also donor milk is not an option because the hospital pasteurizes the donor milk before they give it to the baby and the wont let him even have it .
You can also look for a wet nurse. A friend did this.
And my grandma used to say that when the baby is too weak to stimulate milk sucking action... it's the husband's duty to do so.
Get in a natural foods playgroup. The mothers meet with the babies regularly, usually all are breastfed babies. One or two mothers can go run errands, and if the babies they left with the other mothers need feeding, there you go! The milk is unpasteurized and straight from the source.
GS, in La Leche they recommend readying the nipples for feeding by rubbing them with a coarse towel and exposing them to the sun. These are my experiences.
Baby spending time on your or his mother's bare chest and stomach should help entrain him to to your heartbeat and breathing. Babies need this.
Yes, get that rod out of her arm, if she will agree. Suiren is right, those hormones prevent breastmilk. Medical doctors in my experience are ignorant that breast milk exists, they seem to think it's a fairy tale about something that has never been since the dawn of time.
Unheated honey has not only been tolerated well by small infants, but it has been helpful. I would think the same think women have done for millenia would help, putting honey on the nipples to atrract the new baby to nurse, who doesn't know how etc trouble latching on. Touch the nipple to the baby's cheek. He will turn to nurse. This is an infantile reflex.