Author Topic: Give us a laugh !  (Read 224434 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline miles

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,904
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2011, 07:18:55 am »
*Video of dell boy falling through the bar on only fools and horses.*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew0qiozLtpU
5-10% off your first purchase at http://www.iherb.com/ with dicount code: KIS978

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #26 on: September 02, 2011, 09:16:19 am »
yo brits
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #27 on: September 02, 2011, 09:17:24 am »
Cheers
Al

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,225
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #28 on: September 02, 2011, 02:17:56 pm »
Great cartoon!

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #29 on: September 03, 2011, 07:09:02 am »
An old chestnut.. paleo drunk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9lKT07dmG0
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #30 on: September 03, 2011, 07:20:36 am »
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #31 on: September 03, 2011, 07:22:57 am »
Correlation Theory
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #32 on: September 03, 2011, 07:33:10 am »
Apparently they didn't consider the sun when designing this wall...

Anyone want to take a guess where this wall is located?

SAINT PETER'S BASILICA
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #33 on: September 12, 2011, 10:52:30 pm »
Bear in mind this is but a joke! And an old one at that.
The Husband Store it

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store
ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . . On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 -
These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 -
These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 -
These men have jobs, love the Lord, love k! ids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes
to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 -
You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Cheers
Al

Offline goodsamaritan

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 8,650
  • Gender: Male
  • Geek Healer Truth Seeker Pro-Natal Pro-Life
    • View Profile
    • Filipino Services Inc.
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #34 on: September 12, 2011, 11:22:21 pm »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1FkTTGCBVw

Let him show you how aid deals really work...

In short poverty is manmade by amoral people like Bill. Growth at all costs - and this is how you fuel it.

It is not conspiracy -- it's structural economic behaviour locked into Western Foreign Policy and therefore the global economy. It's branded aid but really its neo-colonialism.

www.renegadeeconomist.com
I'm the network administrator.
My business: Website Dev & Hosting and Email Server Provider,
My blogs: Cure Manual, My Health Blog, Eczema Cure & Psoriasis Cure

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #35 on: December 22, 2011, 08:18:35 am »
Y'all in England are safe with these guys protecting ya!

All I Want For Christmas - HMS OCEAN
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #36 on: January 06, 2012, 08:03:26 am »
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #37 on: January 09, 2012, 11:19:11 am »
Cheers
Al

Offline achillezzz

  • Chief
  • *****
  • Posts: 658
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #38 on: January 11, 2012, 06:57:12 am »

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #39 on: January 11, 2012, 08:32:22 pm »
Apparently hippos have discovered vege cooking.

Taco Bell Has The Same Effect On Me
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #40 on: February 05, 2012, 11:43:48 pm »
THE TOILET SEAT
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take
care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.
We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.
Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her
(Try to get a mental picture of this.).
Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,
"Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."
The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......
I just never saw one mounted and framed."
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #41 on: February 10, 2012, 08:40:45 am »
ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and
have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to
"A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to  "Let's get the
Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been
used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert
level from "Run" to "Hide."  The only two higher levels in France are
"Collaborate" and "Surrender."  The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that
destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's
military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing."  Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat
Operations" and  "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they
are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussells.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These
beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a
really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think
we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled."
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.



-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person.
 
 Cheers
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #42 on: February 17, 2012, 01:20:16 am »
Cheers
Al

CitrusHigh

  • Guest

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #44 on: February 18, 2012, 02:37:59 am »
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #45 on: March 06, 2012, 11:49:33 pm »
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #46 on: March 12, 2012, 01:45:43 am »
After filing their personal tax returns by April 30th, many Canadians will again receive a tax refund.
 
This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it in a Q & A format:
   
   
    Q.  What is a tax refund payment?
   
    A.  It’s money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
   
   
    Q..  Where will the government get this money?
   
    A.  From taxpayers.
   
   
    Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
   
    A.  Only a smidgen of it.
   
   
    Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
   
    A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
   
   
    Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
   
    A.  Shut up.
   
   
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your tax refund wisely:
   
*  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,  the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
   
   
*  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
   
   
*  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or   China .
   
       
   
*  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,  Honduras and Guatemala .
   
       
   
*  If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

   
     
   
* If you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to Taiwan .
   
     
   
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
   
   
Instead, keep the money in Canada by:
   
   
    1)  Spending it at yard sales, or     
   
    2)  Going to hockey games, or   
   
    3)  Spending it on prostitutes, or     
   
    4)  Beer or
   
    5) Tattoos.
   
   
(These are the only “truly” Canadian businesses still operating)



Conclusion:
   
Go to a hockey game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

   
No need to thank me,  I'm just glad to be of help.
Cheers
Al

CitrusHigh

  • Guest
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #47 on: March 14, 2012, 05:58:28 pm »

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,225
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #49 on: March 23, 2012, 11:31:29 pm »
hmmm
Cheers
Al

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk