Author Topic: Vague question  (Read 30757 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline eveheart

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,315
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2013, 10:41:53 pm »
Your reply doesn't give any hint as to what you want to do, but it does betray a lot of internal obstacles. If you free yourself of these obstacles, you will be able to move forward.

So, what is the "unmentionable" plan, how much will it cost, what education will you need for it.
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

Offline jessica

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,032
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2013, 11:06:05 pm »
also the way things work out you really just need to be super specific about what you want. 

in your spare time write out detailed lists, contacts you need to make, supplies, budgets, networking ans educational opportunities, or what ever else apply.  goals, personal and professional, and things you can do in the interim to start building towards what you want to create for yourself.

best(and really only) achieved by trail and error, but if you can start to really break that down you might find that the resources and connections start coming available or seem more attainable.  people don't just happen upon the lives that best suit them or gain them by avoiding faiure, they work hard and are willing to take risks and learn lessons, that's just how that goes, you have to have faith in yourself and in others to support you, the more you trust yourself and make moves towards creating a good life for yourself, the more others will support that, just the way it works.

Offline sabertooth

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,124
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #27 on: July 18, 2013, 11:41:33 pm »
I've been learning how to pole dance, and am three days away from my the next performance. It may take another year before I am skilled enough to try out for the vagas strip. With hard work and some good trainers I may be good enough to do some male reviews locally for some extra money.  Ive been asked to perform at a strip club for an all ladies Superbowl party.

Its just a suggestion, but Tyler could always work on developing his masculine whiles and land a wealthy cougar to fund his business ventures.
A man who makes a beast of himself, forgets the pain of being a man.

Offline goodsamaritan

  • Administrator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 8,808
  • Gender: Male
  • Geek Healer Truth Seeker Pro-Natal Pro-Life
    • View Profile
    • Filipino Services Inc.
Re: Vague question
« Reply #28 on: July 19, 2013, 12:41:21 am »
>> Ive been asked to perform at a strip club for an all ladies Superbowl party.

Ah the pitfalls of being healthy... the opportunities!  You must post a video of this here.
Linux Geek, Web Developer, Email Provider, Businessman, Engineer, REAL Free Healer, Pro-Life, Pro-Family, Truther, Ripple-XRP Fan

I'm the network administrator.
My business: Website Dev & Hosting and Email Server Provider,
My blogs: Cure Manual, My Health Blog, Eczema Cure & Psoriasis Cure

Offline jessica

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,032
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #29 on: July 19, 2013, 04:03:16 am »
these are always questions I ask myself when I am at a transitional point.  first I relax and step back

why do I want to change, what is bothering me?
is it physical, mental, does it have to do with the environment that I am in or the relationships that I have?
is where I am effecting my health? happiness?
in what ways can I improve those issues incrementally?  where can I ask for help? have I tried to resolve these in the past with no change?

what would be better? what would make me happier? healthier? what relationships do I need to make, where do I need to be, what do I need to learn that would help me make these changes?

you cant be afraid of failure! that's where everyone fucks up, they get scared and they get stuck.  you will fail, that's the only way you learn in life.  don't get stuck in limited thinking due to fear.  if you have done something or lived some way for years it takes a long time to break habits of thinking, just like SAD-raw paleo, but you have to take that leap of faith, if you intuitively know you need to make a change, don't let your "rational" scared mind talk you out of it and build barriers and walls.

Offline bookittyrun

  • Bear Hunter
  • ****
  • Posts: 184
  • Gender: Male
  • smart enough to play dumb...
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #30 on: July 19, 2013, 11:14:14 am »
i will apologize in advance if this post is blunt, brash, or innappropriate.

"also the way things work out you really just need to be super specific about what you want."

"Your reply doesn't give any hint as to what you want to do, but it does betray a lot of internal obstacles. If you free yourself of these obstacles, you will be able to move forward.
So, what is the "unmentionable" plan, how much will it cost, what education will you need for it."
(eveheart, you are always very perceptive)

"help us narrow it down, and change this from a vague question, to a pointed, directed question."

i'm starting to think that this is a vague question, because you have yet to identify what it is to ask...



"About the only thing I can do self-employed without lots of cash is to sell online. Even ebay is getting too expensive, these days, though....."

