Author Topic: Need advice on raising happy children  (Read 2704 times)

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Offline zbr5

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Need advice on raising happy children
« on: March 17, 2014, 02:52:59 am »
6 months ago I became a father of beautiful boy.

We are usually trained in math and science but no one teaches us probably most importand endavour on this planet - how to raise children.

People usually assume they know what is best for children or they just subsconsciously copy how it is done by their parents or enviroment.

I would like to actually open my mind and welcome  advice what I can provide to my boy so he will be happy person in this crazy modern world.

By "provide" i mean both food and non-food.

So far I have read "children: the challenge" and "Parent effectivness training" - two absolutely wonderful and helpful books.

Besides, I would like my boy to join scouts when he is old enough - it is great for learning social skills, self-discipline and connection to nature.

I would also like to provide him very healthy diet that is based mostly on fat of good quality (obviously ;))

Because I am my own boss, I can take as much vacation as I want to, so I would like him to travel with me so he could know this planet better.

What else is important?


Offline TylerDurden

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Re: Need advice on raising happy children
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2014, 03:29:57 am »
Err, a mother?  ;)

Don't spoil him too much  as he will then become a tyrant. Don't make the same mistakes my parents made! (ie give him some decent pocket-money from early on, do not impose too many rules such as banning TV etc., try to generate independence/self-reliance  in him as soon as possible and do NOT expect him to do the same sort of career as you! In short, let him learn by making his own mistakes and successes in life). If you cannot do a sport, it's no excuse not to get your child taught to do sport. My uncle  always hated sport as a child, then he lost a leg in the war as a teenager, and so he later refused to take his own children out to ski or do any suitable other sport, which rather ruined their childhood a bit.
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Offline zbr5

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Re: Need advice on raising happy children
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2014, 03:46:48 am »
Thanks TD, much appreciated!


Offline eveheart

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Re: Need advice on raising happy children
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2014, 07:20:35 am »
I raised three happy children, and now they are raising their own happy children. Books like Children, the Challenge and Parent Effectiveness Training were the two books I used 40 years ago. They teach parents how to be understanding, kind, patient, and consistent. Never get into a power struggle with a child. Children will learn to behave  with you the way you behave with them. Remember to speak gently.

My own upbringing was not a happy one due to my mother's drug addiction and mental illness, so I had to learn parenting from the ground up. Those two books were sufficient.

My children were raised in large cities where organized lessons were offered. Right now, my 4 1/2-year old granddaughter goes to music school, ballet classes, soccer league, t-ball (like baseball) league, and swimming lessons in the city. (Some of those are seasonal, not all at once.) My 2-year old grandson is being raised in the mountains. His education consists of shadowing his father and doing all the man-stuff with tools, fishing rods, etc. Any activities, formal or informal, are good for children, as long as they are included in something.

Being a good listener and observer helps you tune in to your child's interests. If you pay attention, you will see your child's personality traits and preferences from a very early age.

Above all, remember that children learn by playing. Treat everything like a game - especially proper behavior - and you will be able to handle all sorts of resistance from your child.
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

Offline goodsamaritan

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Re: Need advice on raising happy children
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2014, 12:12:14 pm »
Me and my wife's strategy:

- give them siblings.
- throw away the TV... too much crap on TV... brainwashing, programming propaganda
- enroll them in a Waldorf School / Steiner education
- no junk food, best paleo diet home cooked meals / some raw we can come up with
- stay away from the western medicine / pharmaceutical industry... no vaccines... no drugs
- live in an extended family in compound with grandparents and aunts and near cousins and visit cousins
- get them into music, playing instruments.
- later on hopefully get into sports... they're doing gymnastics now.
- later on teach them sex, help them find mates and promise to help raise their children
- go on vacations
- make more money
- don't get divorced, show children your affection for your mate and show them affection as well.
- smack them when needed to correct what needs correcting
- be creative, do not nag.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2014, 12:48:58 pm by goodsamaritan »
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