I had some interesting, profound dreams tonight. Oscilanting between incredibly pleasant and nightmarish. Lots of emotions from fear, hate and persecucion to incredible beauty, tenderness and love.
It's been such a long time of illness that I didn't even remember what love felt like. And now it looks like finally I'm recovering my mind.
It's so complicated to talk about having mental issues since it all deals with an ontological realm which people rarely find use in mapping or talking about. It's easy to say my leg hurts, and having others imagine or recreate this. However, saying that you can't feel due to biological reasons... it's almost impossible to get across.
The religious legacy of seeing the mind-emotions as separate from the body makes it almost impossible to talk about disease. If you feel biologically depressed, they assure it's because of negative thinking or emotional distress, etc.
I tried so hard to communicate to my family what I was experiencing, and failed miserably. Ex. I developed authism which impaired greatly my ability to communicate, they would only see it as "he doesn't want to communicate, he's being anti-social".
End of rant.
This days have been difficult, but it indeed looks like it's because of some healing taking place as I suspected. It's still pretty hard to go to work with all this swings in mental states, recent blood-sugar episodes and still erratic digestive behavior.
I'm just doing my best to keep productive in spite of this and do my best to eat as well as I can. Having lots of liver and beef fat; drinking green juices; getting lots of seafood on the weekend;eggs; saurkraut; seeds.
![](http://41.media.tumblr.com/0a3994da27468d276f75d389d1744a17/tumblr_nloowtUFsX1tixvjto1_1280.jpg)
This is what my lunch looks like.
Another big change in behavior. Did some research and experimentation and I'm taking EMF seriously now. Has made a definite role in the last days in my healing.
It's feels so strange having emotions again, I don't even remember how to live with them anymore.