"The sad fact is that I would like to be self-employed in some way but my younger brother has stolen my entire inheritance. I don't have the funds therefore to do what I really want to do."

i'm also getting the impression this "vague question" has less to do with personal satisfaction in your current work environment, and more to do with something deep - seeded...  if money was the bottom line, you'd do whatever you needed, without making excuses (even if that meant being as (reportedly) unethical as your brother) in your endeavor to secure funding for yourself.  i think i sense some resentment towards yourself, and the situation you choose to keep yourself in.   some soul searching and self evaluation may be a good first step, and once you identify the things that hold you back (because it's not money, or the lack thereof) you can move forward with asking for help. 

vague questions can only bring vague answers, mr durden.
"it'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease!"  spongebob squarepants

Offline Inger

  • Chief
  • *****
  • Posts: 937
  • Gender: Female
  • 38 yo Norwegian RVAF s.-06, 90% carniv.
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #31 on: July 19, 2013, 02:16:25 pm »
Maybe you just have to jump... and develop  wings on the way down? That is what I am doing now. I am just jumping out in nowhere. But sure I know what I want. So I have a direction to what I look for. To live by my parents forever, obeying their weird religious rules.. and taking care of their animals and being stuck without money is just no option. Ok, very safe, but that is not what makes me happy. I need freedom.

I have this picture in my mind how I put my life on fire. The smoke that arises from it carry me higher and higher on my wings... and I get this amazing view.. wow it is so beautiful up here

I think Jessica made some good points and what to question  :)
« Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 03:39:02 pm by TylerDurden »

Offline wodgina

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,304
  • Opportunistic Carnivore
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #32 on: July 28, 2013, 08:26:57 am »
The sad fact is that I would like to be self-employed in some way but my younger brother has stolen my entire inheritance. I don't have the funds therefore to do what I really want to do.

That sucks mate something similiar happened to me unfortunately I was a little naive? but being paranoid would be worse. I know a 100 million dollar anire and he thinks everyone's an arsehole and he is completely paranoid. He hates everyone.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2013, 08:31:52 am by TylerDurden »
“Integrity has no need of rules.”

Albert Camus

Offline jessica

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,032
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #33 on: July 28, 2013, 01:00:06 pm »
wodg quit talking so bad about yourself, theres gotta be someone you like

tyler, isn't the idea of being self employed that you generate enough capital to get by on your own?  why do you need an inheritance to start? come up with an idea, make it "real" and write it out, time lines, supplies, costs, whatever, find some one who is doing something similar and wants to work in the same direction, or not, or just network to find resources, get loans, grants, some kind of support.....

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,016
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Vague question
« Reply #34 on: July 28, 2013, 02:14:48 pm »
I dare not take the risk of loans. Besides, loans require a property etc. to back them and I now don't have that any more.
"During the last campaign I knew what was happening. You know, they mocked me for my foreign policy and they laughed at my monetary policy. No more. No more.
" Ron Paul.

Offline jessica

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,032
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #35 on: July 28, 2013, 08:58:53 pm »
well you are going to have to loan something, ill send you some of my freewheeling courage if you want, 0% interest for the first 18 months.  But if you network and find like minded folks or folks who think what you are doing is valueable, which you will generally have to find anyway to create a successful "self" employment, you can see what they can loan you, time, ideas, maybe financial backing, that's why its really important to make mock up plans and share them.  even if they aren't perfect, that is how you refine something, just like any skill or even like your personal diet.

also you have to get out of the idea that "self" employment means you are a closed system, generating capital as an individual with no imputs from outside sources.  there are no examples of this happening anywhere in the universe.  you are going to have to be open to and depend on people you may not fully know in ways that you may not have done for anyone but your family. they may not fully get it and situations may not be perfect to start.  you have to have trust in yourself and others, and have the flexibility  and resilience to be willing to fail and try again or you will just be stuck right where you are. 

A good start would be to just write out a feasibility plan with all of you needs and how to fulfill them, where you need more resources, education, time frames,  things you already have that contribute and find someone who you can go over this with, someone who is in a similar employment situation or whatever, you have to let other people help you and be open.

