie, tony robbins, deepak chopra, non-violent communication, michael beckwith... download audiobooks from the net and immerse yourself in healing practices. the more you take care of yourself and your specific needs (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical needs) the better your life results will become.
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I was already eating a 100% raw paleo/primal diet with no cheats whatsoever though? I still don't know what you mean by scaling down.
yeah, I think we have a different concept of what that means. I see raw steak (conservative estimate) as far as 2 week ago - a month and a mish-mash of confused eating habits, cravings, and cheats otherwise. Nothing particularly abnormal about that, but my suggestion is still to get some kind of stability in your approach until you have more financial and emotional independence. Assuming the circumstances stay the same, I'm thinking more like 1 year on grain free/processed-free diet sounds like the better goal. Particularly considering you were not on your death bed prior to initiating this 'diet', I disagree that this 'makes no difference'. My experience was that although yes indeed meat costs remain the same, most people waste tons of money on foods you could replace with healthier and cheaper options, granted ones that don't have much relevance by raw paleo standards, but an improvement for most folks. If he's happy with the arrangement, maybe you'd have more money left over to spend on meat, and you could keep your own funds going to any kinds of raw foods like organs, bones, and fats and such you know he will not eat and which are also really cheap. If you are that close to LA, certainly there should be a way to acquire really quality grass-fed materials easier than 95% of people on this site, which is again where stability and tackling any phobias or whatever will work alot better towards your long term goals than any short spurts on random raw you can scavenge. I don't think hiding some raw stuff from dad is bad, but I highly suspect this will become even less workable real soon.
I think people tend to put butter on stuff, which is why it has that appeal. I have to assume even salted pasteurized butter gets pretty gross housing a third to half a lb per day (or more) on its own. I find 1/4-1/3 lb palatable with raw red meats (buffalo, goat, beef) or fish, but impossible to eat a substantial amount with cooked meat ironically.
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dsohei, I don't get what you're trying to tell me. Do you mean about telling my dad about eating raw? Or what? I'm sorry, I don't understand how anything you said has anything to do with my situation. x.x;
KD, I never cheated on my 100% raw after I found raw dairy, until after I found out I had to pay for new brakes for my car and saw that I wasn't going to be able to afford buying myself food anymore a couple days ago, and then had nothing to eat. I had some cravings, but I never acted on them. I even stopped eating the "raw wild natural honey" that I had bought because I wasn't sure if it was unheated at all. I was actually afraid almost the point of paranoia of eating anything that wasn't 100% raw for fear of breaking out more, after so much of my acne had been going away. I still broke out anyways though, even on 100% raw. What I was eating might have been a bit all over the place, but it was still at least 100% raw which should be better than the pizza and frozen tv dinners and processed overcooked sausages and high amounts of pasteurized dairy I had previously been consuming and which are mostly the only things to eat in this house.
L.A. I have actually never really been to, I have no idea how to get there, all I know is that it's probably about an hour or two away and would cost me a lot of gas to get there, and I'm also a little scared that I'll get shot up if I go there. Also my car is tiny (like go-kart sized) and old (almost as old as I am) and doesn't do well on freeways, everytime I drive on the freeway something goes wrong with my car. I don't have any phobias except of spiders. And sometimes the dark, but only if I'm inside a house. I don't see how tackling spiders would help me. Unless I ate them which is impossible, uuugh I shudder just to think of saying it.
But yeah, prior to starting this diet I spent $0 on food whatsoever. zero. zip. nada. zilch. nothing at all. not one single penny. I got free pizza and free soda at work, my dad kept food in the fridge most of the time, though mostly breads, pastas, rice, and such, and if we did run out of food at home he'd bring home fast food. I didn't have to spend anything at all on food. If I'm going to spend my money on food, I don't want to spend it on only half-healthy foods. and I can only get for free what I can convince my dad to buy. If I eat just grain/processed-free, what am I going to eat? I can't live off vegetables and fruit. I'd just end up eating the same way I'm eating now.
and 1/3 to 1/2 pound of butter a day is a lot. I bought a big tub of 1 lb of raw cultured butter, and only ate a couple spoonfuls a day with my cheese. I wouldn't be able to eat 1/3 or 1/2 of the tub in one day! plus that's too expensive to be eating THAT much butter, it wasn't that cheap.
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I ate raw today, 4 cups of milk, 2 lbs of grapes, and 1 lb of ground beef. Cost me $20. Now my dad just brought me home fast food, ugh, but I feel bad for saying I don't want to eat it when he bought it for me. and I'm hungry now, too. I hate this. Why can't eating raw meat be normal?
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My raw diet cost about 10 dollars a day and its cheaper than the organic vegtable crap I used to eat. I buy in bulk 40 pounds of pasture beef 110 dollars last me 3 weeks, Then I top it off with little extras like a pack of marrow a week , a jar of coconut butter, lemons, and occasional sea food or road kill.
Don't get discoraged get resourceful you may have to tell your dad about you diet in order to save money buy finding bulk sources,
We are often enthusiastic in telling people the wonders of paleo but leave newbies lacking on some details, like how Paramount it is to get ultra clean high quality food which may be too expensive to obtain, don't get discoraged and by any means don't eat supermarket franken feed meat, go foraging find a hunter and take his scraps, scavenge if possible.
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Did you not read my post?
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ok, I think we just disagree on what will be the most healthy lifestyle. To me, this includes a balance of the micros with the macro rather than some kind of refinement of one a single micro. On the surface, yes eating less crap seems to be a huge improvement over tons of crap, and 100% raw would always be better than any other approach. If it were really that simple then everyone who started a RAF diet (or even restricted veganism and other such things) would certainly be in increasing health without any issues and focusing on perfection of their diet for the rest of their life. As for the butter thing, that is also fairly relative. I was really just speaking about how many people see it as a condiment so it appears more palatable. When eaten as a 'food' its fairly less appealing. At the same time 1/2 lb is 'only' 1600 cals, so for someone who otherwise has no animal fat at their disposal, is actually not a whole lot unfortunately.
hopefully you can get more advice from others towards your specific concerns if this still isn't helpful.
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Grapes are super high in fructose. Why should you feel bad about not eating what someone bought you? It's not that person's body! I get offered food all the time, but I never eat anything not ZC, and then I never eat anything except at the times I eat. My body is my temple and my hobby. I wouldn't want to look like those offering me food and won't start eating like them either.
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My raw diet cost about 10 dollars a day and its cheaper than the organic vegtable crap I used to eat. I buy in bulk 40 pounds of pasture beef 110 dollars last me 3 weeks, Then I top it off with little extras like a pack of marrow a week , a jar of coconut butter, lemons, and occasional sea food or road kill.
Don't get discoraged get resourceful you may have to tell your dad about you diet in order to save money buy finding bulk sources,
We are often enthusiastic in telling people the wonders of paleo but leave newbies lacking on some details, like how Paramount it is to get ultra clean high quality food which may be too expensive to obtain, don't get discoraged and by any means don't eat supermarket franken feed meat, go foraging find a hunter and take his scraps, scavenge if possible.
Yeah, I'm trying to avoid supermarket meat, I won't be able to convince my dad to let me eat raw meat though, he doesn't even want to let me eat rare-cooked steaks and has already said NO RAW MEAT. I also can't find any hunters, there isn't even much deer around here or anything, like I stated somewhere earlier in this thread, I've never even seen a deer in real life before, unless it was at a zoo or something. Road kill I am afraid to scavenge, because all the roads around here are busy, and I think I'd draw too much attention if people are driving by watching me scrape a smushed rabbit off the road. Plus I don't know if it's illegal or not here, I know in some places it's illegal to scavenge roadkill. Plus I doubt the animals around here have that much better of a diet than the grain-fed supermarket cows. There isn't much foliage in this area other than dead-grass yellow hills and fields that only turn green in the spring.
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Did you not read my post?
Yes, I read your post, this was my reply to you:
I don't know what you mean by mince. Is that ground? The only ground beef I eat raw is the 100% grass-fed. A long time ago (before I even know this diet existed) I bought some regular beef (not ground) from the "butcher" section of our normal grocery store (stater brothers http://staterbros.com/Top-Menu/Departments/Meat.aspx?openMenu=cmslistmenu_UL_2 and the meat is regular grain-fed hormone-treated commercial meat I'm sure) and as soon as I got back to my car I started eating it. It was good at first, but then after a minute or so of eating it the meat started to turn brown and get a nasty taste and I couldn't continue eating it. It tasted rotten to me. I mean, it could just have been getting slightly high and I was unable to handle the stronger taste back then, but it had the same bad taste as the meat gets when it's cooked, and I have never been able to eat cooked steak from the grocery store(no matter what grocery store it was), even though I absolutely LOVE steak, always have and it's always been my favourite food. From restaurants. But if it was steak from the grocery store, I couldn't eat it cooked. If it was raw and fresh it tasted good, but as soon as it got a little brown it was gross. I haven't tried eating the meat from the grocery store again after that, though. I don't know if I could handle the taste of it better now that I'm more used to eating raw meat and such. I do know that the corn-fed beef from fresh&easy which is claimed not to be treated with hormones (but it isn't certified organic or anything.) tastes good to me, so I can go back to buying that meat.. especially now that I have a cooler and can store the meat for longer. And I don't think it was that expensive, and it's right across the street from my work. The fat is what I've had a hard time finding, and is mostly why I had the dairy in my diet. Marrow doesn't seem to be appetizing to me at all for some reason, I don't know why. Maybe I could try marrow again, and just mix it into my ground beef or something though.. I don't know. I think I'd rather get fat trimmings though, if I can find them. I know at least grain-fed fat always tasted good to me no matter what, though when it was cooked. I can at least warm it up a bit, like no more than 100 degrees F or something, but at least nice and warm.
Eggs and fruit I can get my dad to buy, so I don't have to worry as much about spending my money on those.
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ok, I think we just disagree on what will be the most healthy lifestyle. To me, this includes a balance of the micros with the macro rather than some kind of refinement of one a single micro. On the surface, yes eating less crap seems to be a huge improvement over tons of crap, and 100% raw would always be better than any other approach. If it were really that simple then everyone who started a RAF diet (or even restricted veganism and other such things) would certainly be in increasing health without any issues and focusing on perfection of their diet for the rest of their life. As for the butter thing, that is also fairly relative. I was really just speaking about how many people see it as a condiment so it appears more palatable. When eaten as a 'food' its fairly less appealing. At the same time 1/2 lb is 'only' 1600 cals, so for someone who otherwise has no animal fat at their disposal, is actually not a whole lot unfortunately.
hopefully you can get more advice from others towards your specific concerns if this still isn't helpful.
Well, I never had any major health issues other than my acne even when I was on a fully SAD diet, so even an unbalanced raw diet is helpful to me I think. I had previously cut back on the amount of crap I was eating, such as stopping eating fast food, stopped drinking soda and started drinking vitamin waters or fruit juices instead (since I couldn't stand the taste of water, I needed something at least a little sweet, and since I rarely ate candies/chocolates/cakes/cookies/icecream/desserts/sweets if at all, I figured a little sugary drink was fine and better than eating candies and ice cream too, especially if there was vitamins in it.) and I was eating "healthier" though that included things like bread (I've only ever eaten whole wheat, the "healthier" bread, my whole life, I always HATED white bread) and rice and pasteurized milk(also only ever drank whole milk, which I felt was "healthier" and HATED skim/lowfat/nonfat). But THAT change in diet had no effect whatsoever on how I felt as far as energy levels, my sleeping habits, or on my acne at all. Whereas changing to 100% raw completely changed everything, even as unbalanced as I've been eating.
And yeah, I really need to find a good fat source, better than dairy. Gonna check tomorrow at some stores.
Thanks for the suggestions.
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Grapes are super high in fructose. Why should you feel bad about not eating what someone bought you? It's not that person's body! I get offered food all the time, but I never eat anything not ZC, and then I never eat anything except at the times I eat. My body is my temple and my hobby. I wouldn't want to look like those offering me food and won't start eating like them either.
I find fruit to be delicious, and not very harmful when included to my diet. I like them best to help with hydration, but they also help to add an extra meal in there to keep me from getting too hungry all day, even though fruit doesn't fill me up at all. It's more like drinking water. But it helps for now while I can't afford a lot of meat and I can't find any good or inexpensive sources of fat. I'm going to work on trying to find a better fat source though, even if I have to get grain-fed fat trimmings from commercial meat at the supermarket.
And I feel bad because I've gotten mad at him before for not bringing me home food (when I used to eat SAD) and now I get mad at him for bringing me home food? When he decided to be thoughtful and figured I was hungry and went and bought some food for me? Yet I scorn his gift? I felt really bad for doing that.
And as far as your body looks, judging from your pictures you and I have almost the same looking body except that I am perhaps not as muscular as you only because I do not work out as much as you, but if I worked out as much as you I could look like you even while eating a completely SAD diet. So how if I looked the same as you want to look and yet here I was eating candy bars and bread and rice and steamed bean sprouts and toast with jam and other cooked non-zero carb foods and offered you some? Lol. Not everyone who offers me bad foods looks bad themselves, either. Just saying, though. I didn't eat the fast food my dad bought me, I just felt bad that he was thoughtful and spent the money to get it for me and I just scorned it. I also hate to waste food as well as money, so not only did it feel bad personally, but it felt wasteful on top of that, too.
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Alright, went shopping with my dad today, yay. Got 3 dozen (shoulda got 4 but oh well, I didn't want my dad to think I was crazy) organic free-range brown chicken eggs, and a whole bunch of fruit. Gonna go to the stores tomorrow and ask about fat trimmings or other fat sources I can get. Possibly going to buy some liver, too, even though it will be non-organic commercial grain-fed liver, but I really want the iron and nutrients from it. Stupid health store still never got back to me about ordering the frozen organic liver.
edit: Also, while I was at the store, I suggested to my dad to try buying meat, but he said no. So there, I tried! but he won't get it. I don't even like that meat anyways though. But walking by all the raw meat always makes me hungry..
Spent $500 fricken dollars to get new brakes and new rotors or whatever. Stupid brakes. That's a lot of money, and more than I expected to pay even. I'm really hoping this doesn't break me, and make me completely unable to afford buying myself any meat. I want to stay raw!!
I'm also going to start cooking my egg whites. I can't afford to just keep wasting them anymore. I'll still eat the yolks raw, but I'm going to cook the whites at least just enough to barely solidify them (but still runny) and make them not quite so slimy anymore and able for me to eat them. I'm hoping I can try to work myself up to eating whole eggs raw, though. I know at least I HAVE been getting better control over my gag reflexes, so I might soon be able to eat my eggs completely raw, and that will help give me more food. I don't really want to mix any cooked foods into this, but it will be the only thing I cook and it's only going to be very lightly cooked.
Right now I also seem to be needing to eat a pound of meat a day, and even then I still get hungry. I'm hoping adding fat will help with keeping me full, but that's if I can find any. Starting tomorrow though, only 2 raw egg yolks with cooked whites, 1lb raw ground beef, and some fruit. Then checking the stores for fat and hopefully adding some fat to my diet as well as maaaaaaybe some liver. Doesn't seem like much food though, I'll probably end up hungry.. gotta sleep now though.
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I remember in the beginning I ate a lot of raw eggs mixed with butter, lemon and honey. If you blend them they digest very fast and people do not generally object about that.
Why don't you eat the whole eggs in this blend? Have you tried?
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I thought the proteins in eggs are very delicate, and blending could ruin them? Just what I heard though, I'm not sure. But I'm out of raw butter, and I don't have any lemons, and I have no idea if the honey I have is truly raw or not, and I haven't otherwise been able to find any raw honeycomb. Plus I really love the taste of raw egg yolks, I don't really want to mix those with anything..
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I'd be hungrier eating fruit than if I fasted. But if it doesn't affect you and you like it, keep on. I have no desire for fruit. I get plenty of water and tea for hydration.
I find carb eaters to be puffy and sick looking in general, even if thin/lean-ish. And I find it very unattractive now. I understand WHY you felt bad about the money being spent. But it is like a parent telling a kid to clean his plate because of starving kids in Africa. :) Overeating is not going to help Africans, while eating crap is not going to make up for the money spent.
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I thought the proteins in eggs are very delicate, and blending could ruin them? Just what I heard though, I'm not sure. ..
Blending cant possibly ruin them more than cooking and they are supposed to break down in your stomach anyway.
I used honey or lemon more for the taste, sometimes as little as a teaspoon of each.
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I'm also going to start cooking my egg whites. I can't afford to just keep wasting them anymore. I'll still eat the yolks raw, but I'm going to cook the whites at least just enough to barely solidify them (but still runny) and make them not quite so slimy anymore and able for me to eat them. I'm hoping I can try to work myself up to eating whole eggs raw, though. I know at least I HAVE been getting better control over my gag reflexes, so I might soon be able to eat my eggs completely raw, and that will help give me more food. I don't really want to mix any cooked foods into this, but it will be the only thing I cook and it's only going to be very lightly cooked.
You can also use the egg whites externally to freshen and feed your eyes, as a hair health and beauty aid and a mouth gargle. It takes things out from between the teeth better than most mouthwashes do. That might make your cosmetics bill lower.
Cooked egg whites can leave you more susceptible to salmonella, allergic reaction and autoimmune diseases. If you feel safest eating cooked egg whites, do what you are feel best with. I know raw they can be difficult to get used to by the senses. It may be the wrong time for you to start. Are you experiencing related health problems?
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I'd be hungrier eating fruit than if I fasted. But if it doesn't affect you and you like it, keep on. I have no desire for fruit. I get plenty of water and tea for hydration.
I find carb eaters to be puffy and sick looking in general, even if thin/lean-ish. And I find it very unattractive now. I understand WHY you felt bad about the money being spent. But it is like a parent telling a kid to clean his plate because of starving kids in Africa. :) Overeating is not going to help Africans, while eating crap is not going to make up for the money spent.
Well, I don't really know if fruit makes me hungrier, it doesn't seem to though. And I hate tea.
And I don't think I ever looked puffy, I was always ever called bony or anorexic looking.
And I didn't eat the fast food, I just felt bad.
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Blending cant possibly ruin them more than cooking and they are supposed to break down in your stomach anyway.
I used honey or lemon more for the taste, sometimes as little as a teaspoon of each.
Well yeah, but I don't want to ruin the yolks at all, I swallow those whole completely raw and plain. Cooking the whites yesterday, I only half-cooked them I guess.. it was weird, because I held them over a very low flame and slowly stirred them the entire time, and only half of it solidified into little tiny clumps, while there was still a very watery liquid that wouldn't quite solidify.. I tried eating it like that, but it wasn't very good tasting. I'm thinking maybe I'll just try to eat the whole damn egg raw.. I just don't want to end up gagging on the slimy part. -v
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You can also use the egg whites externally to freshen and feed your eyes, as a hair health and beauty aid and a mouth gargle. It takes things out from between the teeth better than most mouthwashes do. That might make your cosmetics bill lower.
