Botulism is one of the most dangerous/deadly types of food poisoning. Totally agree with what Tyler said and want to pass along that canned food is usually the culprit from this type of food poisoning. If your cooked food friend is concerned tell him to be picky and not choose cans with dents/pin pricks/rust or bulging/lids they are all high risk. Home canning of low acid (like green beans, one of my old favorites) cooked foods can be problematic as well.
   Raw canning, for pickles and sauerkraut is safe because they are very acidic, especially if lacto-fermented, or Kiefer whey.
    The raw honey and baby thing used to upset me, but now I avoid carbs so that seems better for babies to avoid it too. Again it is linked to acid, the botulism in the soil is transmitted to bees so it gets in they're honey. The form is different from other types of food poisoning (sorry I don't understand this well), and is safe after our stomachs produce acid, 1 year and older.
    A sweet girl I worked with suffered from it after eating canned soup. She tries hard to be healthy (although we have different ideas of what is healthy),  so she was miffed about landing in the hospital after eating soup.
   Interestingly, she was always a little pudgy, but after the food poisoning (which I don't recommend), she has been slender. I for weeks I figured she would gain it back, but it's been over a year, and I wonder if the bacteria exposure affected her figure long term.

How do you ferment your fish? I haven't had good luck with making high fish, but I'd really like to try it.

my turn, Ele I want you to read every word. This took me a long time to write. Read it 2x. Its solid gold to you now.
   I know exactly how you feel. I was under 100lbs , and I'm 5'8'', before I broke down and took insulin. I went 3 years before I broke, I'm no sissy, more like a bit too stubborn.
    Don't you dare commit suicide;  you're going to heal, and if you let me I'm going to help you. ?Tomorrow, Thursday, let me know when you can skype or gmail chat and we'll have a heart to heart. I have very little good news for you, but I'm going to give you the realistic basics, in case you don't read further.
  You could heal, without taking insulin, but it requires 10x the effort, and as demanding as your life sounds, you just don't have it. I think you could come off in a month or 2, but you'll be sick for a lot longer if you try to do it all natural, because, you will almost defiantly cheat, because your body is starving and it can't feed itself much until your sugar comes down. Raw ZC, rest, dark, cold, and tons of water with electrolytes, like mixed with seaweed, will help, but it will take so long that I think you will binge, and /or cheat with sugar. I've been a diabetic under stress for 17years, I know this. Take a little insulin, you could go to a clinic, learn to take shots, by regular insulin (it's cheaper) and take a little while you eat ZC, has to be ZC!!!! and high fat, and you CAN'T CHEAT AT ALL, or you'll feel like shit and have to start all over. I'm not sure how long it will take, at least 1 month, maybe 3, but not much more, if you can be very strong, and focus on your self. Then, you'll be much stronger and be able to give from your abundance.
    Do not exercise!!! Barefoot your dead wrong. Ele, it feels good because you're so sick it's killing you and your cortisol (stress hormone) shoots up from the stress. It feels good when that happens for about an hour, maybe 2. The steroid, feels like energy, your joints move without pain, but it lasts only a few short hours and then your dead on your feet and eating do to the sugar spike from the, fake energy high you just enjoyed. After your blood sugar is good around 100 you can exercise. Months from now, you can exercise exactly as barefoot says, for now his good advise stops after barefoot (sorry barefoot, I like you lots, but you don't get it).  Rest as much as you can. Rest your body and your mind, give your worries to the universe, when they come, train your mind to find peace. Say what real choice do I have? And let it go. Play meditation tapes, even if it means EMF's but that does stink, sorry I hate the EMF's too. I'm struggle with that, they are so prevalent in my life, I feel them so strong, but don't go to crazy with that yet. Your bath tub is a grounding experience if the house has a grounding rod ( try cool, but comfortable water, for a long soak, then cold at the end). I', going to try Inger's copper grounding rod to bed too, but don't worry about every cell phone in the area, if it is easy to control do it, if not let it go for a month or 2 and then get back to it. You are young. You will heal quickly, and then you will be able to think and act efficiently, now you're a mess.
  The next thing I'm going to say is going to sound crazy, but it's true. You're not skinny, in fact your fat. Your body won't burn fat as long as your blood sugar is high. It can't burn carbs without insulin and your not making enough now, so your body is digesting it's muscles for their protein, to make energy through gluconeogenisis. You can't absorb carbs, and your breaking down your muscles and even organ tissue, so all that will be left of you is fat. Don't bother learning about it, please just trust me. I really know this. Your just dehydrated, severely dehydrated. I gained 50lbs the day I took insulin. THAT DAY!!! I see it every time a new diabetic comes to the hospital. They take insulin and every drop of water is sucked up by their body. You'll be shockingly swollen, it's uncomfortable for about 3 weeks, but if you eat zc, drink tons of water especially with seaweed, and eat all of the clams, oysters, and anything else with sea water. Your cells will heal and they only then, will release the excess water. I don't know if it would work to just collect sea water and dilute it with as good a quality water as you can get. I add good quality dirt to my home made distilled water. It's not as good as spring water, but its the best I can manage for now. Dehydration is a serious problem and all of the fluid you put back into your cells should be the best you can get.  The weight will come off and it is mostly water, but your cells need to swell as part of the healing, keep drinking water only, take a little insulin (you have to use your blood sugar meter if you do take insulin, or you won't know when you don't need it and you'll have lows and have to eat sugar, or die immediately), and rest. Resting will help you to loose weight, so will dark, and cold, and barefoot on the earth, or in the sea, and sun is good too, all to help balance hormones. Insulin is a hormone and the faster you balance the faster you will loose the water weight. When the water comes off you are really healing, keep taking insulin, if you need it to keep your BS at under 130. Over 130 and the cravings will attack. You need to keep it over 75. I like to stay over 80, or you could start with cravings from a little low. 100 is the sweetest spot, it feels like peace, it is better than raw chocolate. Through that shit out.

OK next is the long list of what not to eat.    Eat as much raw or minimally cooked as possible.
No beans, not even green, the only vegetables you can eat for about 3 good months are: anything from the sea and as much of that as you want. Not more than 1 small bowl of greens of any type raw, and only 1/2 if cooked ( you loose all of the water that you need, if you must cook them, because they are tough, cook them in a lot of water (like 2quarts or more, and add oil (olive/coconut/lard) and drink all of the water first then eat the greens). You can also have any herbs you like to season, or in tea. Sometimes stress gets to me and I think I'll loose it if I don't crunch on something. Eat radishes, broccoli, and /or cauliflower, but not for health, just to ease the need to crunch.  Your fermented veggies, are ok too, but no beets, or carrots, just pickles, greens, and sauerkraut and only a fork-full/meal. No eggs, no butter, or dairy, not even fermented, no grain, no sugar, no carbs, no nuts, no avocados, no caffeine, if you're a big caffeine addict, go to green tea and wean off as fast as you can. After your off insulin and your blood sugar is perfect you can eat the good healthy foods in moderation, and if you must cheat a little do it then, not now. PROMISE YOURSELF, you'll get through each day, one moment at a time, get a calendar and mark it. The first 3 weeks will be the worst, then it will slowly get better. If you insist on no insulin, and I totally understand (remember I fought insulin for 3 years, and hated myself every time I cheated, but the insulin, will take away the horrible cravings and nothing else will except not cheating and time, you need insulin, to heal and you're not making enough of your own right now, so just consider taking the pharmaceutical garbage, briefly, you need to make it as easy as you can, because there are so many other factors pulling at your strength), you won't get better in 3 weeks and the cravings will just about make you crazy, but you will still heal (if you don't cheat or over eat protein or vegetables), it will just take much longer.
   I'd like you to try hard to get high meat soon, It has been very helpful to me, and you most certainly have an overgrowth of yeast with any blood sugar problem, high meat is more powerful than fermented veg.  Just 2-3 chunks/day, best spread out with meals.
   Do eat, the fish guts and heads, and all of the fish, and shellfish you can, but you need fat. NO BUTTER, NO EGGS, not now, in about 3 months, or whenever your off insulin and have perfect blood sugars you can eat eggs, butter, and milk, and exercise, but now those things are BAD, and will hurt you and drastically slow progress. You must weigh your protein, not more than 6oz/meal, and only 3 meals/day. No snacks. No eating before bed. You can eat beef, pork, lamb, whatever meat is good quality and raw, if you must cook it, minimal. and with lots of fat, animal fat, especially bone marrow. Lard or tallow like for pemmican is ok, if you can't find raw. It will feed you and it won't raise your blood sugar, it will heal your hormones too. Fat is good, you must eat all that you can. NO BUTTER OR EGGS, not now. Coconut and olive oil are OK, but  won't due for more than a meal or 2, you need animal fat, and you can supplement with oil. Buy it online, freeze it, cook it, if you have to, but eat it every meal until you can't eat more, then have your small meat portion, sea vegetables, and greens. You will be full if you drink enough water, eat enough fat, have a small portion of meat, and get enough rest. If you are hungry between eat your next meal early, if your starving eat 4 whole meals. Just stop early in the evening and go to bed early.
   I like Ronsdale, and Bernstien, but my way is faster, better. Eat that stuff, later be strict now, and heal faster. They will be good for maintenance.
    Also, insulin is tricky, with zc. I want to help you. Maybe you could go without it, if you went 1 week with out cheating, and you checked your bs at least once in the morning, before eating, and you were under say 150, that would be a good sign, I would feel OK about no medical insulin, because that would mean your body was able to recover quickly, but you'd really have to check to know. My heart is with you.  Please follow my advise. I'm absolutely sure, because I've lived it myself. NOBODY else here can tell you that. They just don't really know.
   Lastly, you need to take a little time for you. Not long away from it all, or you'll not do it, 15 mins minimum. You are spread to thin. Be out side, alone at least 15 mins, just be with yourself. No planning, eating, talking. Just you in the prettiest, most comfortable outdoor place you can, or sit in a room alone by the open window at least 1x/day. You can walk or sit, as you prefer, but give this small gift to you.


Ok my sweet suffering ele. I hope you have a little peace within your hell this day.  Call me, I'll look for you, Thursday, it is my only day off. I'm sending you my cell, I want to have a nice chat, but I must sleep now too.

   

Francois there is a slight scientific mathematical chance that we could walk through a wall, and everything else he mentioned is within in the statistical realm of possibility also. Hard to prove, does not automatically make false.

Going barefoot is a transition, it requires diligence. My feet are out of shape, but last spring after being shod for winter. They remembered and transitioned rapidly, and improved past my previous year. I'm starting ct for my feet again, I want to be able to walk indefinitely through the snow. I only go 30secs before I run back in, but I think circulation will improve quickly, with frequency.
    Gravel teaches us to walk lightly.  Some gravel is sharper than others. You have a more intimate connection with the earth. Go slowly, 5mins or less daily. If you injure yourself then never make progress.
    I find the same is true for balancing. Working 12hrs today .

Most think of themselves as making healthy choices, by there own evaluation. But, I agree with Eve, every able older adult is most remarkably peaceful and indepentant of  thought and action, though not often demonstrative about it. Those few that are more outspoken/lively are full of good humor.
    99y/o reciently in hospital. Adorable gentleman, retrieved my pen from the floor, when I dropped it, before I could stop him, and I moved quickly. Insisted I call him by his first name, say that his father was Mr. So and So. He was tall, built sturdy with good tone and sharp whit. He couldn't come up with any reason he was healthy. He said it's not genetics, my kids are all sick, and in fact, the 2 I met looked older than him.
    Most seem to enjoy life, no matter what they are doing or what's going on.
Diet is important, but I agree attitude trumps it.

Move to Syracuse, and I'll hook you up. I eat well, mostly local. I wish I was near the ocean so I could do CT in the winter water and harvest my own seaweed, though. I want to make a 5 day road trip this spring and fill my trunk with seaweed, not sure NYC is a safe place to eat costal vegetables from, but I don't want to drive too far either. 

Barefoot -thanks but I've had a chocolate problem too, and I haven't had a bite of chocolate since mid Nov. I'm hoping to pull myself out of the nut binging, but I let myself have them for now, since I haven't been able to pull together the other important elements of rest and exercise.
    I do sprint up a steep hill every day because I barely make the time clock. I really enjoy it. Hills and climbing of all sorts make my heart pound, love it.

Inger - I reread what you wrote and I'm concerned that you are letting people drain you. I NEVER WANT YOU TO FEEL DRAINED BY ME. If you do, just don't read my stuff, or tell me, maybe that's what your trying to do. I'll back off, because I want you to have whatever space you need to feel good inspite of my sitch.
We having a loving, healing friendship, and I always want my presence to feel good to you, ie. no draining.
    I believe the constraint I've been experiencing is a great teacher, sadly elusive so far, but that doesn't mean I won't have my inspiration to change tomorrow. Until then, I do my best. There are lots of people that like to suck energy. I learned early in nursing how to really separate  myself.
I want to try to tell you how, maybe I'm way off here, ignore it, if I am. You can still love and care for others, but when you feel suckled, just pull your focus into yourself for a moment and feel your body, your physical borders, your skin and hair, then your cloths then all of the space that is between you and the other, even if you are holding hands, feel the border of your hand and become aware of the atomic space between your skin and you. Then, tell yourself, "this is me, my first priority. I don't choose to give my energy in anyway that doesn't FEEL honestly good in this moment." This is particularly powerful in partnership and especially sex. It's  easy to pick up too as a habitual response too. There's more if it is applicable let me know.
   I had a little raw onion alone and it's not as bad on my breath as it used to be. Maybe it won't smell tomorrow.
   
   

Inger,
   What do you mean think all new. I assume you mean find a creative way to live healthy, but how do you do it exactly? Would you give an example of a time you, "thought all new" about something that allowed you to life the dream, that brings health and happiness?

Do you marinate the onions? I hate onion breath, but I love onions, especially the little red one's. I like them alone like an apple, but my breath is bad for 3 days!!! It is in my lungs, no amount of brushing can control it. What is your experience? Does it stop happening with improved digestion? Or are you just less social for a few days after eating them?

I'm in Syracuse, 6hrs west, you are welcome if you make the drive.

Suiren - I feel much better, zc. I had problems when I transitioned to zc before, but this transition, was Ok. I don't understand what the difference was. You always do what's best for you, and I'll reciprocate, but we already were doing that  . Love, love, love your hair, btw