Thanks for book link Cinna! I haven't read Rosenberg's work but will add it to the list. You're keeping me busy! My own thoughts on non-violent communication, as always, has really just stemmed from my own experiences, work, observations and reflections. I do have various books on buddhism, taoism, Gandhi etc but, like many of my vast library of books, have only found the time to dip in and out of them. I live in hope that the wealth of knowledge at my fingertips will somehow diffuse into my spirit without the need to physically read the information!
Oh my goodness, you don't have to read the book at all - from what you had written, I really thought that you had read the book. My favorite parts of NVC are being in control of yourself and how you respond to someone (not letting your feelings/behavior be manipulated, even if one is being hostile/critical/judgmental, etc. towards you); truly connecting with someone and his/her needs; and especially, not having to necessarily apologize or be sorry. We can "hear someone out," but not feel guilt/shame regardless of their feelings/judgments about us. That last concept was pretty revolutionary to me.
I found a few Marshall Rosenberg quotes online:
"Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met."
"I'm interested in learning that's motivated by reverence for life, that's motivated by a desire to learn skills, to learn new things that help us to better contribute to our own well-being and the well-being of others. And what fills me with great sadness is any learning that I see motivated by coercion."
"Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need."
"All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished."
"We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain."
"Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values."
These quotes don't do justice to the book - it truly is brilliant. I recommend the book to those who have to deal with difficult people and are interested in dealing with them in a highly compassionate way.
It's a bit of a practice, a discipline, an art.
I find all the information available in the world overwhelming. I can only dip in and out of books as well... I don't think you need to physically read much information. I think I mentioned to you before, you access infinite wisdom just great.