Cooked egg whites can leave you more susceptible to salmonella, allergic reaction and autoimmune diseases. If you feel safest eating cooked egg whites, do what you are feel best with. I know raw they can be difficult to get used to by the senses. It may be the wrong time for you to start. Are you experiencing related health problems?
How do I use egg whites on my eyes? Like eyedrops?!?! I never really need eyedrops or anything, plus I wear contacts and I don't know if mixing egg onto those is a good idea. I also don't brush my teeth/gargle at all, when I eat raw I don't need to.
How does cooking just the whites leave me susceptible to so many things? I don't want to cook them for safety issues, just for texture. I just don't like the slimy texture of the egg whites. Egg yolks are a perfect texture and taste delicious when raw. And I have no sort of health problems when eating raw or cooked or even completely SAD, other than bad acne.
What I need to do is just get over myself disliking slimy things and eat it anyways. I might be able to now, I was pretty well able to choke down some slightly highed meat, despite how much I gagged on it. That was more on taste than texture though, where with eggs it's just the texture, taste doesn't bother me.
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Yesterday I ended up running late and was unable to check any places for fat trimmings or anything. But today I should have enough time to check, as well as buy some liver to try, and also buy a bunch of meat. Hm, I actually was going to go to trader joe's and buy like 3 lbs of the grass-fed ground beef, but trader joe's is more on my way to school, and I'm going to work. Forgot the fresh and easy near my work has the corn fed beef, so I'm going to buy that instead. I'll get more meat for less money that way, even though it isn't grass-fed..
Had to spend more of my money on school supplies though, so this really sucks. Good news though, my credit card limit increased by $300 so that really helps. I feel like I have no time for anything though. I don't like having such a busy schedule. I should go now so I can leave in time to ask around for fat, get my liver to try, and buy and eat some meat before work.
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Well, I can get as much fat trimmings from the Ralph's in-store "butcher" as I want for free, but it's grain-fed non-organic fat. Still tastes good though, I got a whole bunch of it. I wish I could find good grass-fed fat, though, this grain-fed fat can't really be that good for me. But at least I've got an okay source of fat now, and I haven't had any dairy! This will be much cheaper. Bought some corn-fed beef, too, though it cost me about $6 for about 1.2 pounds, whereas grass-fed ground beef is about $6 for one pound, not much difference.. I still think the grass-fed tastes better though. But that damn grass-fed steak is like $1 per ounce! Forgot to get the liver though. Gotta get that tomorrow. I'm also a bit concerned, I've been using caloriecount.com to keep track of how much calories I've been eating, not that I'm trying to eat any certain amount, I'm just interested to see what the daily count is.. and it keeps telling me my potassium is too low. I don't know if that's super important or anything, or where I can get any good sources of potassium from animal sources.. I also think potassium is in balance with sodium or something? I know my sodium intake is very low as well, since I don't add salt to anything, so does a low sodium intake make a low potassium intake okay? I don't really know how that works. I think I'm going to use nutritiondata.com to see a better all-around intake of nutrition, because caloriecount.com is pretty limited in the nutrients they show you intaking.
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stew meat is often cheaper than steaks and has more added fat. if you don't see it in the case, they will usually cut it for you from the cheapest grass fed cut they are selling which may be in the back room.
i'm not sure the grain fed is going to do you any favors in the long run. what we eat BECOMES us.
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Well for the corn-fed, I buy "beef strips for stir-fry," I think it's the cheapest meat, and the easiest to eat since it's already chopped up for me, lol.
And the fat is just plain commercial grain-fed, but that's the ONLY kind of fat I have been able to find at all. Even the marrow is commercial grain-fed. As well as liver. I'm barely even able to find grass-fed meats, let alone fat or liver or other parts. The only grass fed meats I've found are already pre-packaged, they don't come from an in-store "butcher" like the grain-fed does, and I think they're all even imported from different countries.. so I can't ask for odd ends and such. So, it's either grain-fed fat, or go pack to eating pizza? When I have class again though and I can stop by the trader joe's, I'm going to ask them if they at least have organic liver or organic fat trimmings that I could get, which would be better than the commercial stuff I get, even if they're still grain-fed. But since they don't have an in-store butcher or anything, I doubt they will have anything.. I can try though, and at least hope for the organic liver.
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Eating that stuff should be better than pizza.
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Well, to warm up the fat I put it in a glass jar and set it outside in the sun. Tastes pretty good. But a little while after I ate some of it, it felt kind of weird in my stomach. I don't know why, but it made me want to just lay down and not do anything though, until the feeling in my stomach went away. I couldn't though, because I was at work, but then after a little while the feeling went away anyways. It made me not want to eat anymore fat either though, and the corn fed beef isn't really as appetizing anymore after a day and it's gotten all brown. Dunno if I'll be able to eat the rest of it, though I guess I'll try.
I don't think cooking the egg whites is going to work either though. For some reason they have a weird taste that I don't like, almost soapy. Maybe I can go back to eating just the yolks though, since I have a bunch of fat now? I wish the whites weren't so slimy, I hate wasting stuff, and I want to eat them.
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I can't believe I just dropped my egg yolk down the sink. I hate when I do that!! :'(
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I think I'm going to stick with the grass-fed ground beef. these corn-fed beef strips suck.
also my acne doesn't seem to be going away much anymore. I'm still getting it, and the blemishes still aren't healing. I don't know why I still keep getting so much acne even while I'm eating raw. I hate it. I stopped the dairy, so that can't be the cause. I stopped fruit before, and still got acne, so that wasn't the cause. What is it?!?! Does my meat cause it?!?! Should I stop eating meat and try only dairy and fruit?!? Should I become a raw vegan and whither away and see if that works?!?! I don't get it. What is wrong with my stupid face?! I hate my skin! >\
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I think I'm going to stick with the grass-fed ground beef. these corn-fed beef strips suck.
also my acne doesn't seem to be going away much anymore. I'm still getting it, and the blemishes still aren't healing. I don't know why I still keep getting so much acne even while I'm eating raw. I hate it. I stopped the dairy, so that can't be the cause. I stopped fruit before, and still got acne, so that wasn't the cause. What is it?!?! Does my meat cause it?!?! Should I stop eating meat and try only dairy and fruit?!? Should I become a raw vegan and whither away and see if that works?!?! I don't get it. What is wrong with my stupid face?! I hate my skin! >\
Be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day. Some benefits of a healthy diet are immediate, but others take much longer. The "Wai Diet" (fruit eggs and fish -- www.waisays.com) claims to cure acne in a very short time, so you can try that if you want.
You might learn some interesting things about acne from that website. If I recall correctly, some of their tips for curing acne are:
-- if you cheat, eat low-protein food. Cooked/processed protein, and even frozen protein, can make acne worse.
-- too much protein, even if raw, can make acne worse.
I came to Raw Paleo via this "Wai Diet", and found that in the long term, and especially in the winter, I do better on more meat and less fruit.
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well poop, I wish I could have known this wai diet right after buying a WHOLE BUNCH OF FRUIT.. now most of my fruit is gone though and isn't gonna last me for two weeks. Also I don't know if I like fish, I've never really eaten it before because I hate the fishy smell, and I definately don't want to taste it. Though, I have been taking cod liver oil, and this fishy taste it has isn't quite that bad, though I don't like it. Also I have no idea if I can find fish that's never been frozen before.
I wonder if this is also a diet that my dad would be okay with, though I don't know how he'd be with letting me eat raw egg yolks and raw fish, but at least it's more common to eat raw egg yolks and sushi is raw fish eaten all the time, and I might be able to convince him to let me eat this wai diet at least, even if he won't let me eat raw beef. If I show him that this diet is supposed to cure acne. Hm.
Thank you for showing me this, though, maybe next time we go shopping and I can get a huge supply of fruit again, I can try it. I know I can find fresh fish from Alaska at my fresh and easy store, but I have no idea if it's ever been frozen or not. The only meats they have that say never frozen is the chicken I think. But I can look for fish that says it too. Maybe I'll leave early today and check..
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Well, it seems I CAN survive on a diet of only eggs and fruit, seeing how yesterday all I ate was two egg yolks and a bunch of fruit. Though, I was kind of tired and felt just a little on the weak side, at least compared to when I have plenty of meat to eat, but I was still able to function well at work, so it wasn't that bad. I also haven't eaten at all yet today, and it's almost 6pm, though I did sleep until like 3pm lol.. but at least I don't have work or school today so it's okay. I'm getting a little hungry though, but I seem to be almost able to fast for today. But I don't want to fast again, I have to wake up early for work tomorrow, or earlier than usual.. so I don't want to end up sleeping in, or being too tired or weak. So I will eat soon.
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Well, I'm completely out of fruit now. Still have a bunch of eggs left though, I've only been eating at most two a day.
But I now have a game plan. And I'm going to stick only to the grass-fed ground beef, I didn't even ever finish the corn fed stuff and had a loss of appetite because of it. However, they do have fresh wild-caught never-frozen fish at the Fresh&Easy, so I now know that is an available option, if/when I have the money.
But here's my plan:
Today, I'm going to stop by Ralph's and get me some more fat trimmings(commercial grain-fed). The store is only about 5 minutes away from my house, so I could probably stop by almost everyday to get fresh fat trimmings for free. Key word on this is "free." I'm also going to see if they can weigh it, and then I'll ask for more precise measurements of fat, so I can better keep track of how much I'm eating. I think I'll start out asking for a half pound(8 ounces, right?), if I can, and see how well that fills/lasts me(thinking about 2 days so possibly 4 oz a day), and then go from there on whether I need more or less.
After that, on my way to class (since it is close to my school/in the same direction) I am going to stop by Trader Joe's and pick up 3 lbs of their grass-fed 85/15 ground beef. They're about $6 each pound, so this should cost me about $18-$20. I'm going to eat only half a pound a day, so 3 pounds will last me 6 days, precisely until Monday, which is the next time I have class and can stop by Trader Joe's again. I'm going to stick with buying only 3 pounds at a time, each time I go to Trader Joe's. I will try not to eat more than half a pound a day. If I get hungry, I will eat fat instead. But three pounds will only last me 6 days, and I'm only going to buy it once a week, on Mondays. The 7th day, when I run out of meat, which will be Sundays, I will try to eat only 2 egg yolks and fat, maybe fruit if we have any. If I get hungry, I will eat only the fat trimmings. They are free, so I can eat as much of them as I want. However, I don't know how good it will be for me to eat one day a week almost pure fat, with no muscle meat at all. If anyone knows any reasons I should not do this, please tell me why, otherwise I'm going to see how this goes for me. I could possibly tweak my plan so that I can get my half pound of meat per day, everyday, but for now I'm going to try one day a week without to save on costs, to see how that goes first, and if it doesn't work, then I will tweak it to get a half pound of meat everyday. This will also keep my protein intake low. After having read about the Wai diet's approach to curing acne with low protein, I'm going to see if this higher fat and lower protein will help with my acne. I am also trying to build muscle, so I'm going to be working out everyday, to also help with using up any excess protein. one day a week without muscle meat will also keep my protein intake low. However, it will still be a couple weeks before I have to go one day without meat.
This will put me at spending about $2.5 - $3 a day on food, though, with the one day a week without meat.
While still at Trader Joe's, I will ask about both liver (preferably organic grass-fed, but just organic will still be fine, since the only other liver I have been able to find is commercial grain-fed) and fat trimmings. Organic fat trimmings will still be better than commercial fat trimmings, even if it's still grain-fed. I am hopeful about the liver but doubtful about the fat trimmings. If they have liver, I will buy some and try to add an ounce of liver to my daily diet. However, I have never eaten liver before whether raw or cooked, so I have no idea if I will even like it or not. Hopefully I do like liver, but we shall see.
If Trader Joe's does not have liver, I am going to inquire once again to Goodwin's Organics about the frozen organic grass-fed liver, since they never got back to me about it. Those came in packages of 8 ounces for about $5 each I was told, if I can order them, so I could easily buy that once a week and eat a little over an ounce a day. (about 1.14 ounces, if I cut up an 8oz liver into 7 pieces.)
That would add only about 75 cents per day, to put me at spending $3.25 - $3.75 a day.
If neither place has liver available to me, then I will as last resort buy the commercial grain-fed liver to try.
But, if this works out ideally, I'm looking at eating about 8oz of ground beef(85/15 organic grass-fed), ??oz of fat trimmings(commercial grain-fed), 2 chicken eggs yolks(organic free-range), and 1-1.14oz of liver(organic grass-fed) per day, minus the ground beef one day a week.. and being pretty stable with it, other than perhaps with the amount of fat trimmings I eat. The fat trimmings will be the only thing I eat based only on how hungry I am, everything else will be portioned and eaten only that portion per day. Fruit may be added occasionally when my dad buys it.
I think I shall have two meals a day, with the egg yolks eaten for "breakfast," or basically as the first meal I eat whenever I become hungry after waking up, sometime before work/school. Then later in the afternoon/evening either during or after work/school, I will eat a meal of beef/liver/fat, which seems like it would be fine to eat all together/immediately after each other, since it would normally be eaten together. But liver shall be eaten first. (If I can stand eating it and including it in my diet everyday.) Then probably either beef, or beef and fat together. Fat will be eaten in portions according to how hungry I am, as well as.. as "snacks" throughout the day if I become hungry otherwise, outside of my two set meals.
So yeah, I think it's a good plan. And I should actually leave now so I have plenty of time to stop by the stores and buy my food and inquire about stuff. Can't be late to class or I will be kicked.
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Well, Trader Joe's has no liver, so Goodwin's is my last hope of grass-fed/organic liver, otherwise I guess I'm going to have to try the commercial grain-fed.
Also started over completely raw starting today, following my above gameplan minus the liver for now.
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Okay, liver is gross. >>; it has a really strong taste that I don't like. texture is fine, though. but this is commercial grain-fed liver, and I'm still wondering if organic and/or grass-fed tastes any better. if I can get a hold of grass-fed I will still try. but I haven't been eating the liver I bought. I might try chopping it up and mixing it into some of my grass-fed ground beef though, to cover the taste a bit and make it easier to eat.. I want the nutrients from it. I don't think I'm getting enough nutrients strictly from eating eggs, ground beef, and grain-fed fat. Though I seem to feel fine though. But I'm probably deficient in something. Not that I wasn't deficient on probably a lot of things when eating SAD though, hm.
I'm thinking if I lived on my own, in a place with a yard, I would raise chickens and rabbits.. so I could have fresh homegrown eggs and meat everyday. And I would have the entire carcass of the rabbit to eat, all the organs, meat, blood, fat, and bones. And rabbits multiply like crazy, so I could just let them run free and multiply on their own, so I would have plenty to eat. They seem pretty easy to raise, and that way I can control their diet as well. But I wonder if I like rabbit meat. I could also eat chicken sometimes, too.
My teacher in my health science class is trying to tell the class that meat takes four days to digest. He also tells them that it will build up in your intestines as gunk, to the point that you will need surgery to cut out the parts that are too clogged up with gunk. He also told us that John Wayne was found to have 50 pounds of rotten meat in his intestines, when they autopsied him. Snopes denies this fact as true. I really don't know what to think of this because the class seems to believe him except for me. I also stated in class about the study I read with the man with a gunshot wound in his stomach, which showed cooked meat to digest in 3 - 4 hours and raw meat to digest within 1 - 2, and the teacher basically just said "our research is different." What kind of answer is that?
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I used to have a white tongue, my entire life my tongue has been white and fuzzy, brushing my teeth more or brushing my tongue did nothing to get rid of it, scraping did nothing, changes in diet had never done anything to alter it, no matter what I did my tongue stayed the same white and fuzzy. Right now I just went to the bathroom and scraped off and scrubbed my tongue, and for the first time in my life I now have a pink tongue.
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My teacher in my health science class is trying to tell the class that meat takes four days to digest. He also tells them that it will build up in your intestines as gunk, to the point that you will need surgery to cut out the parts that are too clogged up with gunk. He also told us that John Wayne was found to have 50 pounds of rotten meat in his intestines, when they autopsied him. Snopes denies this fact as true. I really don't know what to think of this because the class seems to believe him except for me. I also stated in class about the study I read with the man with a gunshot wound in his stomach, which showed cooked meat to digest in 3 - 4 hours and raw meat to digest within 1 - 2, and the teacher basically just said "our research is different." What kind of answer is that?
What a lousy teacher. And teaching science no less. l)
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What a lousy teacher. And teaching science no less. l)
Yeah, that's pretty bad. However, I did post on the teacher's forum giving evidence that John Wayne was not found to have 40 lbs of meat in his stomach, the info from snopes, as well as some info and sources to the experiments done by Beaumont on the gunshot wound victim that shows that meat fully digests within hours, rather than days. I had a few people post back thanking me for the info and research, so I am glad to have at least convinced a few people that he is wrong.
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Okay so, the other night I pretty much swallowed an entire slice of pizza whole, trying to impress a guy (stupid, I know, but the heart is foolish..) so I stuffed this whole piece of pizza into my mouth in pretty much two bites it was gone, with barely any chewing, maybe about 5 - 10 chews at most.. also ate some pineapple and mango both before and after eating it, pretty bad. and yeeeah, I felt fine that night and even the next morning, but that next day I started getting a bad stomach ache and diarrhea.. and now I've had diarrhea for 3 days in a row now, with some rather bad stomach pains. I mean, I thought at first it was just the pizza, because I had a stomach ache the next day, but it felt better when I drank some water, and then even better after I went to the bathroom, and I felt fine that first night. But then the next day I got it again. Yesterday I didn't eat at all, only drank water, hoping that would help, but then now today I still have to stomach pains and diarrhea. But like, I only get the stomach pains right before I have to go to the bathroom, once I go I feel pretty okay for a while until I have to go again, which has been rather frequent. If I eat, it seems to get worse, and now even if I drink water it seems to cause some pain. But there doesn't seem to be any blood or anything. I'm wondering if maybe I got some bad salmonella or something though, but I don't see how, because I'm pretty sure I didn't eat any raw eggs or meat for more than 24 hours before I got sick. I thought maybe there was some bad salmonella in the eggs I ate that morning, and that I was fine until I ate the pizza which accelerated the growth of the salmonella, but there had to have been at least 6 hours inbetween when I ate the eggs and when I ate the pizza, if not more, so I don't see how that could have worked. My dad also ate from the same pizza, and he's perfectly fine. I don't know, but I'm afraid to eat anything until this goes away, even a bit afraid to drink my water. I don't know what to do to make it go away, I don't even know what it is.. I've never had anything like this happen to me before.
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How often do you eat grains. This was what it was like for me when I would eat a grain product after being grain free for a while. It took a few of these experiences (and they worsened each time for mew) before I was totally 100% grain free.
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Well, I was eating some grain every once in a while before that without any problems at all. Even the very day before i swallowed the one slice whole, I ate some slices from the same pizza (my dad had bought it for us) so I'm not sure if it really could have been the pizza. I have no idea why this is happening.
I bought some raw milk, raw butter, and raw cheese, hoping the raw dairy will act as a probiotic to help with the diarrhea. I didn't get sick after eating the milk, butter, and cheese while I was at work, but after I got home I had stomach pains and diarrhea again, as well as just a little while ago after I woke up. But it actually had seemed to make me feel better at first.. or maybe it was just because I finally ate?
Well, there was a little milk leftover from the jug I bought, so I was going to let that sit at room temperature to sour up a bit and hopefully make it into a more potent pro-biotic.
Also seems like there might be a bit of blood in the diarrhea, though I noticed it before I got the dairy, so it wasn't caused by it.
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How often do you eat grains. This was what it was like for me when I would eat a grain product after being grain free for a while. It took a few of these experiences (and they worsened each time for mew) before I was totally 100% grain free.
And, you would get diarrhea for 4 days in a row after eating a little grain? Even after fasting for a day and a half and then drink some probiotic raw milk and eating probiotic raw butter?
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Still kind of have diarrhea, but it doesn't seem to be as bad as it used to. might even just be because I haven't been eating much solid food, too, I've only been eating the dairy. and I'm starving, and I've lost way too much weight now, I feel anorexic and I don't like it. I'm going to try eating some solid meat today, I'm going to stop by trader joe's on the way to class and pick up some grass-fed ground beef. I'm only going to eat 4 ounces of it though, for now, just to see how I react to it. I think I'll be fine though, I don't seem to be having any bad reactions to the raw cheese and butter, but we'll see how I do on meat. I want to buy some fat trimmings too, but those are only grain-fed and I'm not sure if I should go with that yet. I still have some cheese and butter leftover though, so I'll eat those if I get hungry. Also, haven't yet drank my little bit of milk that I've left sitting out yet, it's gotten rather separated and smells kinda cheesy, actually kinda smells really good right now, I hope it tastes as good as it smells. There's only probably about one big gulp in there, though, but I doubt I'll be able to gulp it all down at once, I'll probably drink it pretty slowly because of the separation. I'll drink it before I leave for class and to go buy my meat. I'm hoping the meat sits well, I'm really hungry, but I'm also afraid to eat anything not raw because I feel like it'll make me super sick all over again. I find it funny that, thinking I might have salmonella/foodpoisoning, I'm afraid to eat anything BUT raw meat and raw milk/dairy, which are usually thought to be the causes lol. Still afraid to eat any raw eggs though, at least until this sickness is completely gone. Also afraid to eat any fruit.
After I get over this though, I want to start eating a lot more. I feel like I've lost way too much weight, and need to gain some back. I want to eat meat, fat, eggs, and fruit everyday.. if I could afford it, I'd buy dairy to eat everyday, too. When I move back to my normal location for work, I might make enough to afford it. Not sure if I'll be able to eat liver though, the grain-fed liver was pretty gross. Haven't tried chopping it up and adding it to my meat, though. Still haven't gotten a response about the grass-fed liver at the health food store, either.
Also, took some new pictures of my eyes the other day.. I think right before I got sick. They seem to be a lot more hazel looking in these pics than they were before.
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0918101752a.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0918101752.jpg)
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/Me/0909101721.jpg)
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And, you would get diarrhea for 4 days in a row after eating a little grain? Even after fasting for a day and a half and then drink some probiotic raw milk and eating probiotic raw butter?
No, this is way more extreme. My reaction is intense lower stomach pain several hours after eating grain, which takes several hours to pass. Followed by intermittent diarrhea for about 8 hours.
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No, this is way more extreme. My reaction is intense lower stomach pain several hours after eating grain, which takes several hours to pass. Followed by intermittent diarrhea for about 8 hours.
I've had diarrhea for about 4 - 5 days now, I think it's more than a reaction to just grains which I was perfectly fine with eating only a few days prior.
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sour milk is too sour, almost puked trying to drink it, so that isn't going to work.
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Okay 4 ounces of meat did fine yesterday and I'm actually feeling a lot better, didn't have any diarrhea (though no bowel movement at all either) yesterday either. Ate some more meat, another 4 ounces, when I woke up in the middle of the night and got hungry, but then I napped for about an hour or so a little while ago. Still have 8 ounces left, gonna eat the whole 8 ounces tomorrow. Tried eating some fruit just now, so we'll see how that goes. I do get a bit of stomach discomfort every once in a while, but it doesn't come out as diarrhea, just gas, then I feel fine. Just feel a little weak from how little I've been eating the passed what, 4 or 5 days? maybe 6? But since food seems to be doing fine now, I can start eating again.
Okay nevermind, got diarrhea again not long after eating the fruit, and keep getting it again. Any sort of plant food seems to make it worse. No more plant food for me. I bought a bag of raw brazil nuts, and they taste pretty good actually, but they make my diarrhea worse. I'll have to wait until after I recover. Gonna see if my dad will buy me some raw nuts now though, that would be nice if I could get him to buy them for me, and add them to the fruit and eggs he already buys me. Gotta make sure I tell him I only like them raw though, not roasted or anything, and that I won't eat them if they are. Gonna blame it on taste though. Well kinda, guess I'll just say I don't like the roasted ones and make a disgusted face as if they taste bad. Implies that it's because of the taste without actually saying it or lying, kekeke.
Gonna buy some more raw milk on the way to school today though, since it helped. Still have some butter leftover, so I'm going to buy a half gallon of milk instead of the smaller quarter gallon, and only buy the milk. No cheese.. well, although if they have the raw cultured butter I might get it, but I don't like the taste of it unless it's spread on cheese. Hm. We'll see. But I'm going to drink the milk more slowly, so it lasts longer this time.. Can't afford to buy milk everyday. Plus I probably won't be able to stop by that store again until Monday, so, gotta try and make the milk last. Wondering if I should buy some cream too though, which is all more probiotic? Or how about Colostrum or uh.. Quefer?--Okay I just looked it up on the website of Organic Pastures, which is the brand of raw milk that I get, and it's Qephor. I'm definately going to get some--http://www.organicpastures.com/products_qephor.html--I guess it's like yogurt. That and cultured butter, if they have it this time, should act like a good enough probiotic, no? Gonna get the milk too though, 'cause I'm just hungry.. wondering if I should buy more meat and eat a pound of it a day instead of 8oz, but I don't want to overload on protein and cause myself more acne, if protein is the cause as according to Wai.. but right now, my main priority is to get over this sickness. I'm tired of this diarrhea, I'm tired of feeling sick, I'm tired of not being able to eat, I'm hungry and I don't want to be in pain anymore.
When I go to the stores, I'll also look for the apple cider vinegar that's been suggested to me, though I'm a little afraid to eat it since it's plant-based.
I guess the only thing good about having gotten sick though is that it's making me eat 100% purely raw again though. But the dairy's gonna cost me.
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When I go to the stores, I'll also look for the apple cider vinegar that's been suggested to me, though I'm a little afraid to eat it since it's plant-based.
But you're using it as a tool and not a food source. The amount you're ingesting is minimal and the benefit should outweigh any concerns you have about it. It's also been fermented so should be easier on your digestion than a fresh apple would be.
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But you're using it as a tool and not a food source. The amount you're ingesting is minimal and the benefit should outweigh any concerns you have about it. It's also been fermented so should be easier on your digestion than a fresh apple would be.
Hmmm, maybe. I'm still going to try it, just hoping it won't make me sick.
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The apple cider vinegar didn't seem to make much of a difference, and I still seemed to have slight discomfort in my stomach/intestines the day I drank it that I don't think I had the day before when I didn't drink the apple cider vinegar, and which I didn't have today and I haven't drank any. I also almost seem to be constipated now. Not sure if the apple cider vinegar did any good really. I do seem to feel a lot better today though. Don't think I'll drink anymore though.. maybe not until I'm feeling a bit better. Also tried eating three egg yolks today, in the morning, and that went perfectly fine. Didn't cause any problems.
Dunno how much longer I should go before trying to eat fruit and stuff again.. maybe just slowly introduce things, like the eggs right now.. grain-fed fat(since it's the only fat i can get) next in a day or so.. then a little fruit after that in another couple days? I'm still so hungry, ugh.. wondering if I should eat a lb of meat a day instead of half. Probably will, so I can keep the intake of my expensive raw milk down.
Stopped by my fresh and easy which is next to my work, since they have some fresh wild-caught fish and I wanted to try some before I get transferred back to my other store. Bought some of this really thinly sliced italian ham stuff, which is from italy and was in the 50% off section, which I was looking at because the slices had generous portions of fat on them. But they're salted, and I hadn't yet eaten any pork raw, so I was hesitant and wasn't going to get it. Until this couple came up besides me, and the wife pointed to the pork and said "Oh those are supposed to be eaten nearly raw!" and I asked, "Those can be eaten raw?" and she said "Yeah, or just barely sizzled over the fire and then served." I saw this as a sign, and got the ham slices. Also picked up a small thing of wild caught yellowfin tuna, which is also my first time eating raw fish, or any fish other than fishsticks.
The pork (ate all four ounces) tasted pretty good, though rather salty, and I didn't like the salty taste. Otherwise was good, and the fat part was easy to eat even coldish, although maybe easier since it was so very thinly sliced. Just tried the fish, and it doesn't taste fishy at all! And the texture isn't all that different from other meats, either. It actually tastes pretty good. I'm just a tad bit afraid of parasites, but..well, I guess it's too late now, already ate some. I'm glad it tastes alright to me though, because then this means if I go out to a Japanese restaurant I can get some sashimi and be fine and eat raw. Though I'd still prefer to get beef sashimi, or even chicken sashimi, but I don't know if you can get that in america? Well, I guess I can always try, and if not, then stick with the fish.
The pork and fish were just a one-time thing to try out though, especially since I'm not going to be working next to that fresh and easy anymore. Just got the fish to see if I'd be alright eating sushi since it's the only socially acceptable raw meat.
Was really hungry at work today though, and there was a really really good smelling pizza, one of my favourites, that were available to be eaten by the employees.. I kept hovering by it, oh so tempted to take a bite, to eat a piece, to devour the entire thing, even though I knew it would make me sick again, but I nearly thought it would be worth it. My coworker noticed though, and he knows I've been sick and I told him how tempted I was to eat it even though eating it would make me sick, and he kept telling me not to eat it, until finally he just threw it away right in front of me.. and said There, temptation gone. I was so thankful to him for that, even though I was so sad that such a delicious pizza had to be thrown away. Oh geeze, conflicting interests.
The pork and fish seem to have my belly feeling full, even though I barely ate any of the fish.. though for some reason my tongue is craving more food. Maybe it was the salt in the pork. Oh well, at least I feel a bit full, and even have a bunch of fish leftover, which I can eat tomorrow.. then maybe I can save my beef, I have a pound but I bought it to last me until monday, so thats a half pound for saturday and a half pound for sunday, rather than eating a whole pound on saturday and having none for sunday.
Does fish get high at all? I hope it doesn't get bad tasting sitting out while I sleep all night, but I'll probably eat it for breakfast tomorrow.
Oh, should probably mention my skin's been a bit itchy lately. Not a big deal, hardly even annoying, just something noticeable. Dunno what that means either, but it's itchy everywhere, legs, arms, wrists, back. No rash or anything though, and it isn't constant itchy, just every once in a while.. maybe my skin just got a bit dehydrated from all the diarrhea I had. Who knows. No biggie though, and I'm sure it will go away on it's own soon.
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Ate pretty well today I suppose, finished off my fish, ate some egg yolks, drank some milk, and ate some beef. Still hungry though.. wish I could eat some fruits and nuts too. Gonna try the apple cider vinegar again tomorrow when I wake up. Still haven't had any diarrhea or even bowel movements at all, though no bowel movements seemed to be normal whenever I eat purely animal foods. Had some slight discomforts in my stomach though, if you could even call them that, barely really anything, but just enough to make me think that eating any fruit right now would still wreak havoc on my intestines. Felt a tad bit weak and lightheaded at work today, though it was super hot which doesn't help the matter, but I think it was also due to how little I've been eating. Almost out of eggs, only have 2 left. 8 ounces of meat left. And that's about it.. won't get to eat much tomorrow. I wonder if cooked/processed meat will be bad on my intestines? Especially if thoroughly chewed(I normally tend not to chew my food much, if at all).. My dad bought some smokies, these little pre-cooked processed sausage things.. I'm wondering if I should try eating any if I get hungry. They're pretty bad though, with preservatives and such I'm sure, but I know I'm going to be super hungry, and I think I'm more afraid to eat the fruit. Monday I can buy more meat, though I'm kind of disliking buying all my meat in advanced.. the meat doesn't taste quite as good if I don't eat it the same day I buy it. Though still tastes good enough. Guess I should buy enough to eat a pound a day, at least until I get the Qephor, if I can. Oh, I'll get some grain-fed fat tomorrow though. That should help a bit with hunger.
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WOO, just had my first solid bowel movement in over a week.. first bowel movement I've had since I stopped eating fruit. nice and solid. I feel a lot better now, I think I just lost another pound though. Gonna start eating more fruit and such if we have it, gonna try to gain back all the weight I lost.. even my tightest pants were falling off me!
Unfortunately I left too late on Monday to buy my grass fed ground beef, so I have to get it tomorrow instead. Fortunately got some lamb shoulder for cheap from fresh&easy the other day because it was old so they put it at a lower price.. was like $4 for 3/4 pound. First time I ever have tried lamb though, I ate a few bites last night and it tastes pretty good actually, even all browned and old.. probably even better when fresh.. So I still have most of that left that I can eat today. Also got more eggs, gonna eat 4 a day now maybe, to help try to gain weight. Dunno if I will still go and get the Qephor tomorrow.. probably will just to make sure my gut's still nice and good, as well as maybe buy some raw butter and raw cheese to help with getting more calories and stuff, especially butter. And some grain-fed fat on top of all that, I should be able to gain back my weight nicely.
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Here's wishing you get your figure back.
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Here's wishing you get your figure back.
Thank you!
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WOO, just had my first solid bowel movement in over a week.. first bowel movement I've had since I stopped eating fruit. nice and solid. I feel a lot better now, I think I just lost another pound though. Gonna start eating more fruit and such if we have it, gonna try to gain back all the weight I lost.. even my tightest pants were falling off me!
Unfortunately I left too late on Monday to buy my grass fed ground beef, so I have to get it tomorrow instead. Fortunately got some lamb shoulder for cheap from fresh&easy the other day because it was old so they put it at a lower price.. was like $4 for 3/4 pound. First time I ever have tried lamb though, I ate a few bites last night and it tastes pretty good actually, even all browned and old.. probably even better when fresh.. So I still have most of that left that I can eat today. Also got more eggs, gonna eat 4 a day now maybe, to help try to gain weight. Dunno if I will still go and get the Qephor tomorrow.. probably will just to make sure my gut's still nice and good, as well as maybe buy some raw butter and raw cheese to help with getting more calories and stuff, especially butter. And some grain-fed fat on top of all that, I should be able to gain back my weight nicely.
Did you mean kefir (fermented dairy drink) instead of qephor? I laughed pretty hard after i figured that one out :). Do you do well with all this dairy? From what your saying it seems like your over doing it. I haven't been following your journal but is there a reason you cant eat more grass-fed beef?
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Did you mean kefir (fermented dairy drink) instead of qephor? I laughed pretty hard after i figured that one out :). Do you do well with all this dairy? From what your saying it seems like your over doing it. I haven't been following your journal but is there a reason you cant eat more grass-fed beef?
It's Kefir, but Qephor is the brand name of the raw kefir made from colostrum with russian kefir grains I can get from organic pastures. Dairy doesn't seem to affect me that badly.. but really, I was trying to leave out the dairy, I only added it back in recently to help with my stomach problems I was having. Those seem to be over now though, so after I run out of this dairy I won't buy anymore. And I bought more beef too, though. Been eating a pound of it a day instead of the 8 ounces i was before.
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Been eating as much as I can lately, though I've been using raw nuts as a staple source for calories mostly, mainly raw brazil nuts, which are pretty delicious and very high in calories and fat. I've been keeping track of how much I eat a day on caloriecount.com, and one day I even ate over 3,500 calories lol. I should gain my weight back no problem. Been eating on demand whenever I feel hungry, rather than trying to have one or two meals a day, I just eat all day long.. and I've been pretty hungry lately, I think I'm in feast mode. Mostly eating (all raw) beef, milk/cheese/butter, egg yolks, and nuts, unfortunately i ran out of fruit which probably would help better to gain weight with the sugar, but I guess I can try to gain muscle weight instead with the beef and eggs. Still have the lamb, which has been sitting out pretty much in the open in my drawer, i think it's getting a bit high actually, though a little dried out. doesn't seem to be stinking too badly, but then i also leave my window open all day to keep the smell out. Kinda curious to try it if I get the chance, been rather busy lately though.
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Been eating as much as I can lately, though I've been using raw nuts as a staple source for calories mostly, mainly raw brazil nuts, which are pretty delicious and very high in calories and fat. I've been keeping track of how much I eat a day on caloriecount.com, and one day I even ate over 3,500 calories lol. I should gain my weight back no problem. Been eating on demand whenever I feel hungry, rather than trying to have one or two meals a day, I just eat all day long.. and I've been pretty hungry lately, I think I'm in feast mode. Mostly eating (all raw) beef, milk/cheese/butter, egg yolks, and nuts, unfortunately i ran out of fruit which probably would help better to gain weight with the sugar, but I guess I can try to gain muscle weight instead with the beef and eggs. Still have the lamb, which has been sitting out pretty much in the open in my drawer, i think it's getting a bit high actually, though a little dried out. doesn't seem to be stinking too badly, but then i also leave my window open all day to keep the smell out. Kinda curious to try it if I get the chance, been rather busy lately though.
Good to hear your feeling better. Does the lamb not attract insects?
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Good to hear your feeling better. Does the lamb not attract insects?
No? There's like no bugs in this house anyways, and it's upstairs here in my room in a drawer.. though I haven't really been checking it much. It might end up being too gross for me to eat though, I'm not sure, I'll have to see.. if not, then I'll probably buy lamb more often to make high instead of beef, 'cause even slightly high(like not even really high) beef wasn't so easy to eat. I just don't know when I'll be able to eat it, I want to take it outside to eat, so the smell doesn't stink up my room, but I think my dad's probably going to be home all day for the next few days..
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Wow, haven't been here in a long time. Mostly because I haven't been doing well with my raw diet.
I seemed to have lost an appetite for my raw meat.. I don't know why. Fruit has become more of my main source of raw food.. as well as a bit of raw milk/cheese/butter sometimes. But, working at a pizza place, I've been giving in and eating pizza every once in a while, which I hate. I hate that it tastes so delicious and amazing and addicting.. I want to eat it every time I smell it or see it, and it drives me crazy. It is so absolutely delicious when I eat it, even though it makes me feel sick if I eat too much of it. I've come to hate salt for how addicting it is. I try as hard as I can to resist eating pizza, though. I've gone more just organic and salt-free as much as I can, over raw.
My main concern of all though is to be rid of my acne. I've seemed to have gotten it under a lot better control, although it still has not gone away completely, and I think my random binges on pizza are probably mostly to blame. I try to stay away from bread/grains as much as possible still, but it unavoidable with pizza, though I usually try to stick with the thin crust if I do ever eat it. Meats/cheese/dairy doesn't seem to make me break out too badly even if it is cooked/pasteurized. I still don't know exactly what it is causing my acne, because sometimes I'll go on binges of eating pizza and it doesn't seem to cause any breakouts.
However, my diet lately seems to be consisting mostly of fruits, mainly watermelon as it seems to be the cheapest for a lot that will fill me up more and last a long time. But I also eat pineapple, banana, mango, kiwi, apples, strawberries, green grapes, and other common fruits that are easy to eat. These are mostly regular commercial grocery store fruits though, rather than organic which I would prefer, but it's harder to find organic fruits and they are also more expensive. I also have been eating cooked organic free range cage free chicken eggs, which seem to be my main meal for the day, that I use to keep me full when I go to work.. usually eating about 3 - 5 eggs, scrambled and cooked on as low of heat as I can, cooked along with raw butter and raw or pasteurized cheese, and sometimes some of my soured raw milk than I can't drink straight anymore. Then I also found at trader joe's this organic flourless sprouted grain breads.. the first brand I bought, on the ingredients list was only 7 different sprouted grains, honey, yeast, and seasalt, which I thought to be a very good ingredients list. The other brand i forget the ingredients, but was also organic and made from sprouted grains but has no salt. I'm not sure if sprouted grain bread is any better than bread made with flour, but I only use it to make toast (which I don't even toast that much anymore, I only put it in the toaster long enough to warm it up but not to even brown it at all) which I spread with trader joe's organic creamy unsalted peanut butter (with the only thing on the ingredients list being organic valencia dry roasted unblanched peanuts, so no salt or oils) and either blackberry jam or my raw organic honey and organic cinnamon. I usually only eat the toast to try and get me full enough to not eat any pizza at work, but sometimes it fails. I also sometimes eat raw uncooked cheese/milk/butter. Other than that I sometimes binge on pizza at work or candy bars. But I still don't drink anything at all except water or milk.
Not such a great diet, but I'm trying to improve. I'm just glad I'm getting away from salt so much, the only salt I get anymore is from my random pizza binges, the cheese(because I have been unable to find any cheese, raw or not, that does not have salt in it), and the bread I use for toast, though I've now found an unsalted bread so that eliminates another source of salt. But I feel like I am addicted to a drug.. worse than that, because no one thinks it's bad if you eat a bunch of salty food. Salt is added into nearly every food, it's so hard to avoid, and so addicting and hard for me to resist.
However, lately I've been accidentally leaving the stove on when I cook my eggs, and my dad got pretty mad at me over it, and we got into a fight. Makes me not want to use the stove anymore, so I'm going to try to eat my eggs raw again from now on, the only problem is that I can't stand raw egg whites(which is why I was cooking my eggs, I can only eat the yolks raw and I hated wasting the whites down the drain). Even though the whites are pretty much useless, but since I haven't been eating much raw meat if at all, I was cooking my eggs so that I would have more to eat and feel more full and be less likely to crave any pizza. But I bought a few pounds of my usual raw organic grass fed ground beef from trader joe's, and I'm hoping I can try to start eating some everyday. I still don't eat any vegetables, raw or cooked, other than bread of you count that.. although I just bought some garlic, which I think counts as a vegetable.. but the thing I crave most on any pizza I eat is that garlic, so I'm trying to find a healthier alternative to satisfy my cravings for it to help me avoid eating the pizza. Also read that garlic is good for curing acne, which is a plus I didn't know about until after I bought it. But yeah, thats how its pretty much been for me lately...
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Still haven't been eating much meat lately, but that's because the grass-fed meat that I found that I like seems to never be in stock at my organics store anymore. I'm trying to hold out as much as I can until they start getting it back in stock more often, if they ever do.. but it's hard, because the grass-fed ground beef that I used to get from trader joe's hasn't been tasting so good to me anymore. I just bought a dehydrator though, and I'm going to start making beef jerky from lower quality meats to sustain me until I can get fresh grass-fed steaks. The only problem is that the dehydrator, when assembled how it's supposed to be, reaches temperatures of up to 160 degrees F.. so I've had to modify it in a box so that the temperatures don't go over 120. Good thing I bought a thermometer. I still can't find a good source of grass-fed fats though, other than dairy, which I do consume a lot of.
I was able to gain most of my weight back, but then I think I must have developed an ulcer or something, because I would get a burning pain at the top of my stomach whenever I ate certain things.. and because of that, I started eating a lot less, and now I think I've lost my weight again. Luckily though, the ulcer or whatever it was has prevented me from eating anymore pizza, because I got really sick after I ate some raw vegan cookie, and it got so bad it made me puke.. and it makes me scared to death that eating any pizza will make me puke, too. I've also become extremely paranoid of anything containing soy or corn products, after reading about how GMO crops have been causing miscarriages in farm animals.. and infertility is one of my biggest fears. I'm also starting to become paranoid of pesticides in the fruit I eat, so I've only been buying fruits if they're organic now.
I also started making ice cream, using raw unpasteurized cream from grass-fed cows, raw honey as my sweetener, and either raw cacao powder or organic vanilla extract for flavourings, with a bit of cinnamon. It's pretty delicious, too, and I might even share some with my dad.. after I've finally perfected my ice cream making technique, since it's difficult making ice cream when it's so hot over here.
Another lucky thing is that I think I may be able to convince my grandpa to start on a raw animal foods diet.. He's always been open to weird diets and foods, and I remember I used to watch him eat raw eggs when I was a little girl. I at least convinced him to feed his new puppy on a raw meat diet, and after he's seen how much energy she's had on this diet, he's been seeming willing to try out eating a diet like hers.
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It's Kefir, but Qephor is the brand name of the raw kefir made from colostrum with russian kefir grains I can get from organic pastures. Dairy doesn't seem to affect me that badly.. but really, I was trying to leave out the dairy, I only added it back in recently to help with my stomach problems I was having. Those seem to be over now though, so after I run out of this dairy I won't buy anymore. And I bought more beef too, though. Been eating a pound of it a day instead of the 8 ounces i was before.
I would make the kefir myself its very easy and assures thruly raw fresh kefir every day. Has helped my health so much. I dont trust any commercial kefir brands no matter what they say.
About the hard to find raw animal fats. Shouldn't be that hard to get high qaulity organic eggs right? They're a great fat source. I hear a lot of people talk about ordering from slankers aint that an option for you? Util you are able to secure a high quality animal fat source i would at least eat 1 avocado daily. It ensures some raw fat other than dairy.
Regarding acne. Make sure you dont eat carbs and fat/protein together. Helped me get completely rid of my acne even before going raw. So yeah a pizza is the worst possible thing full of fake chees(unsaterated fat) and starch. Eat yourfruits at least 1 hr before or 45 min after any animal foods.
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Neither can I stand raw eggs, especially whites. But what I enjoy a lot is blended eggs yolks with a pint of sugar. If you blend it long enough it gets creamy consistence and ice-creamy taste. It is really delicious and nutritious.
Speaking of acne what helps me most is sun, limiting sweets intake and probably greens. However, it is a mistery for me too, even tough I spent plenty of time trying to finding out whats the reason behind it. Used to have troubles with acne in the past, but now ok and I do not even know why it improved. What troubles me know is post acne scars- they are hardly visible but very anoying because almost impossible to get rid of.
Good luck!
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Neither can I stand raw eggs, especially whites. But what I enjoy a lot is blended eggs yolks with a pint of sugar. If you blend it long enough it gets creamy consistence and ice-creamy taste. It is really delicious and nutritious.
Speaking of acne what helps me most is sun, limiting sweets intake and probably greens. However, it is a mistery for me too, even tough I spent plenty of time trying to finding out whats the reason behind it. Used to have troubles with acne in the past, but now ok and I do not even know why it improved. What troubles me know is post acne scars- they are hardly visible but very anoying because almost impossible to get rid of.
Good luck!
sugar with yolks sounds like the perfect acne aggravating food! Blending yolks will oxidize a lot of the fat. So your eating oxidized fat with sugar :o I only blend eggs with milk and with short pulses on low speed so the belder doesn't suck air through it but just stirs it real quick.
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I would make the kefir myself its very easy and assures thruly raw fresh kefir every day. Has helped my health so much. I dont trust any commercial kefir brands no matter what they say.
About the hard to find raw animal fats. Shouldn't be that hard to get high qaulity organic eggs right? They're a great fat source. I hear a lot of people talk about ordering from slankers aint that an option for you? Util you are able to secure a high quality animal fat source i would at least eat 1 avocado daily. It ensures some raw fat other than dairy.
Regarding acne. Make sure you dont eat carbs and fat/protein together. Helped me get completely rid of my acne even before going raw. So yeah a pizza is the worst possible thing full of fake chees(unsaterated fat) and starch. Eat yourfruits at least 1 hr before or 45 min after any animal foods.
Qephor isn't a commercial brand.. It is made by the same people who sell the raw milk I buy, it is raw and organic and from grass-fed cows. In any case, it is much too sour tasting for me, and I can't really drink it.
and like I said, I can't stand raw egg whites. Even lately the yolks alone have been grossing me out a bit, they don't taste nearly as good, I gag when I try to swallow them, and they even made my stomach hurt.. so I haven't really been eating eggs. Avocados are good though, I have been eating those sometimes, but not everyday unfortunately.
And I normally don't mix my foods together much. I at least eat my fruit completely separate from my other foods.
edit: I also avoid any refined sugars, and would not mix them with my eggs, nor would I want to blend my eggs as I heard it ruins them.
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I haven't posted here for a while.. I want to post what I was going to say in another thread, but it was rather long winded and somewhat off-topic so I will post it here instead.
I am not Muslim. I have always believed in God but I was raised Christian. I was never exposed to Muslim ideas until more recently when I found out someone I have known for a long time was Muslim. Even when Obama was being voted into office, and was being accused of being Muslim, I knew nothing of the religion, except that it was the religion that the terrorists promoted. But now I have learned that Muslims believe in the same God that Christians believe in, and from what I have seen and learned, it seems to me that Muslims are far more devoted to God than most, if not all of the Christians that I know. Reading about Islam I am now confused about what is true and what isn't.. so for this month of Ramadan I shall fast in the name of God, I will pray, and I will read the Bible and then the Quran to try to understand to the best of my ability, and to learn the truth.
Having been raised as a Christian woman in the modern USA, I was not raised to be very modest, especially by Islamic standards. I was raised being told that according to the Bible one should not have sex before marriage, yet my mother was one of those who assumed that I would be like most and lose my virginity in the teenage years, and would tell me in the event of it to use protection and blah blah, never much telling me exclusively not to have sex, although saying I shouldn't. I am grateful to the fact that I never lost my virginity however, but that had not as much to do with the way I was raised as my love for Wolves and that they mate for life. Although I was sheltered more than most, I was not exposed to much adult content, and I covered my eyes during kissing scenes in movies until I was probably around 12.. maybe even up to 15 years old.. or at least, I would look away during kissing scenes, even if I didn't cover my eyes.
I wish I had been raised more modestly though, that I should have been raised to cover myself more, and raised not to even desire to kiss a man before I am married to him.. for I went through a careless stage in my life and wasted my first kiss at the age of 19 to a man whom I do not love nor will probably ever see again, and I hate that I did. Although I am still a virgin, I wish I would have saved my first kiss and other things as well, but at the time I did not think it was wrong, for I had not been raised to think so. I was only raised to think that sex itself only was not to be done before marriage, but that everything else was okay. I wish the world was more modest and pure, and that sex wasn't something so obligatory for men in modern times, because I only want to be with a man who is a virgin as well. That pretty much cuts my choices down almost completely, especially the older I get.
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I was able to visit a Whole Foods on the way home from the beach with my mom last Thursday. I wish, I wish so much, that it was closer, that I could visit it every week, and buy all my grass-fed beef and cow parts from them. Last week I bought grass-fed sirloin, grass-fed beef marrow, and grass-fed beef liver from them.
Liver I had tried previously, but I did not like the taste, and it was commercial grain-fed, non organic liver. This grass-fed liver, I also do not really like the taste of.. although I can stand to swallow small pieces of it if I don't chew too much. I'm not sure of how healthy the liver is though, for I've heard that it should be bright red, whereas this liver is a slightly muddy red, so perhaps it is not the healthiest liver. I don't know if I would like liver from a perfectly healthy animal or not.
Marrow I had also tried previously, and it was also commercial grain-fed non organic cheap marrow that I tried, and I didn't like it. It had a very nasty smell embedded into the bones and reeking into the marrow which made it taste nasty and gross. This grass-fed marrow however, is absolutely delicious.. it tastes to me like butter and cream but without the dairy taste, a tad bit saltier I think from a bit of blood/juice in the marrow, and quite amazing. I am amazed at the difference in taste from the cheap commercial marrow to this grass-fed marrow, and I wish WF was closer so that I could buy this marrow more often.
My Birthday was on the 9th, and I allowed myself to indulge in whatever foods I wanted for that day.. My dad took me out to a japanese habachi restaurant that night and I drank a shirley temple soda(sprite mixed with cherry juice), and ate miso soup, fried rice, rare cooked steak, raw sashimi of salmon, albacore, and ahi tuna(my fave sushi), and noodles. Across the street was a Chocolate Factory, and I got from there a bunch of Chocolates to eat as well, including a chocolate brownie, oreo cookie bar, milk chocolate bar, and milk chocolate peanut butter cup. They also brought me a small bit of vanilla ice cream and whipped cream at the restaurant for my birthday which I ate some of. I still have leftover chocolates which I will finish off that bag tonight, with a bottle of raw milk, after the sun sets. After that I am going to try to go fully raw, and trying to switch to mainly raw animal foods, while recently I have been mainly raw fruit. Raw dairy will have to be my supplement of raw fat until and if I can return to whole foods again to buy more marrow and steak that hasn't had the fat trimmed off. I still have some marrow leftover though.
I think a diet with raw grass-fed steak, liver, and marrow, supplemented with a couple raw egg yolks, raw butter when my marrow runs out, and a little bit of raw fruit and raw honey as a treat and for hydration since I am fasting for Ramadan while driving a hot car with no a/c for work.. I think this diet should be good, and I will try to keep to it during Ramadan. I am also hoping that Ramadan can help regulate when I eat, so that I don't have to eat so often, since I heard it is better for carnivores to eat one big meal once a day rather than small meals throughout the day.
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I haven't posted here for a while.. I want to post what I was going to say in another thread, but it was rather long winded and somewhat off-topic so I will post it here instead.
I am not Muslim. I have always believed in God but I was raised Christian. I was never exposed to Muslim ideas until more recently when I found out someone I have known for a long time was Muslim. Even when Obama was being voted into office, and was being accused of being Muslim, I knew nothing of the religion, except that it was the religion that the terrorists promoted. But now I have learned that Muslims believe in the same God that Christians believe in, and from what I have seen and learned, it seems to me that Muslims are far more devoted to God than most, if not all of the Christians that I know. Reading about Islam I am now confused about what is true and what isn't.. so for this month of Ramadan I shall fast in the name of God, I will pray, and I will read the Bible and then the Quran to try to understand to the best of my ability, and to learn the truth.
Having been raised as a Christian woman in the modern USA, I was not raised to be very modest, especially by Islamic standards. I was raised being told that according to the Bible one should not have sex before marriage, yet my mother was one of those who assumed that I would be like most and lose my virginity in the teenage years, and would tell me in the event of it to use protection and blah blah, never much telling me exclusively not to have sex, although saying I shouldn't. I am grateful to the fact that I never lost my virginity however, but that had not as much to do with the way I was raised as my love for Wolves and that they mate for life. Although I was sheltered more than most, I was not exposed to much adult content, and I covered my eyes during kissing scenes in movies until I was probably around 12.. maybe even up to 15 years old.. or at least, I would look away during kissing scenes, even if I didn't cover my eyes.
I wish I had been raised more modestly though, that I should have been raised to cover myself more, and raised not to even desire to kiss a man before I am married to him.. for I went through a careless stage in my life and wasted my first kiss at the age of 19 to a man whom I do not love nor will probably ever see again, and I hate that I did. Although I am still a virgin, I wish I would have saved my first kiss and other things as well, but at the time I did not think it was wrong, for I had not been raised to think so. I was only raised to think that sex itself only was not to be done before marriage, but that everything else was okay. I wish the world was more modest and pure, and that sex wasn't something so obligatory for men in modern times, because I only want to be with a man who is a virgin as well. That pretty much cuts my choices down almost completely, especially the older I get.
From what I've read, now is a good age for you to get married. 23?
My sister got married at 23. My mom got married at 22.
Good time.
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From what I've read, now is a good age for you to get married. 23?
My sister got married at 23. My mom got married at 22.
Good time.
Yes, I am just hoping that my chosen mate will have me. We have known each other a long time and have been through a lot, but I don't know exactly how it his he feels about me. We have done things to hurt each other and I don't know if what I have done is too much for him to consider marrying me anymore. I will find out eventually, and when I do, it will be the deciding factor of what I will do with my life.
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He's nuts to take his time thinking about it:
Family oriented
Young
Pretty
Idealistic
Virgin
Healthy raw paleo dieter...
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He's nuts to take his time thinking about it:
Family oriented
Young
Pretty
Idealistic
Virgin
Healthy raw paleo dieter...
I'm actually probably not as family oriented as he might like, though I would be more so for my own family if I am able to have one with him. As for young, we are the same age, in fact he is actually younger than me by 3 months.. there are many other pretty girls, many of them prettier than me. I don't know how idealistic I am. I may be a virgin, but I have done other things with other men that he dislikes, which I understand because I hate that i have done it too, and he has not done anything with other women. And I think eating raw meat might gross him out. But I am not entirely sure. In any case, he doesn't care much for healthy eating.
He is picky of what girls he likes though, but I am just as picky with what kind of guys I like, if not more so. Especially since the only man I like is him. But it is not so much an issue of compatibility as it is an issue of history..
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"Married. Buried."
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"Married. Buried."
?
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?
Klowcarb has the complete opposite belief about marriage, children, and sexual exclusivity that you believe in.
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I have just been someone who has always wanted to love, to love one man and be with him always.
but today I received this quote..
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/SrIacIovv/screenshots/Untitled2.png)
that someone posted anonymously on one of the sites I am on.
it means he has not forgotten..
and all my own happiness is now gone.
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Klowcarb has the complete opposite belief about marriage, children, and sexual exclusivity that you believe in.
I was joking. It is a line from a Nirvana song. Good Samaritan, I do want to get married, and I always practice sexual exclusivity when I am in a relationship. I just do not want children.