Author Topic: Give us a laugh !  (Read 224432 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

CitrusHigh

  • Guest
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #125 on: August 24, 2012, 12:53:33 am »
Why didn't it show up for anyone when I did it GS?

Offline goodsamaritan

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 8,650
  • Gender: Male
  • Geek Healer Truth Seeker Pro-Natal Pro-Life
    • View Profile
    • Filipino Services Inc.
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #126 on: August 24, 2012, 08:03:35 am »
Why didn't it show up for anyone when I did it GS?

The image was cached in your browser.

The website was configured to block bandwidth "leechers" and since rawpaleodietforum.com is not listed as a website that is supposed to show that picture, the picture was blocked.
I'm the network administrator.
My business: Website Dev & Hosting and Email Server Provider,
My blogs: Cure Manual, My Health Blog, Eczema Cure & Psoriasis Cure

CitrusHigh

  • Guest
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #127 on: August 24, 2012, 08:46:00 am »
Wow, nice call Eve!

So should I not try to post images in that manner any more or is that an unusual occurrence?

Offline Alive

  • Chief
  • *****
  • Posts: 735
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #128 on: August 24, 2012, 03:57:15 pm »
Funny Finnish sci fi movie Star Wreck  :D

Star Wreck - In The Pirkinning (EN subs)

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #129 on: August 28, 2012, 01:10:49 am »
I think politicians should wear uniforms you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

Anonymous
Cheers
Al

Offline eveheart

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,315
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #130 on: September 05, 2012, 11:00:33 am »
Please rember to proofread and correct you're post's ...

Quote
The the Impotence of Proofreading
by Taylor Mali

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word1s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that1s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn1t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can1t can1t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won1t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You1re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I1m not joking, I1m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

Mali. Taylor. “The the Impotence of Proofreading.” What Learning Leaves. Newtown, CT: Hanover Press, 2002. Print. (ISBN: 1-­?887012-­?17-­?6)
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

CitrusHigh

  • Guest
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #131 on: October 07, 2012, 10:51:07 am »


I hope you can see this, didn't work last time, lmk please, I cleared my cache and it's still showing up, so hopefully?
« Last Edit: October 07, 2012, 11:26:16 am by Thoth »

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #132 on: October 07, 2012, 12:31:08 pm »


I hope you can see this, didn't work last time, lmk please, I cleared my cache and it's still showing up, so hopefully?
That'd drive the women insane.
Cheers
Al

Offline AlphaCog

  • Scavenger
  • *
  • Posts: 27
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #133 on: October 07, 2012, 03:34:31 pm »
Bacon Price


Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,225
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #134 on: October 12, 2012, 11:59:45 pm »
"
Prince Roy of Sealand, who has died aged 91, was plain Roy Bates until, on Christmas Eve 1966, he established his own micro-nation on an abandoned wartime sea fort off the Suffolk coast and declared himself head of state.
Prince Roy of Sealand

A year earlier, on the nearby Knock John fortified tower in the North Sea, Bates had established Radio Essex, claiming it as Britain’s first 24-hour pirate pop station, only to see it swiftly closed down by the Labour government.

After taking legal advice, Bates bought HM Fort Roughs, another derelict artillery installation, anchored to a sandbar just outside British territorial waters; but before he could revive his radio transmissions, the Marine Broadcasting (Offences) Act of 1967 outlawed the employment of British citizens by pirate stations. Embracing the ancient legal doctrine of jus gentium, Bates declared independence. Henceforth, he announced, he would be known as Prince Roy and his principality would be Sealand. He refurbished the platform, abandoned by the British military in the 1950s, and moved there with his wife and two children.

It was not long, however, before his bleak windswept hulk, with its twin towers of steel-reinforced concrete spanned by a 5,920 sq ft rusting iron platform some seven miles off Felixstowe, became not only res derelicta but terra nullius — effectively disputed territory. When the rival Radio Caroline claimed the platform for itself, Bates and his crew repelled a boarding party with Molotov cocktails and warning shots.

In 1967 government ministers sent the military to destroy several other wartime forts that had been abandoned in international waters. Bates and his family watched as explosions sent the huge structures cartwheeling hundreds of feet in the air. Helicopters carrying explosives buzzed overhead, and from a Royal Navy tug carrying a demolition squad came shouts of “You’re next!”

A year later, when the Royal Maritime auxiliary vessel Golden Eye passed close by, three warning shots were fired across her bow before she turned and raced for the shore. Bates was summonsed under the Firearms Act and in November 1968 appeared in the dock at Essex Assizes.

Amid much legal argument, statutes dating from the 17th century were cited. Summing up, the judge at Chelmsford remarked on “this swashbuckling incident perhaps more akin to the time of Sir Francis Drake”, but decided that, since Sealand lay outside British territorial waters, the courts had no jurisdiction. As far as Bates was concerned, this was Sealand’s first de facto recognition.

He claimed Sealand as the world’s smallest sovereign state, even though it was not recognised by the British government — which largely ignored it — or any foreign power. During the 1970s Bates created Sealand’s own constitution, flag (red and black with white diagonal stripe), passports, stamps, currency (the Sealand dollar, bearing his wife’s image), national anthem and motto: “E Mare Libertas” (“From the Sea, Freedom”).

Bates’s unilateral declaration of statehood became his core business. A German entrepreneur, Alexander Achenbach, proposed to turn Sealand into a luxury hotel/casino, receiving in return not only citizenship but also the office of prime minister for life. But in 1978, while Bates and his wife were away from Sealand on business, Achenbach flew in a party of German and Dutch businessmen by helicopter and effectively staged a coup d’état after a row with Bates over several million Deutschmarks.

Within days Bates — a wartime Army major — had retaken the platform in a dramatic predawn helicopter raid of his own.

From 100ft above the sea, he rappelled down a rope to the tiny helipad below. His son, Michael, did likewise. The Germans later confessed to being taken aback on encountering, in combat gear, an Englishman they had only known to wear a natty Savile Row suit and bowler hat.

In the melee, Bates brandished a rifle, but Michael was captured and held hostage in the galley before being flown to the Netherlands, where he was released after four days.

In turn, Achenbach’s lawyer, Gernot Pütz, a Sealand passport holder, was seized, hustled into a tender and charged with treason. Bates — by the “powers” vested in him as Prince Roy — solemnly sentenced him to life on the platform.

Seven weeks later, with Britain adhering to its stated position — it disclaimed jurisdiction outside her territorial waters — Germany finally sent a diplomat from its London embassy to Sealand to secure the release of its citizen.

Exercising his princely prerogative of clemency, Prince Roy immediately granted Pütz a pardon, reasoning that the German diplomatic mission to his windswept eyrie constituted a second de facto recognition of Sealand’s independence.

For many years Bates sold aristocratic titles (“Lord, Lady, Baroness — from £29.99”). He stopped issuing Sealand passports only in 1997, to counter widespread fraud. Over the years, his tiny fiefdom’s supposed sovereignty proved a magnet for people seeking sanctuary from the law, from gambling operators (whom Bates rejected) to, more recently, WikiLeaks, which was reportedly exploring the possibility of moving its computer servers to the principality.

Paddy Roy Bates was born in Ealing on August 29 1921, the only child in his family of five to survive infancy. His father, Harry, a Smithfield meat market salesman, had served as a Royal Artillery lieutenant in the First World War, winning an MC. Suffering breathing problems after being gassed, he moved the family to Southend-on-Sea .

Aged 15 Roy left Lindisfarne College, Westcliff-on-Sea, and travelled to Spain to fight for the International Brigade in the Spanish Civil War. On his return he joined his father at Smithfield, taking an apprenticeship and intending to run cattle ranches for Lord Vestey in Argentina.

During the Second World War he became an infantry major in the First Battalion Royal Fusiliers City of London Regiment. He served in the 8th India Division, seeing action in Africa, Italy, Iraq, Syria and elsewhere. Taken prisoner when his aircraft crashed on the island of Rhodes, he tried to escape but was captured by Greek Fascists . He was rescued from a firing squad by a passing German officer. In Italy Bates took part in the battle of Monte Cassino .

Wounded several times, Bates survived malaria, sandfly fever, frostbite and snakebite. When a German stick grenade exploded, smashing his jaw and showering shrapnel in his face, he was told by an Army surgeon that he would never find a wife as he would be so badly disfigured. But as his wounds healed, Bates met Joan Collins, a former beauty queen from Essex, at a dance, and within three months they had married.