Offline eveheart

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,315
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #36 on: July 28, 2013, 11:54:05 pm »
I've started successful businesses before, and I think the suggestions that Jessica made are excellent. I started from zero the first time. Once you step off the cliff, your creative momentum forges a path for you.

One of my chief motivators was the loss of my inheritance. Yes, it happens all the time. My inner strength comes from the saying, "Success is the best revenge." (Frank Sinatra put it this way, "The best revenge is massive success." The alternative is bitter resentment. Which do you want in your life: unstoppable success or obliterating bitterness. I hope you can see your choices plainly and pick the path to contentment.
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,016
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Vague question
« Reply #37 on: July 29, 2013, 12:23:29 am »
The err, slight catch is that 4 out of 5 businesses fail within the first five years. At least, that's the statistic I read. At the moment, I'm hopefully reading delusional books about earning millions selling on ebay etc., but  I am a cynic/realist. Of course, if I did become successfully self-employed, the likelihood would be that I would just barely break even the first few years before finally becoming truly solvent and independent and free.

So, what were your past successful self-employed businesses , if I might be so bold? Then again, I can't imagine anyone giving away  business secrets for free!

Hmm, I could  still do that rawpalaeo e-book, but it'll take a bit more effort to do a serious, original work than to just glean stuff from online data.
"During the last campaign I knew what was happening. You know, they mocked me for my foreign policy and they laughed at my monetary policy. No more. No more.
" Ron Paul.

Offline bookittyrun

  • Bear Hunter
  • ****
  • Posts: 184
  • Gender: Male
  • smart enough to play dumb...
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #38 on: July 29, 2013, 02:01:04 am »
"The err, slight catch is that 4 out of 5 businesses fail within the first five years. At least, that's the statistic I read."

then have the attitude of being the one that succeeds.  i wonder if that statistic is (interpretively) "true" based on most people who start a business, don't have the foresight to look beyond 5 years.  come up with an 8, or 10 year plan for success. 

less doubt, more thoughtful risk, and ambition.

personally, i think statistics are for chumps.  paying attention to things like that brings doubt.

go for it!     :)
"it'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease!"  spongebob squarepants

Offline jessica

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,032
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #39 on: July 29, 2013, 03:21:31 am »
nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Offline jessica

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,032
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #40 on: July 29, 2013, 03:38:02 am »
ps maybe 4 in 5 are failures because people are not identifying a specific niche and also something they can provide that is original or that is part of their specific specialization.  I mean if you are just going to follow the idea directly out of a book and not come up with an original idea you are just lining up to be number 5 in the equation.

Offline eveheart

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,315
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #41 on: July 29, 2013, 06:26:00 am »
The err, slight catch is that 4 out of 5 businesses fail within the first five years. At least, that's the statistic I read. At the moment, I'm hopefully reading delusional books about earning millions selling on ebay etc., but  I am a cynic/realist. Of course, if I did become successfully self-employed, the likelihood would be that I would just barely break even the first few years before finally becoming truly solvent and independent and free.

So, what were your past successful self-employed businesses , if I might be so bold? Then again, I can't imagine anyone giving away  business secrets for free!

Hmm, I could  still do that rawpalaeo e-book, but it'll take a bit more effort to do a serious, original work than to just glean stuff from online data.

Ditto what bookittyrun said: be the one in five who succeeds. You already have that success drive. Look at your health victories and the forums you have created! These are the work of a masterful person.

How to start a successful business is not a secret. First, research what people want/need and match that to your passions and abilities. Learn from others who are doing what you want to do. If you will need a new ability, acquire it. Your business plan will include all your thinking about how, when, why, etc. If you are thorough in your planning, you will avoid unplanned emergencies that drive businesses to failure. If you find an offer that says "get rich quick" or "make millions," walk the other direction; these offers are usually making money for the promoters, at your expense.

My c.v.: In the late 1970s, I was a work-at-home mother. I did accountant/secretary-for-hire jobs. In 1980, I started a company that brokered contract programmers for IBM mainframe computers. I sold that company to one of the programmers in 1985; it is still in existence. Right after that, I started a business that I ended up disliking, so I closed it after a few years. In 1989, I started a home inspection service. I sold that company in 1997 to one of the inspectors, who retired this year.

