An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf. So
he puts his name down at the local club.
After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down.
So he goes down to the club to enquire why.
Secretary: "You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?"
Scot: "Aye but I am as Scottish as you are Jock."
Secretary: "This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts."
Scot: "Aye, so do I."
Secretary: "You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?"
Scot: "Aye, neither do I."
Secretary: "But you are a Jew?"
Scot: "Aye, I be that."
Secretary: "So you are circumcised?"
Scot: "Aye, I be that too."
Secretary: "I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable
with that."
Scot:: "Ach, away wi' ya man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march
with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight
of Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick
to join a golf club."