After the war he imported meat from the Irish Republic to the rationed North, and rubber from Malaysia to make frogmen’s flippers. He then built up an inshore fishing fleet on the Essex coast. He also ran a chain of butcher’s shops, a wholesale meat depot and, at one time, an estate agency. But in the mid-1960s he became drawn to the pirate radio phenomenon and started Radio Essex .

In 1967, after moving his family to Fort Roughs and declaring UDI for the principality of Sealand, he bestowed the title of Princess on Joan as a romantic gesture for her birthday.

But in 1987, under the terms of a new United Nations treaty, Britain extended its territorial waters from three to 12 nautical miles, swallowing up Bates and his principality in the process. The three-mile zone — sometimes called the “cannon-shot rule” because it extended territorial sovereignty out to sea for a distance deemed equal to the range of a well-aimed cannonball — had been enshrined in international maritime law since at least the early 18th century.

Bates retaliated by extending Sealand’s own territorial waters from three nautical miles to 12, taking in the ports of Felixstowe and Harwich, and the southern outskirts of Ipswich.

When not living on Sealand, the Bates family commuted to a flat in Southend in an old fishing boat and later a rigid inflatable that could be lifted on to the platform.

Roy and Joan Bates retired to Spain in 2006. Their son Michael, latterly “Prince Regent” and acting head of state since 1999, opted for the terra firma of Essex, leaving the platform in the hands of a lone caretaker.

With Michael having appointed his own son, James, as Prince Royal, Sealand remains one of the few micro-nations to have established a viable dynasty. “Listen, old boy,” Bates told a journalist in 2000, “I like a bit of adventure. It’s the old British tradition. Maybe Britain’s changed, but there’s a lot of us still about.”

His wife and two children survive him.

Prince Roy of Sealand (Roy Bates), born August 29 1921, died October 9 2012"

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #135 on: October 13, 2012, 03:53:44 am »
Excellent Tyler!
Cheers
Al

Offline Alive

  • Chief
  • *****
  • Posts: 735
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #136 on: October 20, 2012, 01:23:04 am »
Very clever and amusing futuristic short movie =
A Futuristic Short Film HD: by Sight Systems

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,225
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #137 on: October 25, 2012, 05:23:24 pm »
For those of UKers who've been following the Jimmy Savile crisis, this should be quite funny:-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2222228/Mac--The-victims-Jimmy-Savile-filing-compensation-claims-worth-millions.html

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #138 on: October 26, 2012, 05:17:28 am »
I
Cheers
Al

Offline Alive

  • Chief
  • *****
  • Posts: 735
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #139 on: November 10, 2012, 02:25:17 am »
this made me laugh - a silly video about new zealand to the theme song of 'team america - world police'

New Zealand WHAKA YEAH!

Offline LePatron7

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,669
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #140 on: November 16, 2012, 04:38:42 am »
I think this is the funniest thing I've ever come across. It even rivals my favorite comedy rap group the lonely island.

It's the book of mormon musical, by the creators of south park.

Here's some links to hilarious youtube videos.

2012 Tony Awards - Book of Mormon Musical Opening Number - Hello (Hello)

Starbound 8 - Turn it Off (The Book of Mormon) (Turn it off)

I love the track turn it off.

Here's the lyrics.

I got a feeling,
That you could be feeling,
A whole lot better then you feel today
You say you got a problem,
well thats no problem,
It\'s super easy not to feel that way!

When you start to get confused because of thoughts in your head,
Don\'t feel those feelings!
Hold them in instead

Turn it off, like a light switch
just go click!
It\'s a cool little Mormon trick!
We do it all the time
When your feeling certain feels that just don\'t feel right
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
and turn em off,
Like a light switch just go bap!
Really whats so hard about that?
Turn it off! (Turn it off!)

When I was young my dad,
Would treat my mom real bad,
every time the Utah Jazz would loose.
He\'d start a\' drinking,
and I\'d start a thinking,
How am I gonna keep my mom from getting abused?

I\'d see her all scared and my soul was dying,
My dad would say to me, Now don\'t you dare start crying.

Turn it off, (Like a light switch just go click!)
(It\'s our nifty little Mormon trick!)
Turn it off! (Turn. It. Off!)

My Sister was a dancer, but she got cancer,
My doctor said she still had two months more
I thought she had time, so I got in line
for the new I-phone at the apple store.

She lay there dying with my father and mother
Her very last words were \"where is my brother?\"

(Turn it off!) Yeah!  (Bid those sad feelings a adieu!)
The fear I might get cancer too,

When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend Steve Blade,
He and I were close as two friend could be
One thing led to another, and soon I would discover,
I was having really strange feelings for Steve

I thought about us, on a deserted Island
We\'d swim naked in the sea, and then he\'d try and...

WOAH!  Turn if off, like a light switch,
there its gone! (Good for you!)
My hetero side just won!
I\'m all better now,
Boys should be with girls thats heavenly fathers plan
So if you ever feel you rather be with a man,
Turn it off.

ELDER PRICE: 
Well Elder McKinley, I think its ok that your having gay thoughts,
just so long as you never act on them.

ELDER MCKINLEY:
No, because then your just keeping it down,
Like a dimmer switch on low, (On low!)
Thinking nobody needs to know! (Uh oh!)

ELDER PRICE:
But that\'s not true!

ELDER MCKINLEY: 
Being gay is bad, but lying is worse,
So just realize you have a curable curse,
And turn it off!  (Turn it off, turn it off!)

(Dance)

Turn it off!

Now how do you feel!

ELDER PRICE: 
The same

ELDER MCKINLEY: 
Then you only got yourself to blame,
You didn\'t pretend hard enough,
Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes,
and find the box thats gay and CRUSH IT!
Ok?

ELDER PRICE:
No, no, -I\'m- not having gay thoughts

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Alright!  It worked!

(Yay!)

(Turn it off!)

(Turn it off, Turn it off!)

(Turn it off, turn it off like a light switch just go click click!
What a cool little Mormon Trick! Trick trick!
We do it all the time!)

ELDER MCKINLEY: 
When your feeling certain feelings that just dont seem right!
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light!
Turn it off!  (Like a light switch, shut it off!)
(Now he isn\'t gay anymore!)

(Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it...!)
(Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it...!)
(Turn it...)

ELDER MCKINLEY:  Turn it off!
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

Nocebo Effect - a detrimental effect on health produced by psychological or psychosomatic factors such as negative expectations of treatment or prognosis

Med free since 03/21/2014


Offline Iguana

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,015
  • Gender: Male
  • Eating tuna fish
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #142 on: November 18, 2012, 05:07:16 am »
Nice pic in the article for our thread Post videos of you eating raw meat with bare hands and teeth:



Quote
On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they ‘easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes’.
LOL ;D
Cause and effect are distant in time and space in complex systems, while at the same time there’s a tendency to look for causes near the events sought to be explained. Time delays in feedback in systems result in the condition where the long-run response of a system to an action is often different from its short-run response. — Ronald J. Ziegler

Offline TylerDurden

  • Global Moderator
  • Mammoth Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,225
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Raw Paleolithic Diet

Offline LePatron7

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,669
    • View Profile
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

Nocebo Effect - a detrimental effect on health produced by psychological or psychosomatic factors such as negative expectations of treatment or prognosis

Med free since 03/21/2014

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #145 on: November 30, 2012, 03:57:31 am »
ROFLMAO when that one gets out.
Cheers
Al

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #146 on: December 13, 2012, 12:05:24 pm »
After a two year loan to the United States ,
Michelangelo's David is being returned to Italy
Art Spot-Michelangelo's David returns to Italy from USA
Cheers
Al

Offline LePatron7

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,669
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #147 on: December 18, 2012, 02:01:01 pm »
The Lonely Island - Jizz In My Pants

"I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me, and when we're holding hands it's like having sex with me. You say I'm premature but I just call it ecstasy. I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity."
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

Nocebo Effect - a detrimental effect on health produced by psychological or psychosomatic factors such as negative expectations of treatment or prognosis

Med free since 03/21/2014

Offline raw-al

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,956
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #148 on: December 19, 2012, 01:10:16 am »
Shades of the Nails The Nails - 88 Lines About 44 Women

or Frank Zappa in his cruder moments, which was most of the time.

Testosterone tunes have been around since the beginning of time.
Cheers
Al

Offline eveheart

  • Mammoth Hunter
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,315
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Give us a laugh !
« Reply #149 on: December 20, 2012, 01:30:51 pm »
Doomsday forecast:
« Last Edit: December 20, 2012, 04:53:33 pm by TylerDurden »
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk