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« on: July 27, 2021, 08:29:23 am »
Reposting this again because when I finally hit "submit" the "DNS could not be reached" error message came up. Hope I'm not wasting my time twice!
I've been here a while but have not followed the advice completely. Right now my major problems are serious skin disorder (wounds take a very long time to heal if at all, I also have dry, flaky patches on my face that are noticeable even with makeup), anhedonia (lack of pleasure/motivation), weight gain, and muscle weakness/fatigue.
I know the major thing I need to do to reverse this is stop eating sugar/caffeine. A major part of my lack of motivation, I believe, is how I feel trapped in my life. I can see myself doing the same thing forever, and nothing will ever change, and then I die. It doesn't make me sad or cry; I'm not depressed. But I just can't get any enjoyment out of my life as it is, and I don't have any motivation to try to "improve" myself for a life that doesn't please me. My life is pretty much a pointless existence and my only "pleasure" lately is through consumption of goods (shopping), food (chocolate/lattes), and entertainment. It's like an endless rewind of the same stuff over and over. My life is "The Morning Half-Life Blues" by Marge Piercy. I'm not really alive.
I don't know if I can do totally raw carnivore for healing for multiple reasons. A major reason is that it's not possible socially. I've gotten over my fears of parasites since reading some of Aajonus's ideas about how they can only be harmful in a body that doesn't eat a regenerative diet (they eat dead tissue, which is regenerated by the raw diet), and I do incorporate raw meat into my diet now. I love raw chicken with honey and spices. Even if I had the self-discipline to eat this way at all times, it would be extremely difficult socially. I have to hide my raw meat eating habit now as it is because I do not live alone. For this reason, I've thought of eating a more plant-based raw diet but still incorporating the raw meat. I've been reading the authors Carol Alt (who eats all raw, including eggs, fish, and meat but a lot of produce) and Natalia Rose (she only eats raw produce, but cooked eggs and fish as well). I think this would be best for me.
I don't know how to get my motivation in order to be disciplined. Otherwise, I'm a very responsible person, and the "anhedonia" doesn't affect my work life at all - I get everything done, on time or ahead of time. I don't know where to start because a major reason for my indulgences in these bad dietary habits (sugar/caffeine) is simply to escape from my life. There's a major emotional component; I feel trapped. Many times I simply drive to get physically away from where I am. Even if I broke free, I would hardly know what to do with myself, lol.
Just sharing thoughts with, hopefully, people who can understand.