Author Topic: Inger's healing journey  (Read 160372 times)

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Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #300 on: February 05, 2015, 04:03:43 am »
I look back at my 'failed' relationships and wonder,, 'what if'...

I see you.

That is why I cant really leave him either. I cant see a future but maybe one should not give up so easy.
If he leaves me that is easier. But he has not yet.
I am going to think about it Van... what you wrote above..... i actually hate divorces of any kind. I always did.... i just cant relate to it it feels so wrong
but i cant let me get destroyed either. But there might be a way.. i need to figure it out :)
i am going to stay open.. and listen
I need to get real strong !

Offline Projectile Vomit

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #301 on: February 05, 2015, 04:25:40 am »
I empathize with you Inger. My partner and I struggle with our lifestyle differences too. She loves my quirky dietary preferences and other associated health choices, but I've yet to convince her to even try most raw foods, aside from certain commonly available sweet fruits and the occasional raw veggie. We've ended up settling into a polyamorous relationship so we can enjoy our attraction to each other while looking for other people who might be better matches.

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #302 on: February 05, 2015, 04:48:47 am »
Eric....
I do not mind at all if he eats crap and smokes etc... seriously! But that he tries to drag me into his bad behavior... that is what i cant let happen.
I personally think there must always be a way to compromise! I have told him we could have separate bedrooms? That way he can watch TV in the night in bed and go as late to bed as he pleases etc. Because now... my sleep gets destroyed all the time when i am by him... it just does not work
and i swear i never say no to sex! That does not destroys my sleep, it only makes me happier! Actually i need it very much.... (and i hate when i feel i get second place to the TV.. why do not have hot sex instead.. so much better huh) But the TV the bright lights etc etc..... they make me sleepless for sure

I can see thousand of ways how we could happily live together totally different lifestyles. Cause he has a huge house. Then it is easy. But he seems to not accept that... like he wants me to change. yeah and that hurts cause i cant change the stuff that makes me feel so good.
I am poor and he is very rich. Maybe he thinks he has the power because of that. Good is i have an ex husband who care for me very generously and is totally on board with all my health stuff, raw animal food, avoiding EMF etc etc. He believes in it all and lives pretty much like that too



Offline nummi

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #303 on: February 05, 2015, 05:42:53 am »
He sounds like a person severely stuck in mainstream and its negative influences.
Based on what you say he seems like a "control-freak"... like he wants to "own" you, "dominate" you. It is weird that a person cannot accept someone for who she is... or rather it's normal, in the "mainstream" world. And tries to "force" his own qualities onto you if they simply to not fit at all. His mind doesn't sound like much advanced... at least in these regards.

The understandings you have, equivalent understanding are not part of who he is... How long and what did it take for you do acquire your understandings? The processes you had to go through... that made you who you are now. Maybe you could find a "hole" in him through which you could perhaps start introducing equivalent understanding little by little, initiating his processes of finding more than what he thinks he knows and understands, in a way that those understandings would incorporate into his being.

Offline JFetter

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #304 on: February 05, 2015, 06:22:57 am »
I can relate. 
I am a guy, and I've always had a hard time being the one to break things off.  I don't mind so much if the other person ends it... I can go meet new girls and enjoy myself.
But to be the one to break things off, feels like I am "closing a door" in life with someone.  And for some reason I hate closing doors.... it always seems so final.

My opinion is that some (small) compromise can be OK over time.  But sometimes 2 people are so different, that it would take too much compromise to make it work, and one person (or both) would end up unhappy. 

I think you're beautiful.  I'll make a deal with you - you can come live with me and we can have a home on acres of rural land... away from the city and other people... with lots of green land and woods to walk through and have spring picnics..... lots of sex and no cable for TV..... but you have to come to the US!  ;D

I think you're doing the right thing.  Take your time.... and time will help you see things more clearly and hurt less.

Offline goodsamaritan

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #305 on: February 05, 2015, 07:15:41 am »
Here is my 2 cents about making man woman relationships work.
As i come from a land and culture far far away.

I get along well with any woman as long as she is no nagger.  And my paleo and healing skills are much appreciated.

As long as I am committed to children and as long as she is committed to children and we have children between the two of us... we will make things work between us.  Continuous inseminatioin works via Natural Family Planning because of the semen transmission solidifies the chemical / physical / bonds.

And of course as long as I am able to support with money .  We have no government dole outs in this country, so you had better get along well enough or your children will go hungry.
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Offline zaidi

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #306 on: February 05, 2015, 09:04:18 pm »
My opinion is that some (small) compromise can be OK over time.  But sometimes 2 people are so different, that it would take too much compromise to make it work, and one person (or both) would end up unhappy. 

* One must keep in mind that there are always limit to everything. Too much compromise may break you.

* Secondly, Compromise begins if other party is also ready to adopt (otherwise it is not a compromise, but it's name is Dominance VS subservient/submissive). Till the time this condition is not fulfilled, compromise is never going to work one sided. You may stay together, but you will not be happy.


Negatives:
* He is unable to understand EMF % Light stuff. And TV is playing very big role in the social life every night along with disco and drinking.
* One side gives him freedom to eat as he wishes, to watch TV as he wishes. But is he ready to give the same freedom to the other side?

My Fears:
* Human being is a social animal. His whole social life and of his friends and relatives is different. In case of non balanced compromise, it may happen sooner or later in the future that demands could come to eat cooked foods too in the parties or with the friends.
* One must keep in mind too that if he is more inclined towards body than the spiritual friendship, and he also keeps on eating his SAD diet and drinking and unhealthy lifestyle, then sooner or later he may be going to lose his health too, which automatically means less body interest too.


Positives:
* He has no objection upon the diet. He understands the importance of diet. Alone this fact could bring huge change. May be once if he gets bad health, he will be forced to start the Raw Paleo himself.

All these Positives and Negatives and fears should be judged and evaluated by Inger herself.

Earlier one Paleo friend also mentioned that it is very important to take the time (i.e. no fast actions needed). Some people do learn things with the passing time.

Quote
I think you're beautiful.  I'll make a deal with you - you can come live with me and we can have a home on acres of rural land... away from the city and other people... with lots of green land and woods to walk through and have spring picnics..... lots of sex and no cable for TV..... but you have to come to the US! ;D

Sir, show the compromise and please come to Germany yourself in order to find the love of your life ;D . Absolutely nothing against your relationship, but big NO to  going to US, while I am myself in Germany too  and don't want to lose Inger to USA  ;) .

Back to the topic ... sometimes it does play huge role to be among the people/community who have similar lifestyle. We all benefited ourselves from this community (Forum) to get constant INSPIRATION from each other.

So, this is an extra PLUS point and one has to take this into the consideration too.

You see, fighting alone against the SAD eaters world is a difficult task. But 2 partners together could face the world in a better way. Also if Oyster Babies come, then both raw paleo parents could fight the challenges in better way. It will be very difficult for a single raw paleo mother to meet the challenges alone, specially if there is not a 100% behavior of compromise from the other partner.

So, I have also one more fear (the biggest fear) that more differences could occur after the baby is there.

Distances in modern world mean nothing. In general, if you have enough money, then you could reach to any part of the world within 24 hours. So, if one could find a suitable partner even in the other corner of the world, then please don't fear and go for it.

Quote
I think you're doing the right thing.  Take your time.... and time will help you see things more clearly and hurt less.

It is a good advice. Most important task is to not let yourself get hurt.  Healing is good, but PREVENTION is better.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2015, 09:16:12 pm by zaidi »

Offline eveheart

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #307 on: February 06, 2015, 01:30:51 am »
I've seen so many variations in relationships that I find it hard to make rules that apply to everybody.

I've seen couples break up harmonious relationships because they find too much conflict. I've seen couples stay in hostile relationships because they find enough love. Any decision will have its pros and cons, so don't worry about making a mistake.
"I intend to live forever; so far, so good." -Steven Wright, comedian

Offline Alive

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #308 on: February 10, 2015, 02:36:19 am »
Inger, having your own bedroom would be good so you can control your evening environment. He can visit anytime for chatting, massage, sex, sleeping etc as long as he leaves the light off.
Sounds nice to me :)

Offline goodsamaritan

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #309 on: February 10, 2015, 07:22:46 am »
Inger, having your own bedroom would be good so you can control your evening environment. He can visit anytime for chatting, massage, sex, sleeping etc as long as he leaves the light off.
Sounds nice to me :)


My wife and I sleep in adjacent houses... boys sleep with me, girl sleeps with her. I have started turning off the power at night like Inger.  I bought a battery rechargeable electric fan when it is hot.  It is hot in my country so there is no need to be beside one another for warmth when sleeping at night.

Sex is any other time and location.  Yes, my wife is active again after a 10 yr "rest".
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 07:28:33 am by goodsamaritan »
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Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #310 on: February 12, 2015, 03:53:09 am »
I can relate. 
I am a guy, and I've always had a hard time being the one to break things off.  I don't mind so much if the other person ends it... I can go meet new girls and enjoy myself.
But to be the one to break things off, feels like I am "closing a door" in life with someone.  And for some reason I hate closing doors.... it always seems so final.

My opinion is that some (small) compromise can be OK over time.  But sometimes 2 people are so different, that it would take too much compromise to make it work, and one person (or both) would end up unhappy. 

I think you're beautiful.  I'll make a deal with you - you can come live with me and we can have a home on acres of rural land... away from the city and other people... with lots of green land and woods to walk through and have spring picnics..... lots of sex and no cable for TV..... but you have to come to the US!  ;D

I think you're doing the right thing.  Take your time.... and time will help you see things more clearly and hurt less.

Well... I will be in NOLA in June.... ;)

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #311 on: February 12, 2015, 04:20:27 am »
Thank guys for all your support... I REALLY appreciate it. More than you can imagine............

I know the future will be amazing... and IDK but even if my life is pretty much chaos I feel so good... like super full of energy and so happy I cant stop smiling?! I just quit my work I got a few weeks back because i realized my boss is not fully honest and now I am looking for another job and i should actually be stressed but I am just finding it all super exciting....lol like life is so much fun  ;D

I am going to not think much about the boyfriend, just go on with my life and stay open like a kid
He lives so far away anyways. If he comes visit he can as long as he is nice to me ;) and as long as I have no other boyfriend ;)
Who knows how everything works out in the end? Life is full of surprises.. that is for sure.......

GS,
I love how you shut off the electricity at night.... very clever step :)
Do you use candles only after sunset too? Very good for the hormones :)

I do all these things with having it dark after sunset... dipping in ice cold water.... avoiding EMF... eating soooo much seafood and FAT and seaweeds....etc.  and my hormones are VERY much alive.. feels really good :) :) :)

Offline Alive

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #312 on: February 12, 2015, 11:14:14 am »
I have been sleeping in the loft of our barn for the last year - at one end there is an opening with no window and it's nice to have the wind blowing in all night. I find it very peaceful to be out of the house and my wife and I have been getting on much better since I moved. It nice to be away from her turning the lights on or starting work on a computer in the middle of the night. There is a family of sparrows nesting in my roof who are good neighbors and I wake up to the sound of a family of pukekos (swamp hens) foraging outside.
 :)

Offline Joy2012

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #313 on: February 13, 2015, 11:18:15 am »


I am poor and he is very rich. Maybe he thinks he has the power because of that. Good is i have an ex husband who care for me very generously and is totally on board with all my health stuff, raw animal food, avoiding EMF etc etc. He believes in it all and lives pretty much like that too

Your ex-husband sounds more attractive than this BF. Is there any possibility you and Your ex. go back together?

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #314 on: February 14, 2015, 05:19:31 pm »
I have been sleeping in the loft of our barn for the last year - at one end there is an opening with no window and it's nice to have the wind blowing in all night. I find it very peaceful to be out of the house and my wife and I have been getting on much better since I moved. It nice to be away from her turning the lights on or starting work on a computer in the middle of the night. There is a family of sparrows nesting in my roof who are good neighbors and I wake up to the sound of a family of pukekos (swamp hens) foraging outside.
 :)

Alive, you are experiencing the magic of cold, dark and boring ;)
It is the most healing thing IMHO I am addicted to it! I crave it.... those dark nights and evenings.... they makes one turn inside........ go deep.. and you find the light, inside you :)
It is pretty darn amazing :)

Nowadays, if I have to be somewhere with much lights on after sunset, I really suffer! It feels so weird, like really off!

I believe, to let our bodies experience daylight / sunshine  and darkness... when they naturally occur... it is very very healing. We need them both... to get our body into the rhythm of nature. We live in a chaotic environment and our bodies desperately need to feel its environmental signals to make sense of the chaos.. and get into order to fight illness. The nnEMF messes with the signals really bad, so we need it more than ever!

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #315 on: February 14, 2015, 05:25:41 pm »
Your ex-husband sounds more attractive than this BF. Is there any possibility you and Your ex. go back together?

Well.... I do not think he ever was that attracted to me as a woman.. more than a friend. Our hormones just did not fit that well I guess.....
Seems like men with a lot of hormones get attracted to me and I to them  l)
those are the alpha males......... The ex is kinda a alpha male too but not really big. Maybe if he eats lots of oysters and raw fish he will boost his hormones and turn into one...lol He eats raw fish all the time now, pretty cool :)

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #316 on: May 19, 2015, 01:52:48 am »
Oh man.... so long no update...lol
Well... doing great! My staple food is still raw wild mackerel from around the corner  ;D and wild oysters I pick myself :)
and nettles from the woods.. and chickweed... everything green is growing here now even if the weather has been pretty cold and rainy and stormy!
I get at least 6 grams of DHA every day I guess - no wonder my mood is great despite stuggles here and there in love affairs and such  O0
well... I understand... I am weird...lol who drinks fish heads?  And keeps it dark in the evening and goes early to bed... how boring..lol >D must be a pretty tolerant partner... and I am not willing to give up that  :)

Soooo exited about my trip to the Kruse Cruise 21 June from New Orleans..... only 1 more month...... OMG... I still cannot believe I am going there!
I never was overseas. And I will meet so many amazing people... Do anyone from this forum come too?

Working a lot these days.. doing 2 jobs... working 7 days a week.. but going strong... lots of energy :)

Greetings from the windy and so amazing north Germany  :)  :)  :)


Offline TylerDurden

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #317 on: May 19, 2015, 03:46:13 am »
Lovely to hear from you. Makes me sad, though. I used to have access to lots of raw wild mackerel and raw oysters. I can still get them but they are not as good, being sourced from a 1000 miles away.
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Offline goodsamaritan

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #318 on: May 19, 2015, 06:43:15 am »
Please post a link to the Kruse Cruise on June 21 that you are joining!
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Offline political atheist

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #319 on: June 02, 2015, 12:14:15 am »
Oh man.... so long no update...lol
Well... doing great! My staple food is still raw wild mackerel from around the corner  ;D and wild oysters I pick myself :)
and nettles from the woods.. and chickweed... everything green is growing here now even if the weather has been pretty cold and rainy and stormy!
I get at least 6 grams of DHA every day I guess - no wonder my mood is great despite stuggles here and there in love affairs and such  O0
well... I understand... I am weird...lol who drinks fish heads?

do you eat the ENTIRE fish(skin, insides, head, tail etc.)?
how do you eat the head?

i just got mackerel and sardines.. I dont know how to eat them.. i was thinking to just cut them in small pieces and blend them...
How do you eat the fish Inger? Give me please some recipes...
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Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #320 on: June 02, 2015, 03:56:31 am »
Lovely to hear from you. Makes me sad, though. I used to have access to lots of raw wild mackerel and raw oysters. I can still get them but they are not as good, being sourced from a 1000 miles away.

I would still eat them Tyler.... way better as nothing! I eat a bit old mackerel too often and no issues here.... I need seafood no mater what...lol

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #321 on: June 02, 2015, 03:59:46 am »
Please post a link to the Kruse Cruise on June 21 that you are joining!

well... there is no link but you need to log in to be a member at jackkruse.com website and it costs nothing if you get a bronze membership, and you will get the information per mail :) Cruise goes off from New Orleans Sunday 21 June...... for one week. I am so excited!!!!

Offline Inger

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #322 on: June 02, 2015, 04:03:28 am »
do you eat the ENTIRE fish(skin, insides, head, tail etc.)?
how do you eat the head?

i just got mackerel and sardines.. I dont know how to eat them.. i was thinking to just cut them in small pieces and blend them...
How do you eat the fish Inger? Give me please some recipes...

I buy them whole, filet them and make me a nice dish from the fillets, and the heads I blend with water into smoothie and drink.... with roe and fishmilk if there are any... (I freeze some of the heads in portions as they will soon get bad otherwise.. and then just take them up and thaw and make me fishhead smoothies when I need a boost - the more oysters I have the less I need the fishheads cause the smoothie is a little yucky...lol))
The fillets I cut up into pieces and mix with sliced raw onion, sea salt, ACV.. and let it stay in my fridge in a big bowl and I eat from it maybe 5 days and it is awesome :)
I now at this moment have about 100 oysters in my fridge too...lol I feel so rich :) :) :)

Offline RogueFarmer

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Re: Inger's healing journey
« Reply #323 on: June 03, 2015, 02:24:02 am »
Make sure you bring a portable fishing pole and tackle! If you can find a squid lure they are really easy to catch at night, especially if there is a light near the water attracting them. Or you could order one of these luminous squid lures that will bring them in like a magnet. http://www.amazon.com/8inch-Luminous-Squid-Fishing-Stainless/dp/B00B32SO2K/ref=sr_1_10?s=hunting-fishing&ie=UTF8&qid=1433269293&sr=1-10

Squid are pretty common near the surface at night in the open ocean, i would go for it! Be careful though, a small squid might put up a surprising fight. They say 40 pound humbolts on the west coast fight like a 300 pound fish! Squids on this side are generally much smaller than that though.


 

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