I am not self-employed now. After my children were grown, I returned to school to pursue an old career dream, which is what I do now. Even though I work for others, I have complete autonomy doing what I love best of all.

I read a lot of your personal agony in this thread. Agony is a normal part of being human, but it would be a good idea to learn how to process those feelings so that they don't hinder your success. In my case, I have good friends that I can talk to when I'm feeling low, and that gets me over my bad feelings. Life is like a long swim in a turbulent ocean, so if you don't get rid of your resentments, they will act like concrete boots, and you will sink.
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

Offline wodgina

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,304
  • Opportunistic Carnivore
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #42 on: July 29, 2013, 05:32:28 pm »
One of the thing
wodg quit talking so bad about yourself, theres gotta be someone you like

tyler, isn't the idea of being self employed that you generate enough capital to get by on your own?  why do you need an inheritance to start? come up with an idea, make it "real" and write it out, time lines, supplies, costs, whatever, find some one who is doing something similar and wants to work in the same direction, or not, or just network to find resources, get loans, grants, some kind of support.....

I know lol , I gotta stop doing that

“Integrity has no need of rules.”

Albert Camus

Offline goodsamaritan

  • Administrator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 8,808
  • Gender: Male
  • Geek Healer Truth Seeker Pro-Natal Pro-Life
    • View Profile
    • Filipino Services Inc.
Re: Vague question
« Reply #43 on: July 29, 2013, 08:56:44 pm »
The err, slight catch is that 4 out of 5 businesses fail within the first five years. At least, that's the statistic I read. At the moment, I'm hopefully reading delusional books about earning millions selling on ebay etc., but  I am a cynic/realist. Of course, if I did become successfully self-employed, the likelihood would be that I would just barely break even the first few years before finally becoming truly solvent and independent and free.

So, what were your past successful self-employed businesses , if I might be so bold? Then again, I can't imagine anyone giving away  business secrets for free!

Hmm, I could  still do that rawpalaeo e-book, but it'll take a bit more effort to do a serious, original work than to just glean stuff from online data.

You just need to dream on, plan and do it.
Of course it is different strokes for different folks.
Learn from elders.  Eve's experience is wonderful.
My business feeds the kids and sends them to private schools.
As for those books that teach how to make millions, they are just like all the health books you buy with those who have succeeded and wish to share their success. 

Just see how stumped normal folk would be if we wrote health books.  All those people we had helped be cured of otherwise incurable diseases. Normal folk think it's too hard.

I'm a fan of those books and see how possible they all are.

I grew up in an entrepreneural family and can't imagine getting a normal salary which isnt much in my country.
Linux Geek, Web Developer, Email Provider, Businessman, Engineer, REAL Free Healer, Pro-Life, Pro-Family, Truther, Ripple-XRP Fan

I'm the network administrator.
My business: Website Dev & Hosting and Email Server Provider,
My blogs: Cure Manual, My Health Blog, Eczema Cure & Psoriasis Cure

Offline Wai Kai Zen

  • Buffalo Hunter
  • ***
  • Posts: 135
  • Gender: Male
  • Raw Knowledge and Experience
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #44 on: July 29, 2013, 09:26:53 pm »
I feel for me I started to get succesfull in life after I failed like 1000 times.
Because the more I failed.. the less I got concerned with it.. no more fear for failure.

People around you (those you know and those you dont know) might give you a hard time or laugh at you or whatever.
But if you just go on anyway and fight everyday for what you want.. than at least you can be proud of trying.
My grandpa once told me that it wasnt untill his 40s that he stopped being scared for doing what he wanted to do.. after that he had a succesfull business and has been the happiest he has ever been. The only thing he regrets is that it took him so long before he stopped being scared.

All or nothing man.. get rich or die trying.
Reminder to myself:
Search for truth, not dogma.

Offline Wai Kai Zen

  • Buffalo Hunter
  • ***
  • Posts: 135
  • Gender: Male
  • Raw Knowledge and Experience
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #45 on: July 29, 2013, 09:47:52 pm »
Here.. a video that I think is very inspirational.
Its from a man who has lived on the street for 2 years and had nothing.
Now he is a very succesful motivational coach and this man talks about what it takes to be succesful.

http://youtu.be/CDFC16ptx-0
« Last Edit: July 29, 2013, 11:04:55 pm by TylerDurden »
Reminder to myself:
Search for truth, not dogma.

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,016
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Vague question
« Reply #46 on: July 30, 2013, 12:17:06 am »
Thanks, eveheart. I will try to get rid of the resentments but it is very difficult given the past non-health-related problems I've had to endure.

I appreciate all comments, but have to admit I am extremely leery of those stating "follow your dream" and similiar  empty aphorisms. I have a cousin who "followed her dream" of being in the film-industry, for example. To date, she has mostly worked in low-paid jobs involving checking film-scripts and the like, and has never once managed to sell any of the film-scripts she herself wrote. I'd rather have a decent amount of(or a lot of)  money and do a job I hated and just immerse myself in my hobbies and sports  and holidays etc.

I suppose I am somewhat naive in wishing that someone could give me a detailed business-plan, complete with dozens of points, on how to set up a particular business and make it work. The other problem is that being self-employed usually requires great social skills which I ain't got.
"During the last campaign I knew what was happening. You know, they mocked me for my foreign policy and they laughed at my monetary policy. No more. No more.
" Ron Paul.

Offline Wai Kai Zen

  • Buffalo Hunter
  • ***
  • Posts: 135
  • Gender: Male
  • Raw Knowledge and Experience
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #47 on: July 30, 2013, 12:24:40 am »
For me.. I need to fulfill my dreamcareer.. I want it really bad.
Sure there are Always obstacles.. but there are ways to get around them or overcome them.

As long as your happy with where you are at then you are doing great :).
However, if your not.. you gotta at least try to pursuit something..
Reminder to myself:
Search for truth, not dogma.

Offline eveheart

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,315
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Vague question
« Reply #48 on: July 30, 2013, 02:40:17 am »
Thanks, eveheart. I will try to get rid of the resentments but it is very difficult given the past non-health-related problems I've had to endure.

Yes, it is very difficult to get rid of resentments. However, the pay-off is huge. There is a saying, "Holding on to a resentment is like ingesting poison and hoping the other person will die." The irony is that you are only killing yourself. Resentment prevents you from getting on with your life, so the scoundrel that wronged you goes on with business as usual, and you are stuck in a rut that you designed.

Quote
I appreciate all comments, but have to admit I am extremely leery of those stating "follow your dream" and similiar  empty aphorisms. I have a cousin who "followed her dream" of being in the film-industry, for example. To date, she has mostly worked in low-paid jobs involving checking film-scripts and the like, and has never once managed to sell any of the film-scripts she herself wrote. I'd rather have a decent amount of(or a lot of)  money and do a job I hated and just immerse myself in my hobbies and sports  and holidays etc.

A dream job has to have economic value. I have many dreams without economic value, and I follow those, too - after I earn my living. Those dreams are my pastimes and hobbies.

Quote
I suppose I am somewhat naive in wishing that someone could give me a detailed business-plan, complete with dozens of points, on how to set up a particular business and make it work. The other problem is that being self-employed usually requires great social skills which I ain't got.

The act of planning your business is what gives the business plan its value. The creativity you employ breathes life into the business. As far as what to select, I personally hold to the idea that you must love it. I've met plenty of people who work for themselves in non-public positions. One woman had a backyard filled with bathtubs in which she dyed fabrics for customers. Accountants, tax preparers, researchers can all get by without social skills.

I'm still wondering what you really want to do, if you have a clear picture of it.
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,016
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Vague question
« Reply #49 on: July 30, 2013, 04:10:39 am »
Accountants do need to use social skills judging from some other forums I've checked.

I still have no real idea what to do.  I feel empty.

The trouble is that if I do things I love, it likely won't work. For example, I love dogs despite not having had the opportunity to have a pet. Being a dog-breeder only really works well if one either has certain dogs running in dog shows or if one has a puppy mill where one treats the dozens of dogs like sh*t. Hmm, I suppose a dog breeder feeding his animals on raw might work(?) but would be bloody expensive. Most pet-owners don't care about their animals and happily feed their pets on kibble etc., so finding the right clientele would be damned difficult.
"During the last campaign I knew what was happening. You know, they mocked me for my foreign policy and they laughed at my monetary policy. No more. No more.
" Ron Paul.

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk